Young Life
by JojoTea
Summary: Kirishima has been reborned! Atleast, he hopes he has. Kirishima starts anew at UA High,trying his best to meet friends and understand them. Better, well, only one boy in paticular he really wants to get to know. But Bakugou is making that harder than it has to be. Lots of angst, romance, heart ache... and sexy times.
1. First Time

**_Hey guys! I know it's been a very long time but I finally got inspired to start writing fan fics again! Sorry for the wait for some of you who really like my stories. I mostly stopped because of school but now I've hit a point in my college life where I feel like I can write again. This is a Bakugou and Kirishima story. There will be strong language, trigger scenes (for some) and (later) sexual themes. You have been warned! I do not own MHA nor the characters used. Please enjoy._**

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_8.27_

_This is going to be rough_

This_ is going to be hard, take a lot of time, and it **will** be painful, no doubt about it. These are all just things we must go through and I will be as mighty as ever! Things will turn out differently than I had_ _even ever dreamt of! People will think I'm cool, they'll think I'm interesting, they'll turn their head and just smile right at me... How stupid… I talk a big_ _game but never play, who am I kidding- damn… she was right, I can't be unrealistically positive or else everything will cave in on me fast. It can't happen again. So just have a good day, maybe talk to someone new. At least try, and look hopeful_.

Kirishima shut his notebook, placing it close to his chest, took a great big sigh and closed his eyes. And he wasn't going to open them until he saw white specks float all around his eyeballs. It was his first day back to school, but not at his school. No, they knew too much about Kirishima for him to ever go back and become a normal young man. It took sometime but his mother found a small, cheap apartment, easy enough 16 year old to manage in Musutafu. A school far far far from home. A fresh start, a start that was hard for Kirishima to believe that he fully deserved. He'd think about people who he never knew but had to have existed who were worse off than he was. Worse off in ways that he could never imagine… but that was himself telling him all these things. Of course no one ever agreed with Kirishima, but it was how his brain worked, sadly. The white dots started to show in the darkness, so Kirishima opened his eyes, got up, and walked to the close mirror in the hallway his mother had hung up.

_Smile! You'll feel so much better about yourself, baby boy!_

So Kirishima did, he looked down at his reflections' mouth and awkwardly gave a sharp toothy grin. For a second, it did actually make him feel good, the smile started to contort to a more perfect curve. Cheeks ample and turning red, he looked up at his dark hair, a tanish skin but then he looked at himself in the eyes, it quickly fleeted, he slouched his shoulders and rolled his eyes. He started walking away from the reflection and going towards his shoes. He slipped them on and grabbed his backpack, placing the notebook inside and keys. He grabbed his pass for the new train he was going to ride. And over and over in Kirishima's head, he repeated the train changed he went through. _Get_ _on_ _the_ _bus_ _first_, _then_ _the_ _train_ _with_ _the_ _blue_ _strip_ _Ma_ _showed_ _you_ _on_ _the_ _first_ _day_ _here_. He clicked his tongue and shook his head.

"I feel like I'm about to go on a roller coaster."

He mumbled to himself. He thought it was such a lame motivational speech. But he opened up the door, locked it, and he was on his way. His stomach felt upset. He forgot to eat breakfast.

———————————————————————

Kirishima was sitting on the bus, no one on either side of him which made him antsy. He didn't have headphones in, his legs only slightly spread and hands in his lap. He tried to keep a soft look on his face, but he must not have succeeded in that. Kirishima thought he did everything to look approachable, but he still saw a young lady choosing to stand up while reading a book. He must be failing, somehow.

"Hey! This seat taken?"

Maybe not.

Kirishima's eyes brightened up and looked up at the loud voice that approached him. A very cute boy, about his age, blonde hair with an edgy black streak in his hair, smile sweet as candy with an energy that would give you vibrations if he was anywhere close to you. Kirishima swallowed and nodded his head fast, eagerly, more eager than he wanted.

"Cool, thanks," he said and plopped next to Kirishima, "You have a UA uniform on like me. I never see any UA student on this train before. Most of them live within walking distance. It's a big school but this is a small train."

"I'm new, this is actually my first day."

"Really?! Oh, you'll really like it, at first I was kinda iffy about it when I started with how huge it is but after awhile it's really easy to make friends and there are tons of clubs to join and-"

The blonde boy kept speaking rapidly and jumping from one subject to another. Kirishima's eyes started to get wider, the words started to jumble together. It was starting to become a little overwhelming as Kirishima kept seeing his lips move. He pierced his bottom lip, and his cheeks turned red. He tensed up his shoulders and gathered all the courage.

"My name is Kirishima Eijiro, it's very nice to meet you! What's your name?!"

The boy stopped talking. Kirishima didn't look around the train because he already knew some were looking at him. But that would only be brief, but he kept his eyes closed. There was a quiet pause, he hoped that his volume wasn't loud enough to make the blonde boy scurry away. Kirishima started to heat laughter, he peeked open one eye and saw the young man rubbed the back of his head.

"Ha! I'm so sorry, I'm always so bad at these kinds of things. Sometimes I'm just a dumbass you know? Let's start over, yeah?" The boy moved his hand in front of Kirishima, right by his nose, "I'm Kaminari Denki and it's very nice to meet you, Kirishima."

That smile again. Even after that awkward interruption, Kaminari held out his hand, sported some juvenile dialogue before a proper introduction. Kirishima grabbed Kaminari's hand, tight enough to engage and shook.

"Likewise, Kaminari." Kirishima said and smiled at him. Trying to mimic the same energy Kaminari gave out. Utterly failing.

"Whoa! Look at the chops on you! How cool," Kaminari said, leaning in close to Kirishima. He flinched, but not enough to give the idea he was uncomfortable, "How'd ya get teeth like that?"

Kirishima let out a breathy laugh, "Uh ... from my mama? Everyone tells us we got the same smile."

"Hehe, that's a good one. It makes you look so tough… actually, there's lots of cool stuff about you. Like that scar on your eye," Kaminari pointed at the small triangle above his eye, "and I like your hair too. You're very manly looking."

"Oh… well thanks…"

Of course Kirishima wasn't going to tell Kaminari that he took none of that as a real compliment. He wasn't going to open his mouth and say he hated his jagged teeth, that his scar was gross and that he absolutely wasn't going to say that he thought his hair wasn't anywhere close to nice. So instead he lied, and let Kaminari nod happily, letting him feel like he did something nice. Kirishima wanted to be nowhere close to manly, physically.

Kaminari pulled out his phone and headphones, tangled up from his pocket.

"You ever watch any of those superhero shows?" Kaminari asked, looking up something on his phone.

"Only when I was younger. As of late I haven't been keeping up with any of them."

"I love them! I watch at least one episode of _The_ _Powers_ every morning on the train, it's always so dramatic and action packed. The actor who plays All Might in it is actually one of my friends step dad. How neat is that huh? It's almost like I know a famous person."

"I've heard of that guy before, that show must be really popular. Wow, I've never known anyone like that before, let alone met them and stuff. Does um, does he go to UA too? You're friend?"

"Yeah, he's really nice, I'll introduce you once we get there. What homeroom are you in?"

"Umm…. wait a sec, I know I wrote it down here," Kirishima unzipped his backpack and pulled out his journal. Kaminari leaned over his shoulder as Kirishima looked. Flipping through it cautiously, not to give anything away about himself yet, "Ah! Yeah, 1-A. Sorry about that, I forget about things really easy sometimes." _Lies. _He wanted to make sure that he was right.

"1-A. I'll be damned, that's my class!" Kaminari disregarded that whole forgetfulness, which comforted Kirishima, "That's great, you'll meet all the coolest people in the whole school."

"Really? What a coincidence… Lucky almost."

Kirishima looked down at his shoes. Brand new sneakers, school shoes (also new) buried in his backpack somewhere. Why was it easy? It's never been this easy before so why now? How unfair he'd have to wait so long for something like this to finally happen. This made him worried, this would make the fall harder once everyone would inevitably figure out that he wasn't right. Kirishima clenched his pants and felt fearful. Kaminari leaned over and held out an earbud in front of him.

"You wanna watch an episode with me?"

_What_ _the_ _hell_.

For now, while everything was smooth, why not pretend? Keep the sky as clear as possible before a rain cloud pops up. Kirishima grabbed the earbud and nodded. Kaminari moved closer and held his phone in between them. It would be 15 minutes until they would arrive at school. Kaminari pressed play on the video and the intro began to play. Kirishima thought about how he'd begin his next journal entry.

———————————-

"My name is Kirishima Eijiro. It's very nice to meet all of you."

He curled his lips up, smiling without showing teeth. He didn't want another incident like this morning. He saw Kaminari give him a thumbs up, Kirishima now believed that somehow Kaminari will be his best friend. He then believed that he was jumping to conclusions too quickly as he stood in front of the classroom. He only made eye contact with Kaminari and the few other friends he got introduced to, in a hurry, he felt, by Kaminari.

The teacher, Mr Aizawa, nodded, pleased with his new student's fair introduction. Mr Aizawa had a typical look of a homeless man. Scraggly black hair, unshaven chin, wrinkled shirt and the look of sorrow just for being alive in his face. Kirishima though he was the definition of 'couldn't care less' personified into a living being. Kirishima only wished to be at that level of not giving a fuck. Maybe then he wouldn't worry about an introduction he had just done.

"Thank you, Kirishima,"Mr Aizawa said, the only reason was because as a teacher he was obligated to act like he cared more than he did, "You can have a seat over by….. Wait, is Bakugo not here again?"

Kirishima noticed that now he was being ignored. He must not have been of any importance anymore, at least that's what Kirishima thought. He saw a few other students turn his head, including Kaminari who seemed to have been sitting right by the empty desk this whole time. Two being both Kamira's good friends. A bubble gum pink haired girl named Mina who seemed just as much of an air head as Kaminari, and a tall boy named Sero to be one of the smarter ones out of the group.

"Damn…. That's the second day in a row…"

Kirishima would be the only one in the class to have ever heard that from Mr Aizawa. He was too far from the other students at his desk, and he spoke so quietly under his breath no one would ever know. He did it quietly because he didn't want his others to know he would hate to do such a thing because it would take a lot of effort on his part and that's not really his thing.

"You can sit down, Kirishima. There's an open desk in front for you." Mr Aizawa said, much louder this time.

"Yes, sir."

Kirishima started to walk towards the desk. It seemed to be in front of the missing seat. Maybe it was good that this Bakugou wasn't in class today. Kirishima wouldn't be worried if they couldn't see behind his head, or hated his new cologne, or even think for a moment that they would never want to work with Kirishima in a project ever. Kirishima closed his eyes and sighed. He was already making up assumptions from a person who wasn't even there. And that's actually why that maybe good turned into a stupid idea.

"Alright everyone," Mr Aizawa announced, choosing not to stand up from his chair. He pulled out a stack of books and dropped them loudly on the desk, "Iida pass out the work books please. We'll go over last week's homework. Kirishima, I guess you can look over Bakugo's work to help you familiarize with what you'll be learning."

Too lax to even worry about Kirishima learning anything today. Kirishima simply nodded, as the tall, broad, overwhelming, overbearing personality known as Iida handed him the workbook with this so-called-Bakugou. He tried to take it out of Iida's hand but there was some pull, forcing Kirishima to look up at him. Such a serious face he saw looking down at him, his glasses seemed to gleam.

"Don't think about changing these answers,"Iida said, knowing full well that Mr Aizawa already graded these already. Probably the hour before school, "I'm not saying I don't trust you. I just want you to know you wouldn't be able to do it even if you tried."

Ah yes, the perfect test.

"Thanks for the warning. Appreciate it."

Iida finally let up and continued up the rows until everyone had their assigned booklet. On the front of Kirishima's book it was titled, _Bakugou_ _Katsuki_. Mr Aizawa, only forced to stand up because the chalk was too far from his desk, he began to write out a problem on the board.

"If you will turn to page 142 in your books, I'm going to go over the questions most of the class missed."

A sheepish groan came from both Mina and Kaminari. Kirishima assumed that they must have missed a good portion of the questions. A young girl who Kaminari introduced as Jiro snickered, she got a laugh out of others dumb mistakes. He turned to the assigned page in the book. He tilted his head, and saw that there were no marks on the page. Only a sloppy 100 written on the top corner of the page. It couldn't have been that easy if Mr Aizawa had to go over a good amount of questions. As Mr Aizawa's voice drained on and the few pencil scratching notes, Kirishima decided to turn a few pages back. Looking at an older page, seeing the identical 100 at the top. After that page, another. And another. A 98 on the next. Another 100. It went on like this for the rest of the work book. All the way from the first assignment, which, unless Bakugou learned about how to solve these problems before coming to this class, was pretty much impossible. At least, Kirishima thought. He also thought about how intimidating it would be to be that smart. And how frightening to would be once this person was sitting behind him.

———————————————————————-

School seemed to be much long when there was nothing really to learn there. Kirishima thought that maybe in the near future, once everyone had gotten used to the fact the he will be sitting in the same seat, at the same time tomorrow, and maybe then he will learn something to make the day go by faster. He gripped his backpack straps tightly as he walked out of the school with Kaminari by his side. He was sure that Kaminari must have walked home with more familiar people than Kirishima. With the approachable look he had made him a gem, Kirishima knew he only did it out of niceness. Or the fact they took the same train home. Or the fact Kaminari was the slowest packer out of all the students, and Kirsihima was willing to wait on him.

"So first day, huh? Wasn't too hard for ya was it?" Kaminari asked.

"No, but it's not supposed to be hard right? It's the rest of the year that's supposed to be tough."

Too pessimistic, but Kaminari giggled anyway.

"I guess you're right but hey," Kaminari opened the door, holding it for Kirishima, "Can't hurt to ask."

Kirishima didn't reply. He felt a knot began to swell up in his chest, his nose tickled like he needed to sneeze but knew he wouldn't. His fingers locked up due to him holding his straps too tightly. He wanted to say something before Kaminari would gasp to take a breath before speaking again. He stayed quiet as he thought about what he wanted to say.

"So-"

"Hey, do you think maybe you, or like, a friend would want to come over to my place?" Kirishima quickly, hoping it wasn't his second rude interruption. But they stopped walking, "I mean, it's not like my ma is there, it would be pretty cool to have someone over for the first time without a parent. I wouldn't even mind if you weren't there, I can entertain.I have Netflix, we could watch that show you let me watch earlier, it seemed cool. Maybe invite your friend Izuku with the famous da-"

"I'd love to but I can't," Kaminari said before Kirishima could embarrass himself anymore. Flashing a small smile, "I already made plans with my boyfriend."

"You can bring him along too. I have lots of snacks, enough for a ton of people." He kept trying to persuade. Trying too hard.

"I'm sorry Kirishima but… Me and Shinso aren't exactly going to do very guest-like things if you know what I'm saying. On Friday's his parents are out and that's when we… You know."

"Make out?"

"Hehe! Yeah, and other things. Hmm, I'd give you Mina and Sero's number but, they have a study group with Yaoyorozu and wouldn't dare to pick up. And Jiro plays in the music club after school… No they'd all be busy on a Friday," Kaminari rubbed his chin and hummed softly before snapping his fingers, "I got it. Bakugou is one of my close-knit friends, he's always free no matter what. I know that much."

"Bakugou? Bakugou Katsuki? The one who didn't show up to class?"

"He might not show up to class but he always shows up to school."

Kirishima furrowed his brow, "I don't quite understand. Why show up to school when you don't show up to class?"

"He's a complicated guy," Kaminari's phone began to buzz. Kaminari already knew who it was, so he began to rush himself, "Um you're going to walk up the stairs pass the cafeteria okay? It's a bit of a walk but you're going to want to go all the way up to the roof. That's where he'll be."

"Why would he be up there? How do you know he's there?"

"Like I said, complicated. And if he's not in class on a school day, thats where he goes," Kaminari checked his phone and started to type out a message No more eye contact, "Sorry, I gotta get going," Kaminari started to shake his phone and walk away "Oh, and he'll probably be really pissed off when he sees you come up there, just a warning."

"Pissed?!" Kirishima shouted as Kaminari walked off, "Should I still go up there if he's just going to be mad?!"

"If you want company he's your best bet! I'll see you tomorrow, Kirishima!"

Kaminari waved, as if he were setting sail to another island instead of the bus. Kirishima shyly waved back. He wished he could make such a strong impact like that. Kirishima wished a whole lot of things that he knows, will probably never happen for him. Kirishima watched until Kaminari became a small, blurry ball in the distance and turned back towards the school, entering it once more. This time with his own direction, and an idea of where he was going.

Pass the cafeteria, up the stairs all the way to the top. How dumb.

Dumb because someone who wouldn't come to class, but would come to school anyway, was a real asshole. But also one of the powerfullest moves Kirishima had ever heard of. He halfway hoped that once he climbed up those stairs that Bakugou would have enough of that to share. That he would pull off a piece of his stomach, finally Kirishima would really have some guts and be able to use them. It was quiet in the halls. Peaceful, bringing back the silent nights while staying up late in the hospital. Since he was meek, and not rambunctious like the others, he could stay up silently with knitting nurses. Watching long movies with too many commercial breaks. The blue lights reflecting on his face, and soft pajama bottoms for his hands to nestle in. Sometimes he wished those nights would never end there. Some days he wished he never made it to the night.

Kirishima shook his head and noticed that somehow while lost in thought he made it to the stairs and began to stomp up them. He needed to shake those memories. Because we live in the present, while he lives in the past. No one wants to be left in the past, just to never change again. That would be absolutely terrifying. As Kirishima went up the stairs, he really wished that Kaminari would have pointed him towards an elevator than stairs. He's not the brightest but he was the most conscious. Kirishima's lips parted, as his breathing became harder. He wouldn't pant, that would be embarrassing even when no one was here, Kirishima would know it happened. It didn't take too much longer to reach a door with a sign that said Staff Only.

Another asshole move, but another power move. Kirishima didn't know if he already hated, or loved this guy. His hand snaked around the metal, it was cool to the touch. No stiffness but his hand wouldn't turn. He was worried. Worried that this was all a mistake, and if it was, he'd have to call his mother, and tell her that he wanted to fall off the face of the Earth. That it's actually much harder to meet people and not completely hate yourself and worry about every move. If that happened, Kirishima would land right back into the past. Kirishima's lips tended up, he breathed heavily through his nose and flung open the door.

He stood in the doorway. His black bangs began to lift as a breeze came by. The smell of cigarette smoke brushed under his nostrils. His face felt hot because he knew he should have opened the door much quicker, mostly due to the pale blonde figure in front of him. He stood mighty, right on the edge of the roof. He had done this before, never fearing falling because of the nerves-of-steel he must have been born with. He finally turned his head back at Kirishima. If looks could kill, Kirishima would be dead in his shoes. A cigarette hanging between his lips, soon his teeth would clench the filter. Red eyes the color of cherry, a color you could pluck and eat, creamy skin with a milky dew, and a body that would never budge. Kirishima had never seen anyone more terrifying in his life.

Kirishima tensed up immediately, cat had his tongue tight. After a moment, Bakugou raised an eyebrow, he took a drag of his cigarette and afterwards ashed it.

"Who the hell are you, huh?"

Voice like thunder, clapping against Kirishima's ears. Kirishima licked his lips.

"Are you… Bakugo Katsuki?"

"I asked who you were, not if you knew me. Tell me, dammit, before you ask any questions."

"I'm um… I'm Kirishima Eijiro. I'm the new student in your class. You are in 1-A, right?" Kirishima said, noticing that Bakugou gave no reaction to what he said. The introduction didn't help, "I'm a new friend of Kaminari. He told me you'd be up here."

Bakugou clicked his tongue, "That dumbass. Well, he wasted his time with sending a complete stranger to tell me to stop smoking and being up here. Tell him I'm not bitin'."

"Oh, no, no, he doesn't want you to come down or stop smoking or anything like that. He actually left for the train not too long ago. I… wanted to meet you kinda," Kirishima leaned his body over and pointed to Bakugou's cigarette, "Do you have any of those to s-share?"

Bakugou's top lip pulled up, eyebrows raised, "I don't even know you. What would make you think I would I want to meet someone new? Are you stupid or somethin'?"

"Kaminari said you're always available," Kirishima dropped his backpack as if he was going to stay awhile on the pavement of the roof and walked towards Bakugou, "Can I get one?"

"You've just met me, and now you want to ask _me_ for _my_ things? Bold of you." Bakugou sneered.

"Thank you," Kirishima breathed out. That was the nicest thing anyone had told him in a while, "Are you going to let me bum one or not? Cigarettes are for sharing, that's why they give you more than one."

Bakugou rolled his eyes and dug into his deep pockets. He pulled out his pack and tossed it much harder than he had to. Kirishima stumbled with catching the pack, probably losing that bold not-complement earlier. He flipped open the flap, half of the pack was empty, a lighter tucked away in the corner.

"Only take one. You take two, you die. And don't stay up here long."

Kirishima stuck a cigarette between his lips, he flicked the lighter a few times till a flame would appear. He breathed in and took a smooth drag. He hummed softly, it felt so good. He breathed out, letting a quiet sigh go. Bakugou looked at him like a crazy person for feeling such a way for smoking. He rubbed the back of his neck and started to walk closer towards Bakugou.

"I haven't had one in awhile. I forgot how good these tasted. " Kirishima held out the pack. Bakugou sat on the edge of the building, feet dangling, "Here. And thanks."

Bakugo took his pack and shoved it back in his pocket. Kirishima knew that Bakugou wouldn't say 'you're welcome', "Why haven't you had one in awhile?"

Kirishima sat down as well. Not off the edge like Bakugou, "I'm not the place where I used to smoke a lot."

"Where were you?"

"Somewhere I no longer want to ever go again."

"Tsk, what a shit answer," Bakugou muttered under his breath and took another drag, "Is that why you ended up here?"

"Yeah…" Kirishima said, he inhaled more smoke and breathed out through his nose.

Kirishima started to feel more looser. It might have been the nicotine and the memories it brought back to him. Times when, in the situation he was in, he was the most stable out of the group. Maybe Bakugou did give him a small piece of his intestine while he wasn't looking.

"Do you want to hang out at my place?" Kirishima asked.

"What would make you think I'd waste anytime with you?"

"Cause you have nothing better to do."

Bakugou blankly stared off, Kirishima almost wanted to find what guided his eyes into space. But the answer was nothing, there was no focus out there with all those buildings and little people on the street. Because Kirishima was right. Why go to class when you already know all the answers if there was no challenge? But really, why go to school? Because there's nowhere else to be. Kirishima made his own power move and it filled him with joy.

"How far?"

"Twenty minutes by train and bus."

"Train?"

"Train."

Bakugou rolled his eyes and groaned. Kirishima exhaled smoke.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"I won't repeat myself. Don't push it."

"Okay."

They smoked two more cigarettes before leaving even though Bakugou mentioned Kirishima could only have one. It was quiet, which was rather funny. No conversation. It was a scene that made the two feel a certain way. Neither one of them could read how they felt about it, though.


	2. Lonely Conversations

**Hey guys! New chapter! I hope you guys are enjoying the story. Favorites and reviews would be very nice and helpful! There is talks of suicide in this chapter so if that triggers you in anyway, you have been warned. I don't own MHA or the characters used. Enjoy!**

_9.3_

_It felt distant, you know?_

_Just meeting someone and then inviting them over, it felt very connection less. For whatever reason, I didn't give myself any time to warm up to Bakugou. I just dove in head first and the thing is, he let me do it. And he's not like that in anyway. He went along with going home with a stranger. The worst part about that is I wanted to know more. What makes it even worse is that he wants to do the same with me, and that scares me slightly. I don't want to screw anything up like I always do… What I feel like I always do. Since he's been over, he's come to my house three times. We barely exchange words. What does it mean? To see someone and not have a conversation with them?_

"Is that a question for me?" Ms Kayama asked.

Kirishima looked up from his lap, Ms Kayama was finished reading his journal entries and finally saw something worth talking about. Ms Kayama was Kirishima's therapist, but with a body like hers, he wondered what drew her to this kind of work. Long dark hair that curved down to her back, stunning long legs, flat tummy, blue- oceanic eyes, and breasts that bounced and kept its shape. Absolutely gorgeous _and _brilliant. It wasn't fair for her to exist with the rest of us.

"I don't remember asking you a question in any of the entries. Did I?"

"I quote," Her finger guided the words, " '_What does it mean? To see someone and not have a conversation with them?'_ It sounds very psychological to me"

"Oh. Well it wasn't supposed to come off like that."

Ms Kayama pushed her glasses up on her head, "What's this Bakugou person like?"

"Can't we talk about Kaminari instead? Or Mina? Anyone else I've mentioned, please?"

"I already know about them from what you told me last time and in the journal entries before. This is the first time you've brought up this Bakugou person."

Kirishima sighed and rubbed his face, "He's… I don't know. He's intimidating. Not much of a talker. He gets rather mad easily. Calls people names just out of nowhere. He's you know… kinda… hmmm"

"He's an asshole." Ms Kayama said. Cursing was usually an average thing with her.

Kirishima shrugged, "Sure, I guess."

"You sound uncertain. Like you don't believe me when I tell you that."

"I said 'sure' didn't I?"

"'Sure' does not mean a 'yes'" Ms Kayama crossed her legs, closing the journal and placing it on her lap, "With how you described him, I would think you'd agree."

"I guess I don't fully know him enough to agree with you."

"You wrote he's come over three times to your house. Surely I think you have gotten to know him, even if he doesn't talk to you that much. You seem like well acquainted people ."

"No… no it can't be true."

"Why's that? You've made friends very easily, much easier than what your previous doctor wrote. What makes you so sure that Kaminari, Mina, and Sero are your friends, but Bakugou isn't?"

What a dumb question. Dumb only because Kirishima didn't know how to answer it. So now he wanted to try and avoid it. Kirishima stayed quiet and didn't make eye contact. He now picked strangers hair off the armchair of the couch. A bloody velvet red color, something that you'd find in an old porno that has age so roughly, it would be considered art. Kirishima simply shrugged and put one knee to his chest on the couch.

"You know. I think he is your friend," Ms Kayama said, "I think he's actually one of your better friends."

"How come?" Kirishima muttered, watching a strand fall to the ground.

"I think just his presents is enough for you. And you can't quite understand why that is because he won't talk to you as much as the others. You found people who were different than the others and now that Bakugou is someone you've never met before, it throws you off," Ms Kayama leaned forward, "I want to try something, okay?"

"Shoot."

"Tell me all the things you like about Bakugou so far. These don't have to be descriptions like you did before. They can be actions he does, sayings he says, anything that comes to mind that makes you think is very nice about Bakugou."

"Why are we doing this?" Kirishima asked, not thinking the question through, "I mean really, aren't you supposed to talk about _me?_ Not the people I meet but the standard '_How are you doing? What's new? Have you been turning to substance abuse. And have you tried to kill yourself since the last time we met?' _You know? Regular questions."

Ms Kayama sighed. Not like she was disappointed, but that her point wasn't getting across Kirishima. She took her glasses off her head and from her low cut button up, she pulled a piece of cloth from between her bosoms and started to clean the lenses.

"I think that you're very good at reading people. I think that with your borderline personality disorder and your self esteem issues that it has become a full time job trying to make sense of other people. I believe your relationships make you who you are," she held her glasses up to the light and then continued, "And I think trying to understand Bakugou and why he wants to be with someone like _you _has gotten under your skin. Am I right?"

Kirishima licked his lips and looked at Ms Kayama, like an adult. Like someone who wasn't scared.

"You want me to say yes, right?" Kirishima chuckled, that earned him a smile from Ms Kayama, "I think it's nice that… Bakugou is very smart."

"Very good. And what else?"

"He's very loud?"

"Mmhm, what's so nice about him being loud?"

"He can control a room with his voice I guess. Kaminari was making horrible jokes yesterday and all of a sudden Bakugou yelled, '_Enough dumbass, you're not funny'. _The whole classroom was quiet after that. Me Aizawa likes the fact he didn't have to calm the class down before he taught."

"Sounds like a very controlling person."

"Yeah," Kirishima breathed. He scratched his cheek and chuckled, "Yeah he just… he just doesn't care, you know? He has an ego the size of Japan itself. He just knows he's number one so he does as he pleases, gets whatever he wants because it's what _he_ wants. He walks the Earth as if he's the best one to ever be born. Heh, it's so.. so… ugh, I don't know how to explain it."

"You like that about him," Ms Kayama confessed, "You like the fact that he does what he wants. That's why you're overthinking him wanting to know you more by going to your house frequently and that he doesn't talk to you that much. You're afraid you won't be able to tell what he wants from you."

Kirishima blinked a few times, hands in his lap like a young child unintentionally. Everything she said sounded about right, but now Kirishima had to apply it to himself. It took a minute to soak in until he finally believed her. In the end, it was the truth.

"It's hard you know? I don't know if I like the guy or if I want to _be _him. I never really knew what I truly am with all my issues anyway but… I just know when I see Bakugou just not caring about what others think. And how he never second guesses himself, it's something to look up to…"

"You want to know yourself as well as he knows him."

"Yeah…" Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck, "It's something I need to really work on."

"Just work on those techniques I told you about and keep writing in your journal. It's helped me understand you a lot more. Hopefully you'll get to know the Kirishima I know," Ms Kayama sweetly smiled, she looked at her watch and handed back Kirishima his journal. She stood up, Kirishima followed her lead, "Times up. See you same time next week?"

"Same time, yeah," Kirishima playfully shot a finger gun at and Ms Kayama. Something he thought she would consider joyous, "Thank you."

"Pleasure is all mine," Kirishima started to head towards the door. Ms Kayama crosses her arms and popped out her hip, "Have a good day and tell that Bakugou boy he has a nice speaking voice."

Kirishima turned To look over his shoulder, "You've never even heard his voice before."

"I didn't say tell him for me. I just told you to do it."

Silence. The door creaked open.

"Goodbye, Ms Kayama."

"Goodbye, Kirishima."

—-

Bakugou has his feet propped on the table. His left arm reaching on the back of the couch, sinking into the cushions as his other hand held a cigarette to his lips. Ash starting to form rather largely on the end. Kirishima sat on the floor, on the coffee table was an open workbook and in his lap was a notebook. He looked focus, his finger on his bottom lip as he scanned the page. He looked up and saw Bakugou looking down at him… Again.

"You sure you finished all your homework?"

"Mmm."

"Seems rather quick, huh? Mr Aizawa assigned five pages of work today and you're telling me you already did it all?"

"Mmm."

Kirishima sighed, "Not much of a work session then if I'm the only one doing anything."

"Then shut up and finish your work."

Kirishima bit his lip, rolled his tongue in his mouth, and finally shook his head. He took the notebook off of his lap, "What's your deal?" Kirishima said, bluntly and with full confidence, "You come to my house, you sit in that same position, smoke your cigarettes, and watch me work every single time. You have yet to have a full conversation with me, but you just keep coming. Why?"

"I don't have to explain anything to you."

"You kind of do, Bakugou," Kirishima stood up, forcing Bakugou to lean back and look upon him. He crossed his arms, "It's my house and… And if you don't have a conversation with me right now you can leave… A-and you won't be able to come back until you've talked to me."

Bakugou tilted his head, a glaring look on his face. He didn't want to be told something he didn't want to do. He tapped out his cigarette into an empty soda can. His legs spread apart much wider as he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

"Start talkin' then." Bakugo sneered.

Kirishima jumped back. He didn't know that his empty threat would actually work. It must have been believable, or perhaps the confidence was actually true. Kirishima's stanced relaxed. He decided to take up the small amount of space Bakugou wasn't in knees tightly together, shoulders up high.

"Maybe… start with small talk?"

"I thought you wanted a _conversation_."

"I do, but I just need to ease us both into it. Give me a cigarette."

"Soon I'm gonna have to start chargin' you for these fuckers."

Bakugou gave Kirishima a hard time, but in the end he popped a cigarette from his pack and handed it to Kirishima. Kirishima put it to his lips and Bakugou lit it for him. That was something that was routine in their strange acquaintanceship. Kirishima breathed out smoke."

"What's your favorite color?"

"Stupid question. Orange."

"It's not stupid. Mine's red."

"Didn't ask."

"Do you really want to get kicked out of my house?"

"Keep talkin' then."

Kirishima hummed, "Favorite school subject?"

"... English."

"Really? That's interesting."

"What's so interesting about that huh?" Bakugou asked. Finally, he understood the back and forth conversation, "You thought I'd like math because I'm so good at it."

"You're good at everything," Kirishima took another smooth drag. He turned his head to the side to breathe out smoke. But out of the corner of his eye he could see Bakugou still staring at him, "I'm surprised because when we have discussion you never say anything."

"Why contribute? Just so _they _can understand what's goin' on? They should learn for themselves."

Kirishima chuckled. He put his hand on his cheek and smiled a real smile for once. The smoke tickled his nose. It was funny. Funny because Bakugou didn't want anyone to know the right answers he had in a subject that is highly known for _no wrong answers. _What an ironic way of thinking. Bakugou stubbed out his cigarette and started to sit more comfortably in Kirishima's close presents.

"Are you going to ask me what my favorite subject is?" Kirishima asked.

"No."

"I'll tell you anyway. I think I like history the best. I like knowing about important people in the past."

"Whatever."

"Hm. You know what, I think it's your turn to ask some questions now."

"Not part of the deal."

"There is no deal, Bakugou. It's my house, my rules. I can change whatever I want."

Kirishima was now using tactics Ms Kayama taught him. _Let them know you won't be pushed around. Really think about what you want to say, if you fumble, you'll think they won't take you as seriously. Then you'll crumble, you're the crumbling type. Make them know that you have the ability to be in charge. You're not being bossy, you're being tough._ He knew that Bakugou didn't like that much. It made his face scrunch up, his cheeks become red in frustration. But Kirishima knew he had the attitude to walk out whenever he was over it. So why didn't he leave in the beginning? What kept him so invested? At the moment, Kirishima was having fun. Bakugou's fists balled up, just for a moment and then they unclenched.

"Favorite… movie?" Bakugou grumbled.

"Hmm… I think it would have to be _Kill Bill. _It has a really good story and its action packed," Kirishima pulled punches in the air. Bakugou was not amused as expected, "What about you."

"Don't have one."

"You're a liar. There's no way that's true. Everyone has a favorite movie."

"Not me."

"Bakugou."

Kirishima bumped his shoulder a few times against Bakugou's, nothing came of that. He jumped on the thought of poking his cheek. His skin felt gritty, it seemed that Bakugou was able to shave. The jaw was very tense, soon Bakugou's flesh became hot. He slapped Kirishima's hand away.

"Knock it off already, God you're so annoying," that would have crushed Kirishima _if _Bakugou ended his sentence there, "My favorite movie is… _Bambi-_"

"_Bambi_?!"

"Tell anyone and you will die." There was truth behind that threat.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That was just very unexpected. What makes you like that movie so much?"

Bakugou groaned and rubbed his face, "I like the art style, the music is really soothing and I like when Bambi and his friends grow up and they end up fucking the girl animals."

"Bambi and friends don't fuck those girls."

"They didn't show it but I know they did it. I thought it was funny when I was younger."

Kirishima smiled, he chuckled quietly, "How cute… Your turn."

"Again?"

"Again."

Bakugou's eyes narrowed. This time he was really thinking. He wanted to think of a question that he really wanted an answer to.

"Why are you here?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"Don't be an ass, I'm being serious. This is what you wanted right? A dumb conversation? Well now I'm ready to have one. So what are you doing here?"

Kirishima slowly licked his bottom lip. He rubbed his face a few times before his palm covered his mouth. He shook his head.

"No." Kirishima muttered.

"No? What do you mean _no?" _Bakugou's voice started to raise, "You can't just tell me I have to talk to you and then just shut down a topic I want to talk about."

"I said no, Bakugou."

"That's not fair, this isn't how this works. You can't just change like that."

"Just drop it…"

"No, I deserve an answer you bastard."

"Why are _you _here, huh?!" Kirishima stood up from his seat. His face flushed, eyes wide. Actually feeling frustrated in an awful way for once, "You didn't even want to talk to me while you were here, hell when you met me you didn't even want me to be around you. So why do you keep coming back here?! Just to screw with me?"

"Hey don't you start yellin' at me," Bakugou also got up. Kirishima should have known he had the guts to come chest to chest with him which is what Bakugou ended up doing. His nose almost touching Kirishima's. He tried to keep his face the same, but Kirishima's fists started to shake. He would force himself to stick up to Bakugou, even if it scared him, "You're the one who wanted me to come here the first day you met me. Remember? Or do you have shit for brains?"

Kirishima breathed out hard. There was no way he could win this. No way that he could triumph over Bakugou's energy. He had to make it seem like he was putting up a fight, he knew for the sake of his self esteem, he had to still get some kind of answer from Bakugou.

"If you tell me why, I'll tell you," Kirishima calmly said, "I won't break this deal. It's a promise- pinky promise. I won't go back on the deal."

Kirishima held out his pinky, a look of determination on his face. Bakugou took a step back and crosses his arms. He huffed and locked his finger with Kirishima. Kirishima nodded, he put his hand on Bakugou's arm and pulled him back down on the couch. Sitting back in their same positions, same distance. Bakugou licked his lips and turned his head to the side.

"That day when you came up to the roof. I was so pissed off at you because you asked for one of my cigarettes. And it pissed me off even more because you knew that made me mad… But I gave you one anyway. I didn't want to give you one, I wanted you to leave the moment I saw you come up. Instead I went to your house. Tch, just thinkin' about it pisses me off. I don't like much about any person, that includes you."

"Ouch."

"Shut up and let me finish," Bakugou sneered, "You broke me. I couldn't say no to you, the fact that I'm tellin' you all of this means that I still can't say no to you.I should just leave here but I'm not. I don't know what it is but, I like being around you, around someone for once."

"You just don't know how to talk to people…" Kirishima muttered. He started to chuckle, that chuckle started to become a laugh, "I can't believe this, all this time I thought you were screwing with me. I thought you were so complicated, like some higher being to fear. You just don't understand people."

"Fuck you, do too."

"No you don't. You can't even tell me that you want to be my friend," Kirishima poked his chest. Learning this knew information made Bakugou seem more soft than he actually was, "You're just like the rest of us."

"You callin me an idiot? And I _don't _like you."

" Yes you do. You like me enough, anyway. I can see it now. I'm calling you socially awkward… who would have known that someone like you, who's so smart, fit, and good looking could have a flaw like that. I should have known you had an Achilles' heel."

"Don't call me all those things. Don't say all that shit about me. Next time, keep your thoughts to yourself," Bakugou muttered, his lips were tight together, "Alright, I said my part. Now it's you turn."

Kirishima took a big breath. It's was time for his truth to be said. He just hoped that if he confessed the reason why he was here it would in someway set him free. He thought that was unlikely though and would soon make a regression instead of progression.

"Well, since you did so well, I guess I have to."

"Don't talk to me like I'm a fuckin' child now that I've told you that. Get on with it."

Kirishima breathily laughed. Maybe it would make him feel better telling him.

"So um, about a year ago I um… I think the doctors said I had a nervous breakdown from over reacting about so stupid things," He wouln't go any further with what those _things _were, "So I uh….I um, I tried to kill myself by taking a bunch of pills from the medicine cabinet but that obviously didn't work. I was bad enough that the doctors told my mom it would probably be best if I got some long term mental help."

"You were in a mental hospital?"

It was nice Bakugou breezed over the suicide part.

"I mean, yeah. We just called it an institution to make us feel better. And I stayed there for about six months maybe, and they cleared me under a few conditions. That I'd see a therapist, have a phone call check ins with the institutions' doctor, and that I'd leave my current environment. It wasn't good for me, and so my mom thought I could handle it on my own. She found a cheap apartment and a good school and… that's why I'm here now. Because I'm a mentally ill loser who needs a new start. Satisfied?"

Bakugou nodded. He reached for his pack on the table and pat a cigarette into his hand. He popped it into his mouth and lit the end. Kirishima raised an eyebrow, he scooted closer towards Bakugou.

"That's all? Just a nod? I tell you that I came here because I was in a mental hospital for six months after trying to kill myself and that's all you do?"

Bakugou shrugged and took a drag. His hands shook a bit for some reason. "What is there to say? You want me to ask if you're okay? There's no point. We both got what we wanted so we shouldn't talk about it anymore."

Kirishima furrowed his brow. He shook his head, dissatisfied with that answer, "No, no. That's not right… your hand?" He muttered

"Look, if you were waiting for the perfect time to tell someone about this type of thing you should have done this twenty question shit with Kaminari or something. I thought you concluded that communication was not my strong suit." It pained Bakugou to even admit that, but he still fessed up to it when he didn't have to. He shouldn't have let that slipped.

"I wish you _would_ have left when I brought up the idea of a conversation." Kirishima breathed.

Bakugou clicked his tongue, "No you don't," Bakugou held out his cigarette. He motioned Kirishima to part-take. _Sharing, _"You're just saying that because you're mad about how I reacted."

"Wow, you sound civilized for once." Kirishima said and took a puff of Bakugou's cigarette. He could taste Bakugou's breath. _Pepper_.

"Fuck off, I'm tellin' you the truth."

"I know… I just wish that… that you could be the comforting type. God I'm so dumb, I should have never started this in the first place. Stupid, stupid!" Kirishima buried his face in his hands. He felt a rush of anxiety, his actions were now finally hitting him.

He should have known he wasn't ready to say that yet. In his head, Kirishima's thoughts were nonstop. All of them saying, screaming over each other he had done the wrong thing, that he said the wrong thing, and that his life was in fact wrong. He gripped his hair tightly, he bit his bottom lip hard. His whole body shook with regret, feet tapping with frustration. He wanted to find a place to curl up and die, and while thinking all these horrible things, he also thought of how embarrassing it was to look so anxious in front of Bakugou now. He heard a shuffle on the couch, he didn't lift up his head. Kirishima felt an arm around his back and a hand close to his stomach. His eyes peeked behind his hands. Bakugou pat Kirishima's shoulder.

"There… there." Bakugou muttered to the side. Kirishima looked up at Bakugou and sniffled, he didn't say anything, "I know that what you said was very important to you. I really do know that and I'm not good at this sort of thing. Just stop freakin' out on me or else I know I'll have to leave and I don't want to. So… knock it off, alright?"

Kirishima's eye started to feel dry. His body still trembled slightly, but that might have been because of Bakugou's arms around him, comfortingly. He wrapped his hand around Bakugou's forearm, it felt so tense and hard. So _warm._

Kirishima's lips parted, "Do you like me?"

"What kind of dumbass question is that?! And I thought I said I _don't _like anybody."

"Shut up and tell me the truth," Kirishima's grip tighter around Bakugou's arm, "Do you like me."

"... Yes, moron."

Kirishima nodded and let himself sink into Bakugou's arms. A human moment, a moment Kirishima had been craving for. A real moment that finally seemed to matter at his whole time being here. It was worth it, to go through this pain, to have complexity to his life. This one moment. This first time.

"I like you too."

"Didn't ask."

"Wanted you to know… I want you to stay here."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

_Easy._

"You have… you have a very nice voice."

"Stop talkin' already."

_Thanks for reading. Follow, favorite, and reviewed. It helps me out a lot. See you next time_


	3. Horrible Name

**Hey guys! New chapter is up and I hope you like it as much as I do. I do not own MHA nor the characters being used. Enjoy!**

_9.10_

_Weird_

_It's strange now. All very strange. I keep meeting new people in my class. I've been introduced to them all but now, they all actually want to get to know me. Today I got to talk to Uraraka and Midoriya again. They're still both very sweet, but Midory said something, I think he was telling me a story from his childhood and Bakugou rudely interrupted him and said, 'God don't you ever shut up, Deku?'. Midoriya stopped talking, only for a second before Uraraka comforted him. Deku? What was that? A pet name? An actual __**nickname**__? That just… rubbed me the wrong way. Midoriya then invited me to a small get together he was having at his house, all of my classmates would be there. I'm going to go to it but, it would be sad to go alone. Even with everyone I know there._

It was still hot out. Some of the flowers had been too stubborn to die off yet so there was still a pop of color. There was sweat on his brow, a thin veil. Kirishima had slinked his hand through an open staircase of an ice cream shop, he pulled all the brown grass from a small patch on the ground. He did this while sucking on a cherry popsicle that Kaminari offered to buy him. Kaminari has his knees up high, his blue popsicle in his mouth as his elbows were propped on his legs until the juice started to come out from the corner of his mouth. Kaminari loudly slurped before taking it out of his mouth, feeling refreshed, he licked his lips and grinned.

"Nice to have one of these on a hot day, huh?" Kaminari said.

Kirishima nodded and let the grass fall from his palm. He joined the conversation, "Yeah,it's real nice. Thanks for buying."

"No problem," Kaminari held out his dripping popsicle, he waved it in Kirishima's face, "You wanna try some of mine?"

"No thanks."

"Okay," Kaminari hummed, "Can I try some of yours?"

Kirishima raised an eyebrow, "Have you never tried cherry before?" He asked

"I want a little change, or else I'll get sick of blue raspberry. Just a little lick, please? I did buy it."

"For me. Do you know how much authority you have over something once you give it to them?" Kirishima held out his popsicle, Kaminari leaned over and took a few licks. Kirishima saw that Kaminari's hand was sticky.

Kaminari leaned back, grinning as he licked the melting blue juice off of his palm. They were both still in their school uniform, Kirishima was surprised that Kaminari hadn't dripped anything on to his shirt.

"I saw you talking to Deku today," Kaminari began, "Did he invite you to the party tonight?"

"He said it was a get-together. Like a kickback."

"Yeah, I only told him to tell it to you like that so you'd come along. I'm guessing you agreed." Kaminari giggled.

"Are you only telling me that to fuck with me?"

"Come on, Kirishima, I know you're kinda shy around big groups of people. I know a party idea would kind of turn you off. But I want you to be there. All you ever do is stay cooped up in your house."

"I like my house, I thought you liked coming over and drinking beers at my house with no parents around." Kirishima took a bite of his popsicle. The coolness took over his mouth and gums.

"Believe me, I love getting wasted without worrying if my mom will see my head in the toilet, but sometimes those risks are half the fun. And _you _need to have a good time with everyone."

Kirishima sighed, he ran his fingers through his bangs, "You're lucky I'm no flake," There's no way his brain would ever go back on going to a social event. It would give him a bad wrap, "I'll still go tonight it's just… I don't have anyone to bring."

"Everyone's gonna be there already, dummy. There's no one you have to bring."

"Shinso is bringing you, Sero is bringing Mina, Jiro is bringing Yayaroza. Etc, etc. You all are going to come together at the same time. I'll just be coming in... all alone. I'll have to wait for someone to know I'm there."

Kaminari leaned his head back and whistled, "God, you're an over thinker. Is that what's always going on in that brain of yours," Kaminari poked Kirishima's temple, "If you're so worried about it just ask someone to come along with you. Oh! I actually have some numbers of cute girls from class B that might go with you. That sounds good, right?"

Kirishima quietly groaned, his cheeks turned red a little, "No, I can't embarrass myself in front of girls."

"Who said you were going to embarrass yourself? You haven't even met them yet. You have no clue who I'm even talking about other than what class they're in."

"Says me. I don't want them to think I want to… you know?"

"Fuck them?"

"Wha- no! Like, kiss them and hold hands and stuff. I don't want them to get the wrong idea and I just know that they'll think it's a date."

Kaminari sighed and shook his head. That couldn't have been a good sign, "You're hopeless," it wasn't, "You can't be so afraid of things like this."

"I know…"

Kaminari put his hand on Kirishima's shoulder, "You should ask Bakugou to the party." How unexpected.

"I think Midoriya already asked him, I believe I heard him say '_eat shit' _to him."

"He said that to Deku, not you."

_Deku. _Why'd they all have to call him that? Why did Bakugou have to say it first?

"I think he just wanted to stay over at my house."

"Alone?"

Kirishima shrugged, "Well yeah, he likes being there. Sometimes when he skips he just hangs out at my house now."

"Does he have a key?"

Kirishima nodded. Kaminari started to laugh, he put his palm on his cheek. It was a '_I couldn't believe this' _kind of laugh, sweet, but lacked any real flavor.

"God, get a room will you. Ask him. If anyone can convince him to go, it's you."

Kirishima clicked his tongue, "I can barely make him start a conversation," not true anymore, "What makes you think I can make him go to a party he doesn't want to go to."

Kaminari rolled his eyes, he finished off the rest of his popsicle, "You know how stubborn Bakugou is. Yet I've seen you walk home with him, I've seen you bum cigarettes off of him, I've seen him score beers for you, and now I know that he comes to your house while you're not there. He finds comfort in you, something that's extremely hard for him ever since I've known him. I know you can do it," Kaminari stood up, he teased Kirishima's hair, "I got to start going. I need to get ready. You should too. Bakugou as well."

"He won't bite, Kaminari."

"I think you can change his mind."

"Why do you have so much faith in me?"

Kaminari put his hands in his pants pockets and grinned at Kirishima. "Because your his best friend. I'll see you later, Kirishima."

Kaminari walked away. Kirishima was left confused as the pale sun hit his skin, making him feel all warm and fuzzy. He tucked his hair behind his ear. He couldn't be a best friend if he didn't have a nickname. But Kaminari wouldn't lie about something like that. He didn't have the ability to. Kirishima noticed his popsicle had become a red puddle on the concrete stairs. That made him feel bad. He was going to feel worse if he couldn't convince Bakugou to come along with him.

—

"Which one? The strip long shirt, or the black sweater?" Kirishima ask, holding two hangers with the designating clothing items, comparing how they would look with his bare chest.

"Who cares? You still have an hour before you have to leave for this dumb party."

"I think I like the black best," Kirishima turned around. Looking at an unenthused Bakugou on the edge of his bed, pressing the sweater to his stomach, "Will you agree with me so I can finally get dressed and stop annoying you?"

"Black looks good."

"Thank you."

Kirishima smiled at Bakugou and took the sweater off the hanger. He pulled it over his head and looked in front of his standing mirror. The soft black sweater went along with his dark purple jeans. They fit his legs well, and the big sweater would perhaps show a gentle side he knew he had. Everyone else needed to know about it too. He smiled at himself, he felt good. It felt nice to be dressed up and somewhere to be. The party idea had started to grow on him.

"You look like an e-boy." Bakugou said, crossing his arms.

"Bite me, I look really nice I think." Kirishima straightened out his sweater.

"I didn't say it was a bad look."

Kirishima looked down and smirked. That meant he liked it. He turned his head to look behind his shoulder at Bakugou. Bakugou has his knuckles against his chin while his head was to the side. His eyebrows narrowed like he had something to be mad about. He looked like that since he came to Kirishima's home.

"You should come along with me. Kaminari said it'll be fun."

"Not a chance," Bakugou muttered, "I told you if you stayed here tonight you'd have a better time than being there."

"You didn't show me nor tell me anything that would prove we'd have fun here," Kirishima put his hands on his hips, "We do the same thing every time you're here. We talk, we drink, we watch a movie, then you go home. Where's the fun?"

"Stay and see."

"Come with me and see," Kirishima walked over and put his hands on Bakugou's thighs, leaning close to him, face to face, "Please? I don't want to show up there alone."

Then, Bakugou said something very hurtful. And he truly meant it.

"Your fears are pathetic."

Kirishima's mouth got dry. He pulled his hands away. A sour expression came across his face, "You're a real asshole sometimes," Kirishima mumbled as he stomped away towards a pair of shoes, "I ask for one small thing and you can't do it."

"God, you're acting like we're married to each other-"

"We're friends aren't we?" Kirishima crossed his arms " If you were really my friend you'd go with me, that's right I'm doing _that_ to you."

"What are you a girl now?" Bakugou snarkily chuckled.

He got off of the bed, he put his hands in his pockets. Towering over Kirishima as he tried to keep his stance. He had taken off the jacket he came into the house with, revealing his toned arms in a dark blue muscle shirt. To stay calm, Kirishima started to analyze Bakugou's skin. A small nose, broad chest, and a mole on his shoulder.

"I think no one else will go with you and I'm your last choice."

"Not true. I like you, I like you better than anyone else. You're actually my first choice."

"... Really?" Bakugou said, surprised. He thought he had Kirishima pegged, but it was all wrong. That secretly made him glad, "Well… I'm still not going. Even if you like me more than everyone else… Do you really mean that? Even when I call you a dumb ass and yell at you? Come into your home without calling?"

Kirishima couldn't help but smile a little. He raised an eyebrow at the response. It finally sounded normal, his voice wasn't so grumbly and vicious. That had to be an admission that the attitude was sometimes a mask. Bakugou soon went back to his serious face, but Kirishima knew there was curiosity behind the look.

"You know, Kaminari said I was your best friend."

"And you're gonna believe that moron?"

"With your reaction, I think so," Kirishima presses his finger to Bakugou's chest playfully, "You're going to come to that party with me."

"Don't think so, bastard," Bakugou said, grabbing Kirishima's wrist, pulling his finger away, "You haven't changed my mind with all this stupid friend stuff."

"Fine, I want my house key back, then," Kirishima held out his hand, "Since I'm not your best friend, you won't mind not having access to my house when I'm not here."

It took a minute. Bakugou has already put the key on a chain. It was meant for keeping, and there was no way he'd pull out his keys just to show how much he actually cared. No, that be a weakness.

"I hate you." Bakugou growled.

"Start getting ready."

"There's still a lot of time."

"If I gave you that time, we'd get into another argument. I think I have some clothes that'll fit you that you can borrow."

"You don't… you don't have to do that, " Bakugou voice started to go quiet for once. He rubbed the back of his neck, "I already brought a change of clothes."

"Did yo-"

"No I didn't. Since it's a Friday I thought I'd stay the night over at your house. It had nothing to do with stupid Deku's party."

That name again. Kirishima hated that name.

—

Bakugou wore a pair of baggy jeans with a metal chain hooked to his belt loop and a light grey sweater that seemed a little too short. But nonetheless looked good, a kickback kind of good. He had brought his backpack with him, even though Kirishima said they wouldn't get fucked up enough to stay the night. He said it wasn't for staying the night. Kirishima said nothing. They didn't bother to knock on the door, they could feel the vibrations of the music as they stood outside.

"We came too late." Kirishima breathed.

"Takes me awhile to get dressed for things I don't want to go to."

"You're the worst sometimes."

"We still have a chance to ditch." Bakugou slily said.

"Can't. I'll be too self conscious if I don't show up now. They'll think I'm an asshole."

"You are an asshole. Turn the knob already."

"Give me a sec, Jesus." Kirishima muttered.

Bakugou groaned and grabbed the knob, flinging the door open and unleashing a loud roar of dance music, "Ridiculous." Bakugou stand to the side, Kirishima walked inside first.

Kirishima sighed heavy-hearted. He had no backbone when he really _really _wanted one. It wasn't fair that Bakugou had all the audacity a person could store in their body and then some. Kirishima wanted there to be enough bravery to go around. Or perhaps carry his only little Bakugou around in his pocket, then he would have the tiny bit of courage he wanted, then maybe it would stick to his clothing. He'd smell of fearlessness.

It didn't take long, but he realized that there was truth behind Bakugou saying Kirishima's fears were pathetic. Mostly because Kaminari pounced on him, his small arms draped over Kirishima's shoulders as he nuzzled in his warm neck.

"Kiri~ it took you long enough to show!" Kaminari sang, laughing a bit afterwards.

"I can tell, you already reek of booze," Kirishima awkwardly pat Kaminari's back, "Please let go, you're too warm."

"You're so mean Kirishima," Kaminari groaned and poked Kirishima's cheek, his cheeks puffed out, "No one ever complains about something stupid like that."

"Off him, shit head. Two seconds here and you're already annoying." Bakugou said.

"Both of you! Meanies!"

"Sorry, sorry, he's out of control," Shinso said, unenthused walked over, finally catching up with his boyfriend and grabbed Kaminari by the waist. Pulling him off, "You know how clingy he gets once he's had one too many."

Kaminari instantly cuddled against Shinso's side like an eager puppy. Shinso was the quiet serious type. He had an impressive poker face and a voice smooth as honey. It was calming and very reachable, a voice you wanted to call out on you so you could say something back. He had lavender color hair with a smell to match. Soft enough to sleep on which is rarely what he ever had. A diagnosed insomniac at the age of 10, who sadly began their _late nights _early on. Truly growing up too fast.

"You know I know that. He could barely keep his hands off of either one of us last time you came over," Kirishima held out his hand and Shinso shook back, "It's very nice to see you again, Shinso."

"Likewise," Shinso said, then looked at the stubborn blonde boy, almost close to man, "Bakugou."

"Fucker."

By the look on Shinso's face, no one would have known that Shinso expected a quip like that from Bakugou. But Kirishima could tell that if Shinso was into the light chuckle, he would have done it.

"Still mad that I got better test scores huh? Don't worry, getting a higher score than _you _in physics won't let me into your precious 1-A class."

"I know it won't. That pisses you off doesn't?"

It was obvious Bakugou wanted a reason to leave this place. Trying to trick Kirishima that Shinso's petty test score made him hostile. It made Kirishima some-what sad that Bakugou thought something like that would help his cause. He wondered if someone else showed up, what would Bakugou pretend to be pissed off about?

"Here," Kirishima grabbed Kaminari's wrist. He pushed him into Bakugou's chest where he instantly latched on, "Shinso, show me where the drinks are. Bakugou will keep Kaminari company."

"Ha-! You aren't leaving me with this little drunky!" Bakugou yelled, keeping his hands off of Kaminari's body as Kaminari rubbed his head against Bakugou's chest.

"Soft!" Kaminari chuckled

"Be good Kaminari, I'll be back in a second. Come on, Kirishima."

Shinso grabbed Kirishima's wrist, he could see the resentment in Bakugou's eyes. Kirishima hoped that is was because of how Shinso decided to lead the black hair young man, and not the fact he left him alone with someone he wanted no business with. Shinso lead him to a table with red cloth over it with an assortment of booze and ice buckets high schoolers hoped for at a party like this. Lots of beer and several big bottles of cheap vodka, most likely stolen from parents freezers and corrupted adults who told themselves they used to do the same thing, promoting bad choices to continue. Micro red-solo cups and an array of juices and colas. Dirty, unorganized, and traditional.

Kirishima reached out for two beers while Shinso grabbed a half empty bottle of vodka, grabbing two little cups.

"So, Kaminari tells me you're a writer."

Small talk. _Good_

"Oh, he's must have seen me write sometimes on the train ride home. I'm hardly a writer," Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck, "It's just a journal. No poetry, just… recalling."

Shinso poured the clear liquid into the cup like it was gold, "Well, that's all there really is to writing, don't you think? Memories are the best story we can ever make," it seemed like there should have been more enthusiasm in his voice, "I'm the president of the Creative Writing Club. We're the worst club whenever it comes to recruiting new members. No one ever wants to join, it's a lame club."

"If you're the recruiter I can see why. Your pitch is horrible."

"Our sponsor is Mr Yamada's and we meet in his classroom. It only lasts for about an hour. It's barely even a club."

"Yes, because all _barely clubs _have a club president and classroom sponsor."

"You'd be good. I can tell," Shinso held up one of the small cups, Kirishima could smell the nauseating liquid already, "You always look like you've got something to say."

Kirishima took the cup from his hand and knocked his own plastic cup against Kirishima's. Small talk was over.

"Cheers."

"Cheers."

They both knocked back the shot, Kirishima's nose wrinkled, his tongue popped out in response. Shinso simply wiped his lip before Kaminari hopped on Shinso's back, he made sure he had a hand gripping on his arm to make sure his boyfriend wouldn't fall off.

"Shinso, baby~!" Kaminari landed a bunch of kisses on Shinso's cheek.

"Bakugou didn't do such a good job keeping you busy huh?"

"Hehe- he got angry you two were taking so long."

"Did you think I was taking too long, baby?" Shinso asked, pulling Kaminari off his back and pressed him against the table. He then pressed his lips to Kaminari's neck, causing him to squeal.

"Now I do!"

Kirishima tried to avert his eyes from the scene, the two beers started to make his hands feel cold. He scanned the area to see if Bakugou stayed in the same place which, oddly he didn't. Kirishima raised an eyebrow and looked back at Kaminari.

"Hey, um, did you see where Bakugou went, Kaminari?" Kirishima asked

Kaminari's face turned towards Kirishima's direction, giving Shinso's head less room.

"I think he's looking for Deku."

"De- Midoriya? Why would he find him?"

Kaminari happily sighed and shrugged his shoulders as Shinso's hands ran down Kaminari's legs "No idea. Better go looking, eh?"

Kirishima chewed his cheek. He could take a hint, he started to wonder away from the table as the beers started to melt in his hands. Of course, few classmates would put their hand on Kirishima's shoulder and hit him with an opener.

"Hey, Kirishima! Did you just get here?" Sero asked

"Shima! Hey!" Mina announced with a hug.

"Took ya long enough, good playlist though, right?" Jiro said.

"Being late is unacceptable!" Iida said, disappointed.

"You look pale, are you alright, Kirishima?" Ausi asked.

None of these lines made him stay very long. Only long enough to reply properly. A yes here, a no there, a form of intimacy and then asking what direction they saw Bakugou in. Too many finger directions that only lead to another pointer. He was lost. He was lost in such a small house with a large crowd of people, maybe it was the pounding music that was making him lose his way, or the wet beers still in his palms. His eyes darted around the room until he spotted a puff of blonde and a splotch of green that seemed so distant but Kirishima knew it wasn't that far. Bakugou had his back turned while Midoryia's mouth moved, they were having a conversation, and by the looks of it, it wasn't an unfriendly reaming. Midoriya shot Bakugou a smile. A big smile, it was so light and airy, almost like his lips had a personality of its own. Kirishima made his way through the sea of people and bumped into Bakugou.

"Hey, guys. Finally found you." Kirishima tried friendly banter. He felt like they were going to stay awhile.

"Oh, hi Kirishima!" Midoriya waved his hand,"Glad you could make it, Bakugou was just saying-"

Bakugou whipped his head around, "Fucking finally, took you long enough," Bakugou said, grabbing Kirishima's wrist, "Come on."

It seemed like Midoriya already knew they were going to abruptly leave. It must have been nice to be childhood friends with such an arrogant person. You know and understand most of their moves and they don't bug you.

"Wha- hey, I thought we were talking to Midoriya."

"Now we're going."

"Going home?"

"No you dumbass, you're the one who dragged me here in the first place. Now I won't leave so easy." Bakugou said as he dragged Kirishima towards the stairs.

Bakugou gripped the banister and lead the way up.

"Hey, I don't think we're allowed to go up here, parties usually stay downstairs."

"Don't worry about it."

"Why are we even going up here?"

"Will you stop asking such stupid questions?" Bakugou sneered.

Bakugou opened what was suspected to be Midoriya's room. A door hanger hung that said _Izuku _in wooden letters. Bakugou pulled Kirishima into the room and instead of turning on the main light he turned on the lamp. Leaving the room with a pale filter, the room was filled with hero figures and posters all around the walls.

"Bakugou we should definitely not be in here. This is Midoriya's room."

"Yeah, I know, I can read too," Bakugou said and took off his back pack and put it on the bed, "Why do you still have those beers in your hands?"

"Cause we're drinking?"

"Not that shit," Bakugou walked over and took the beers out of Kirishima's hands and tossed them in trash bin by the door, "We're having what I brought."

"You brought booze with you?" Kirishima raised an eyebrow as he watched Bakugou rummage in his bag.

"I didn't bring _booze_ I brought wine. Red wine. I didn't bring any glasses. I thought you would have some regular ones at your house but… You see how that turned out."

"Wine? Why do you have wine?"

"Why do you keep asking so many goddamn questions. Can't you just accept things sometimes?"

Bakugou plopped down on the bed and pulled out the bottle. He place it between his legs as he grabbed a corkscrew from the bag and began to press it into the cork. His thighs tightened around the bottle as he struggled to get the cork out. It was obvious this was the first time he had done this. Kirishima lingered over to the bed, it still didn't feel right to be in the bedroom. But seeing Bakugou become more comfortable rubbed off on him. He sat down next to Bakugou as he heard the pop of the cork pull off.

"I've never had wine before," Kirishima muttered, "My mom likes it, but she likes white wine more than red."

"My mom only drinks red wine. Beggars can't be choosers," Bakugou took a swig of wine and sighed afterwards, he handed the bottle to Kirishima, "If you don't like it I might kill you. It was hard tryin' to sneak this out of the cabinet."

"Stole from your mom. Such a bad boy," Kirishima said and smelt the liquid. He shrugged his shoulders and took a sip. He hated the taste, knew it would get him drunk if he drank enough of it, and also kept a straight face, "That's good. You don't have to kill me just yet."

Bakugou nodded as the bottle was passed back to him. They sat in silence briefly, looking down at the heroic cartoons on the bed sheets, Kirishima pulled at them.

"So you brought me here to quietly drink wine?"

"Yeah. Yeah I did, it's too loud down there for us to be doin' something like this."

"What is _this _that we're doing?"

Bakugou took a large gulp of wine and then a deep breath, "I… I want to talk."

Kirishima tilted his head to the side. He got in a more comfortable position on the bed. He sounded so serious, it must be true. Kirishima took the bottle and gave a nursing sip.

"What do you want to talk about?" Kirishima asked.

"Mmm...you first."

"You brought me up here to talk and now-"

"_You. First._" Bakugou growled.

Kirishima sighed and pushed back his bangs as he tried to think of a subject. But the only thing on his mind actually troubled him. He wasn't sure if would be such a good topic but he decided on it anyway. He licked his top lip slowly, the bitter olive taste of the wine lingered.

"Why do you call Midoriya Deku?"

"Deku? You really want to talk about _him?_"

"You said that I should go first. This is what I chose to talk about. Answer me or you'll have to start talking."

Bakugou teased his hair, a form to show his distress. Perhaps contemplating what he truly wanted to say to Kirishima while also trying to form a response.

"When we were kids he was my best friend and while I got better and smarter than the other kids, definitely Midoriya, I started to look more like a failure to me. So I call him Deku to make fun of him."

"But you don't see him as a failure, you just don't want him to think that so that's why you gave him such an awful nickname. So he'll eventually hate you.. Guess what, he doesn't. You're getting easier to read, Bakugou."

"Hey I-" Bakugou stopped himself and sunk down slightly. He clenched his hand around the neck of the wine bottle tightly, "I know… I just call him that cause I'm just a jerk sometimes."

Kirishima squinted his eyes in confusion. He wasn't quite understanding the mood shift in Bakugou. Whatever he wanted to say must have been waying rather heavily on his mind. He didn't want to screw something up. Bakugou was showing self restraint and humility, but all for what? Kirishima hoped that soon Bakugou would fess up.

"Is Midoriya still your best friend?"

"I thought you knew you were my best friend."

"I thought I did too."

Silence.

"No."

"Why?"

Bakugou took another drink and wiped his mouth afterwards, "Because… Deku does better things than me and it pisses me off. He makes friends easily now, he has good grades, and he's happy. And after all these years he still wants to be my friend. Fucking asshole."

"Are you jealous of him?"

"No! I'd never be jealous of an insignificant bug like him."

"You just said he's better than you. That takes a lot of nerve, especially from you to admit something like that."

Kirishima was seeing something real. Real complexity in Bakugou that wasn't just teenage angst, raw emotion, all of these things blossoming out of nowhere. So much so Kirishima believed he could smell roses and lavender budding next to each other. It took Bakugou long enough to lower his walls. It made Kirishima look at himself now. Bakugou didn't say anything defensive back. But he had an almost disappointing look in his eyes. Kirishima breath out through his nose.

"What did you talk to Midoriya about while you were down there?"

"I asked him if we could go up to his room," No hassle with answering Kirishima's question, "Where you and me could be alone. Cause I already had plans tonight, since you ruined them with this party I had to improvise. He said it was alright for us to be up here. He actually seemed..._happy _about it. Freak."

"You really did plan on doing something different tonight if we stayed home. Heh," Kirishima shook his head, "If you told me what you had planned maybe I would have ditched this party."

"No you wouldn't have."

"You're right I wouldn't. Why didn't you tell me though? Even if you knew I was going to this party."

"Because it would have ruined the _surprise._"

"What surprise?

They had to stop doing this silent act. They were doing so well and now it had stopped once again. If only they'd open their mouths then maybe for once they would have to investigate each other. They would just _know _each other. They kept passing the bottle back and forth, tasting their back-wash and alcohol. As Bakugou held on to the wine, holding it for comfort, perhaps there was bravery in the bottle.

"You remember that night when you pulled me into having a conversation with you? When I asked you why you moved here all alone. You told me such an intimate moment, and I saw how much I hurt you when I reacted the way I did…I've never seen anything like that before and it made me feel like _garbage_ and I couldn't stop thinking about it, Bakugou's cheeks started to look like they were getting flushed. It must have been the wine, "I'm sorry."

It felt like there was a cold breeze, but there wasn't a window open so it wasn't possible. Goosebumps appeared all over his arms, his ears felt hot and his brain couldn't process the words. Bakugou's whole demeanor had changed, Kirishima could see that this whole scene was something that weighed heavily on his mind and that he had been thinking about how this would play out. No matter how smart and prideful Bakugou was, he humbled himself in front of Kirishima. It made Kirishima's stomach turn in knots. Instead of accepting the apology, he leaned in close to him on the bed and said:

"Do you like me, Bakugou?"

Bakugou's pupils dilated, face becoming flushed, he showed complete _error._ Bakugou was only thinking if he should kill Kirishima or himself. He moved back and flashed his teeth.

"Fuck you! Don't ask me that!" The plan was crumbling. He couldn't find a proper way to maneuver.

"Bakugou," Kirishima calmly said, only to get back into Bakugou's space. Much closer this time, "Do you _like _me?"

Bakugou swallowed nothing. He scrunched up his nose and grabbed Kirishima's sweater collar viciously. Kirishima was frightened, he was even more scared when Bakugou smashed his lips against Kirishima's. Kirishima slightly gasped, he held onto Bakugou's forearm and pulled on the sleeve. He kept his eyes opened just to see how Bakugou looked as he kissed him. He still looked angry, angry because the events didn't go as planned. Kirishima would never know how Bakugou wanted this kiss to have happened, but this felt like how it should be. He could feel the heat of Bakugou's mouth, as the kiss was deepened, Kirishima could feel his teeth rub against 's hand unclenched and instead stayed pressed on Kirishima's flat chest, his lips became less tense and the sensation forced Kirishima's eyes to finally close. He never once thought about pushing Bakugou away. They pulled away after a moment, they breathed heavily, neither one of them had ever kissed anyone like that before. Mouths wet.

"I like you too." Kirishima whispered.

"Shut up,idiot," Bakugou muttered, leaning Kirishima down on the bed as he put his weight on top of him, "I want to kiss you again."

Bakugou moved in for another kiss but Kirishima turned his head to the side and tried to push up on Bakugou's firm chest.

"No. Not here," Kirishima started to sit up, forcing Bakugou to sit upright again. Still the same distance apart, "Not with all of Midoriya's figures looking at us. I don't think he'd like if we made out in his bed either."

"Come on, I had to talk fuckin' Deku into letting us in here-"

"Just for this moment?"

"... Just for this moment."

Kirishima smiled at Bakugou and tapped his cheek with his hand. Kirishima stood up from the bed and stretched his arms above his head.

"You can stay the night at my house after we leave tonight if you want to Come on, we better get back."

"Tch, you suck," Bakugou didn't really mean it. He corked the wine and put it back in his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and then walking over to Kirishima, "Since you're okay with me kissin' you, can I get one before we go back to the party?"

Kirishima smiled softly, Bakugou took that a yes but it's not what it meant. Kirishima had to stop him once again. He was proud Bakugou was showing him this respect and kindness… But it wasn't right, just not in this place. He finally understood why the two were attracted to one another, even with their differences and their lack of communication up until now. Their emotions were tangled in long cords that were too hard to unravel.

"No."

Bakugou's nostrils flared as he butted his way out of the room without a single word. Kirishima felt like his heart was about to burst open. He would have to tell Midoriya '_thank you'_ later. if you want… I'd feel better about kissing you there then here.

Bakugou glared at Kirishima. As if something was his fault. It must have been because of the kiss. Because he wanted to stay in that little room, only the two of them.

"Shitty hair." Bakugou said under his breath. Kirishima chuckled.

A nickname.

_Thanks for reading. Review, favorite, and follow if you enjoyed! It really helps me a lot. See you next time._


	4. What's the Matter

**Hey guys! New chapter! This one is a steamy one. Also, a trigger warning there is a ****brief**** mention of previous self harm and illness. I do not own MHA nor the characters used in the story. Enjoy!**

_9.25_

_Bakugou likes to hold hands. Only when no one is around. And I literally mean __**nobody**__. Not even in front of strangers, only in my house. His grip is tight, I run my thumb against his boney knuckle and his palms always start to sweat. That I know he hates about holding hands. But he'll always reach out, touch his fingertips against my palm and then move to lock my hand against mine. I wonder if he thinks my hands are soft, or how small they are compared to his. Sometimes I wonder what my mom would say if she knew I was holding hands with a boy. I think about the same thing with Bakugou's mother. We have a project due the first week of October, I don't think it was a good idea for Mr Aizawa to put us together. _

Kirishima laid on the couch, his ear to the cushion as he rubbed his hand up and down on the velvet until he heard Ms Kayama close his journal. She tilted her head and leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs and propped her hand on her cheek. It had become easier to open up to Ms Kayama now. With the way she spoke, and how it seemed like the connection with Kirishima was more than just a job for her. She spoke to him like a normal person. Even when she knew of the issues a person held.

"Eijiro," God, a first name, "Are you… Curious about your sexuality?"

Kirishima started to sit up and shrugged, "Maybe? I don't know. Is it important?"

"It might be. You don't have to find a label or come out to me as anything. Just maybe how you feel about it."

Kirishima hummed and chewed his cheek, "I think about… Girls sometimes. I like their curves and body they're usually shorter than me so I think that's cute. Their voices are usually more appealing and I think girls may find me more attractive. In middle school and in high school before the incident I've gotten a few confessions before but it scared me. But when I… You know…"

"Masterbate?"

Kirishima blushed slightly and nodded, "Yeah… I think about..._guys. _I think about them a lot more than I ever thought about girls"

"Is Bakugou gay?" Ms Kayama asked.

"I didn't even think Bakugou had any sexual interest in anyone until he kissed me."

"You didn't mention he kissed you. When was this?"

"It was at the party Midoriya had. He took me upstairs and we talked for awhile and then he just… Just kissed me. It was so sudden, I almost couldn't process it."

Ms Kayama hummed, simply, "Did you like it?"

Kirishima bit his bottom lip, "I liked it so much we did it after the party… and the day after… and the day after that, and you get it."

"So you kiss quite often now. That's a pretty big leap when just a few weeks ago you couldn't even get the guy talking," Ms Kayama smiled, she felt as if she had helped Kirishima, "So are you two an item?"

"I don't think so, but I also don't think me and him are going to stop kissing each other anytime soon to just kiss someone else. Mostly because Bakugou doesn't show anyone the same affection he shows me."

"Being in a committed relationship is scary to you huh?"

Ms Kayama started to kick her heel up as she sat more comfortable. Like she was having a conversation with a well known friend. It must have been horrible to be a psychiatrist's friend. Always reading. Always thinking. Always finding someway for you to confess.

"Well yeah, isn't it scary for everyone? You have to worry about what they think about you, you have to tell them when you're going out and who you're going out with. You have to make sure their expectations are met. A makeout session seems more appealing to me than that right now."

"Did you ever have these types of causal relationships before you came here?" Ms Kayama asked.

"Not with a guy but with a few of the girls who liked me. We'd kiss a little bit then once I felt like they wanted to get more serious I'd cut it off."

"Do you miss any of them? Those girls?"

"I don't even really think about them. I just remember how sad they looked. This one girl, after I told her I wanted to stop, her chin quivered. She nodded without a word and then walked away… I think that girl really liked me."

"What will happen when Bakugou says he wants a relationship?"

Kirishima chuckled. He laughed because the idea of Bakugou having to be on the same wavelength of any human being was prosperous. I would destroy his ideals of independence, it would force him to show his empathy stark naked, it would completely change him and he would no longer be Katsuki Bakugou.

"It's unlikely that will happen anytime soon."

"Well let's say hypothetically he did," Ms Kayama leaned forward and adjusted herself in her chair, "What would you say to him?"

Kirishima scratched his head, then moved his hand down to his cheek, "I guess I would ask why mostly. I don't… I don't think I'd be able to say yes or no right away. I know I like him, I know I like being around him. But I don't think I _need _him yet. I just want him around."

"Does sex scare you?"

"Huh?!" Kirishima perked up, cheeks flushed a dark, rich color of red, "Why would you bring sex up?! I'm only sixteen."

"You'll be seventeen very soon. And it's very common boys your age or younger to be thinking about sex. Having it even," This topic seemed to interest Ms Kayama. Sex is exciting to most people anyway, "You said you kiss these girls, is that all you ever did?"

Kirishima shook his head quickly, "I was in no way having sex with any of those girls. But that doesn't mean sex scares me! It just makes me uncomfortable… It makes me think people want to see more of me… and if they do that, then they won't think of me as the same."'

"You see it as too intimate right? Sex you can easily screw up, and someome can easily see that, you don't want them to think you were a mistake."

Kirishima's ears were red. He had fallen silent and Ms Kayama didn't mind. She'd let him have a moment. Hands in his lap as Kirishima's palms started to become sweaty. He thought that _if _Bakugou had sex with him. If they got to the point where he would slide his hands down Kirishima's sides, holding him with the same fragility of an egg shell. Lips moving away from the mouth and then towards the neck, to the collar bone, to the shoulder. Kirishima thought about Bakugou on top, taking no time in running his hand up his chest and feeling the heat. But then he thought about Bakugou taking his shirt off, and all Kirishima would then look like is a ruined mess. His body would expand and become a fleshy blob. Turing the room into his skin and every flaw would be revealed, every single one he wanted to keep under wraps. Bakugou would then leave, and the only person who would be at fault would be Kirishima. In the end, those faults were his own for being born. Kirishima lifted up his head to look at the time.

"I-I better get going," Kirishima said, standing up. Practically running towards the door, "Next time, don't bring this up again, please."

"Sure. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," What a lie, "I'll see you again same time next week, okay? And if you're having a tough time in anything you just give me a call, alright?"

"Yep. Goodbye, Ms Kayama."

"Goodbye Kirishima.

When Kirishima opened the door, the scent of marijuana and cheese hit his nose like a brick to the face. He took his wallet out of his pocket and sat those and the keys on the small end table close to the door. He saw Bakugou's bag on the floor, and his shoes by the wall. Bakugou had started on the project, he saw a laptop open, a notebook with a pencil right beside it, and a dirty bong all propped up on his coffee table. No lighter, Bakugou always made sure to stuff those in his pocket every time he was done. Kirishima sighed and moved towards the kitchen. He peeked his head around the corner and felt the heat of a stove in the condence kitchen. He saw Bakugou in a pair of dark jeans and a black tank top slowly stirring a pot of pasta. Kirishima put his chin on Bakugou's shoulder, he didn't look at him.

"Do you mind?" Bakugou asked.

"I don't, thanks for asking. You stink."

Bakugou rolled his eyes and kept mindlessly stirring the pot. Kirishima wondered if the reason why Bakugou smoked was to calm himself. You can't feel like a raging animal 24/7 and feel perfectly fine about yourself.

"How was your appointment?" Bakugou muttered. _Sweet._

"Strange. She made me talk about my sexuality today," Kirishima tilted his head against Bakugou's neck, "How long ago did you put these noodles in?"

"Why would she make you talk about that? Wait, do you write about us in your stupid journal?"

"Don't sound so hostile, and it's not stupid. It's helpful. It helps Ms Kayama when I don't feel up to talking about certain things. I just wrote about us and how we like each other"

"Tch, so dumb," Bakugou blushed, he didn't mean to do so. It matched the color of his eyes, "What came out of that entry?"

"Hm, things that will make you mad." Kirishima smiled, his fingers rubbed Bakugou's free hand..

"Try me. You can't kill my buzz right now." Bakugou locked his fingers with Kirishima's.

Kirishima laughed softly, "She asked if I knew my sexuality. I said I wasn't sure. She believes I have commitment issues and I'm pretty sure she thinks you're gay."

"Do you believe her?" Bakugou asked and tried to weed out one noodle on the spoon, "When she says I'm gay."

"I don't know. At first I thought it was impossible for you to show any affection towards anyone. Do you think you're gay?"

"Don't try and act like a shrink to me. I don't need it." Bakugou at a piece of macaroni and figured it needed more time.

"You didn't answer me."

"I'm definitely not straight I know that much."

"That's good enough for me."

Bakugou lowered the heat on the stove and pulled Kirishima's arms off of him, his hand moved to his wrist. Bakugou leaned back on the counter and snaked his hands to Kirishima's hips, Kirishima gravitated towards Bakugou's chest. He leaned down and kissed Kirishima's cheek as gently as Katsuki Bakugou could. It felt like a butterfly wiggling his wing on his skin. His lips moved to his jawline.

"I started on the presentation," Bakugou said, "It's real easy and I'm halfway done with it. I say we take a break, we get a little stoned, and just-"

"Hang out?"

Bakugou paused for a moment, he rubbed Kirishima's hips and nodded. He moved his hand away and pushed Kirishima off of him. Returning to the boiling pot.

"Yeah, yeah hang out."

Kirishima raised an eyebrow. He he hopped up on the counter and stared directly into the bubbling water. Seeing pasta float to the top. His lips scrunched up as his feet kicked up. Bakugou's reply started to make Kirishima's skin crawled.

"Why do you always stay here?" Kirishima asked.

"I thought I answered that question a long time ago. You ask such useless questions."

"You've been staying over a lot more often. I'm kinda glad because you go to school more often but still... Don't you ever miss your home? Don't you miss your parents?"

"No."

That was a firm answer. It was an answer that no doubt tells the truth, and maybe with some time it would be expanded. It would be built upon into a conversation, not a very light hearted one it would be. But at this moment, the answer was _no. _Kirishima looked down at his feet, Bakugou tried another noodle and then picked up the pot by the handles. He carefully began to pour the steaming hot water out.

"When I was in the hospital, I would think about my room back home all the time," Kirishima began, "I would be awake in the middle of the night and just wonder, '_would my favorite sweater be clean? Did I still have that book I have yet to finish? Did my blanket still smell the same even if I wasn't sleeping in it?'_ all the time I would recrete how my room looked in my head, how my room smelt. I told nurses about all the _Red Riot _figurines I had collected and patients about the liquor bottles I hide and how I prayed my mom wouldn't find them. And I hoped that it was all right. Cause if I forgot what my house looked like, then I would truly be lost."

"And then you changed everythin' about your life. And left that room for no one to go back to," Bakugou placed the pot on the counter and opened up the package of pre-made cheese, "You made yourself become lost and you don't even know it."

Sometimes Kirishima wished that Bakugou wasn't so smart. He wanted Bakugou to be dumbed down when stoned but instead he became a pessimistic philosopher. One that knew the how and the why. And that was worse than anything else in the world. Kirishima didn't have to see the look on Bakugou's face to know that he was right. His voice was smooth, soothing even. No sharpness in any of the vowels, no words needing to be rushed.

"I'm… I'm not lost. And I was just telling a story. You don't need to analyze it. That's what you always tell me."

"Why not? You're obviously wantin' me to relate to it so I'll just tell you why I don't like my home. That might work on Kaminari or Shinso but not me. I thought you'd know me better by now."

Kirishima's brows furrowed as Bakugou finished stirring and opened the cabinet. Kirishima got off the counter and closed the cabinet, making a loud shut. Bakugou didn't turn his head to look at Kirishima, his hand only inches away. Kirishima's hand shook on the cabinet door.

"I know you like to hold hands," Kirishima said, sounding so foolish saying a line such as that so aggressive, "You never finish beers, you always leave a little in the bottles. You click your pens and gnaw off the clips. You hold cigarette between your teeth because you like the foam. You write notes in cursive but turn in papers in print. You love _Bambi. _You yell at people who call you friend because you don't want them too close. And I know for a fucking fact that you hate yourself, but you're too prideful to ever say it outloud that you'll ever need help… Don't say I don't know you. Cause if I didn't know you then I don't think you'd ever be here."

Something broke. It must have been one of Bakugou's ribs, there was no way it was his heart.

Bakugou turned to Kirishima. He grabbed his collar with one hand and the other gripping his hair, and the strength of a beast that has yet to be described on paper. He pushed kirishima against the cheap kitchen table. Kirishima flinched, he was sure that he had ruined anything him and Bakugou had talked about, everything that they had done would be erased. It was all over. Kirishima had basically called Bakugou out, he closed his eyes, thinking how painful Bakugou's knuckles would be once they hit his face. But that didn't happen.

Bakugou smashed his lips against Kirishima's. It made Kirishima tremble not in fear, but in satisfaction, he was glad he was wrong. Bakugou's fingers didn't _pull _Kirishima's hair, but more so _ran. _Kirishima started to move his hands to Bakugou's back and gripped his clothes, he made a soft grunt into Bakugou's mouth. Bakugou placed his hands on Kirishima thighs and lifted him up on the table, sliding between his legs with ease. Kirishima had to pull away, if he didn't he'd pass out, cheeks boyishly red as Bakugou's lips turned to his neck. Running up and down like an excited child, making Kirishima's hips thrust forward against his crotch. His tongue brushed against the flesh, Kirishima smelt Bakugou's mouth.

"Wait wait wait, stop, stop." Kirishima breathily said, patting Bakugou's back.

"Tell me why," Bakugou said, nipping at Kirishima's skin, "Would you rather me be angry? Would you rather me scream and call you an idiot?"

"N-no."

"Then give me a reason to stop," Bakugou put his hand on Kirishima's cheek. He gave him a longing look, like he had been thinking about this for sometime, "Cause I'm tryin' to give you a reason to let it be."

Bakugou kissed Kirishima again, and with those dripping words Kirishima sunk into pleasure. He felt his head filled with sticky pink goo that Bakugou transferred to him by his lips. Let it happen. _Let. It. Happen._ Give it love and it will soon blossom. Don't worry, there is no room here for anxiety because the weather won't let it grow, not here. Not in this moment. There's a light named Bakugou, and he is merciful.

Bakugou's hand travelt down to Kirishima's cozy stomach, in search for butterflies. It was heat against Kirishima's tummy and Bakugou's palms, making a fire. Bakugou kissed Kirishima's throat, it felt like a pleasant blade. He raised Kirishima's shirt higher and higher, until his lips could kiss Kirishima's flat belly, it cause Kirishima breathes to shorten and become quick.

"You scared?" Bakugou asked.

"Yes…"

"Scared of me?"

"No… About what you'll think."

Bakugou simply shook his head and only said, "You're a fool. A frightened, foolish person."

Bakugou lowered himself down to his knees. He reached out towards Kirishima's belt buckle, but couldn't do anything since his knees buckled together and hands moved between his legs. So worried about how his body would betray him. Kirishima felt his body began to sweat, the kitchen was too hot, it was all that boiling water and body heat. Bakugou pried them open without much restraint, Kirishima's whole body shook, he was weak. Bakugou started to undo his belt, and with that he started to unbutton Kirisima's pants.

"H-have you done this bef-fore?" Kirishima fumbled.

"No."

"Doesn't that frighten you?"

He sounded like he was on the brink of tears. But he wasn't his voice was just breaking.

"I don't think about that."

"W-what do you think about? Please?"

"I think about how good I know I can make you feel. If I only just _try _for you_._"

All the pain. All the stubbornness. All of the rage. Sadness, overthinking, and doesn't fleet, but it subsides in this little kitchen. Kirishima thickly swallowed his toes curled but his legs stopped shaking as they were stripped off. Small scars of childhood lingered on his skin, a boy falling down more often than sometimes. Injuries from as far back as five to twelve. A long, large scar on both calves going back from a little more than six months that didn't work out how he thought it would. The same way the pills didn't work. Still fresh and would be that way for an awfully long time. Much whiter than Kirishima sun kissed skin and added a roughness to him. Bakugou's fingers didn't skim them, they instead stayed close to Kirishima's ankles, a baby bruise from bumping against the coffee table on accident. Kirishima's fists covered his nose. Bakugou's eyes closed, one hand moving against Kirishima's clothed crotch. Trying to get a rise.

A squeal came out of Kirishima, his whole body tensed up as he started to become hard against Bakugou's palm. Be felt like he could faint, his head ached as he rubbed his face. He gripped Bakugou's hair so he wouldn't fall back on the table. He needed to be steady. Bakugou opened the flap of his boxer briefs. Kirishima bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes tightly, Bakugou made his legs go over his broad shoulders as his tongue started at the base of the shaft and then licked up. Kirishima sighed as his fingers tangled deeper into his locks.

How could Bakugou be so calm? How was it that Bakugou's lips didn't tremble, and that only a bead of sweat formed on his forehead to only fall to his chin? Did Bakugou truly have the power for ten men? Why did Kirishima have to ask these questions as ecstasy? He believed he didn't deserve such pleasure, and that he would never be able to reciprocate the same. His head felt heavy as Bakugou's lips wrapped around the tip of Kirishima's cock. He hollowed his cheeks as he began to suck harshly while his hand wrapped around Kirishima's shaft and started to pump. His grip was stif, but it felt heavenly. Kirishima's head tipped back as a moan escaped from his lips, creating a string that continued into the air. Kirishima's legs locked behind Bakugou's neck, making Bakugou move his mouth deeper on Kirishima's cock, his movements at a much faster pace now as drool started to pour from his mouth. Grunts started to come from Bakugou, he grabbed Kirishima's thighs and made his hips rock forward with the rhythm of his mouth, Kirishima gasped loudly. His back arched as a longing moan came from him.

"F-fuck, Bakugou I'm going to come, shit, pull off!" Kirishima exclaimed.

Bakugou didn't listen, just like he always did. He did as he pleased and in a way, Kirishima enjoyed that. His breathing was ragged, Kirishima held Bakugou's head down as his bit his bottom lip hard to try and conceal a moan. He came and finally Kirishima felt the need to fall back on the table. He put his arm over his face and panted heavily, his chest going up and down quickly, his belly and cock still out. Bakugou swallowed, a sour look on his face as he wiped his chin. Bakugou stood up and reached into the back of his pocket for his cigarette pack, he adjusted himself and sat down on one of the wooden chairs. He lit the end and took a drag. After Kirishima caught his breath, he straightened his boxers out and picked up his pants, getting back into them.

"Why did you do that?" Kirishima asked.

"I thought that would be better than me just getting angry at you. I wanted to hit you so bad," Bakugou said through his teeth, "I hate your stupid brain and what it does to me. You're wrong most of the time."

"I… I think I like that better than you getting mad at me…"

Bakugou turned his head to the side, the smoke dancing around Bakugou's flushed face.

"My mom is sick."

Kirishima buttoned up his pants and left the belt aside, "Sick with what?"

"_Sick."_

"Will she get better?"

"No."

"Are you afraid?"

"No."

Lie. Kirishima got off the table and moved behind Bakugou. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around Bakugou's neck, he nestled his nose against his skin, taking in his scent. Smell of sweat, ash, and caramel. He kissed him and let his arms grow tighter around Bakugou.

"I'm sorry."

"Ain't nothin' to be sorry about."

Kirishima's eyes lowered, he patted Bakugou's chest and pulled off of him.

"Are you still hungry?"

"Not really."

"Well. Since the presentation is easy why don't we get a little stoned, eat something and maybe…"

Bakugou faced Kirishima and smirked, "Hang out?"

Kirishima chuckled and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah hang out."

_Thanks for reading. Review, follow, and favorite if you enjoyed. It helps me out a lot. See you next time._


	5. Nostalgic Night

**Hey guys! If you like this chapter/story, make sure you review and favorite it! I do not own any of the characters used nor MHA. Enjoy!**

_10.1_

_In fifteen days I turn seventeen. In someway, I hope to change and in other ways, I hope I won't. I must be doing something right if Kaminari keeps texting me every day. If Sero keeps asking if I need bud and if Mina tells me about how cute Sero is and to keep it a secret between the two of us. If Jiro lends me her earbuds to listen to a new track she made. Something must be right if Bakugou wants me the way he does. But I know something is growing in the pit of my stomach, and I can't taste if it's going to be good or bad once it comes up. My mind tells me it will be something horrible, something I won't be able to control and it will take me in full force. But my heart, as much of a hopeless romantic it may be, it believes I will cough up something beautiful. I don't know how to make them agree. Ma already spoiled that she's going to get me the real expensive Red Riot figurine I've been wanting since I was a child, me being gone must have finally proved that I am worth it. I want to be a man more than anything._

The bell had already rung. Students packed up much quicker as Kirishima shut his journal, sticking his pen away in the pocket of his backpack. He really didn't pay too much attention today in class. Bakugou had decided to skip school, falling back into an old habit occasionally. Kirishima focused his last period on finding the right words for his journal entry. He saw Mr Aizawa still at his desk. Feet up on the table, arms folded, staring rather vacantly at Kirishima but he wouldn't bring up how uncomfortable that made him. Kirishima packed away his journal and stood up, throwing the backpack strap over his shoulder. He awkwardly waved at Mr Aizawa before walking passed him.

"See you tomorrow Mr. Aizawa."

"Hold on, Kirishima," There was no urgency in Mr Aizawa's voice, but his hand went up, eyes following Kirishima, "Could you talk for a second?"

He had moments before Kirishima packed up and now he wanted to have a word with him.

"Sir?"

"Pull up a chair, I don't want to get up."

Kirishima believed that Mr Aizawa would live at school just so he wouldn't have to move from place to place. Kirishima took a chair from one of the desks and pulled it in front of Mr Aizawa's unorganized desk. Too many red pens, not enough black ones.

"What do you want to discuss? Am I in trouble, sir?" Kirishima asked.

Mr Aizawa shook his head and took his feet off the desk, "No, nothing like that," Mr Aizawa folded his fingers together and put his elbows on the table, "You write, don't you?"

"Sir?"

"That little notebook in your bag," He motioned at Kirishima's backpack, "You just finished writing in it."

"It's just a journal… It's personal."

"I see."

Kirishima raised an eyebrow, his hands were in his lap as Mr Aizawa continued to stare again in silence. It started to make Kirishima feel nervous. He rubbed the back of his neck and turned his head to the side, Kirishima thought that might be rude.

"What is this all about, Mr Aizawa?"

Mr Aizawa sighed and closed his eyes. He pinched his brow and softly grunted as his eyes closed. He seemed stress for whatever reason.

"Would you stop by Yamada's classroom today and go to this Creative Writing club or whatever he does?" Mr Aizawa asked, "He's been a pain in my ass as of late and has been hounding me to try and persuade you to go."

"I'm sorry sir but you aren't very good at it. Shinso already asked me to go, it's not really my thing."

"I know. He already told me. The both of them are trying to get you in that club and they're using me as a middle man."

Mr Aizawa scratched his messy hair and leaned back in his chair. He hated this, every moment of this wasn't _his thing._ Effort was hard, but annoyance was tougher. Kirishima wasn't thinking about biting yet.

"I have to be getting home, Mr Aizawa."

"If you go to this club meeting today, right now, I'll give you ten points added on your presentation with Bakugou. I just want Yamada out of my hair, I don't care as long as you go there _once_ they'll get over it."

Kirishima licked his top lip slowly and turned back to look at Mr Aizawa, "I'd like twelve points, sir."

"I'll make it fifteen, just get to Yadama's classroom, the club starts at four from what I've been told."

"Will Bakugou get those extra points?"

"It's a group project, isn't it? It is right?" Mr Aizawa second guessed his own assignments.

Kirishima nodded, "What's the room number?"

"3-B."

Kirishima chewed his cheek and nodded his head, "Okay," Kirishima said and put one hand in his pocket, "I'll see you Mr Aizawa."

"Are you going?"

"Yes, sir."

Mr Aizawa nodded, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sir."

Kirishima walked out of the room. He felt exhausted, that room was drained of any kind of lively energy. But he felt relieved. He hoped that he wouldn't be gone too late, and hopefully Bakugou wouldn't be too pissed off. Kirishima walked down the hallway, the classroom wasn't that far. Just walk a couple of feet there, turn at this corner here, and boom- room 3-B stared Kirishima down. He couldn't hear much going on with the thick door being closed. But he took a deep breath, put his hand on the handle and hoped for the best. Kirishima opened the door, there he only saw a few people, all sitting close together at desks, they had created an odd circle. All of their heads rose up to look at Kirishima, he thought they looked like they wanted to crush him but it couldn't be true. Shinso was one of those faces, he did a half smile and stood up from his desk.

"Kirishima, I knew you'd finally make it. I just knew today was the day." Shinso said as he walked towards the boy.

"Because you harassed my teacher enough?"

"Absolutely!" A tall man with long blonde hair interjected and put his arm around Kirishima's shoulders, "I knew Shouta wouldn't last too long. I'm Mr Yadama and welcome to the Creative Writing club!"

Mr Yamaha was the type of guy to make Kirishima sweat. Bursting out the seams with personality that hit the roof and came back down to punch you in the face. He wore a light blue shaggy cardigan with a white button up under it. Fashionable glasses at his nose, needing to be pushed up because of how much he shook. Kirishima pulled Mr Yamada's arm off of him and moved to the side. He saw the strangers faces raise an eyebrow briefly at Kirishima but then paid attention to their notebooks again. They must be used to Mr Yamada's big mouth. He scratched his ear and looked at Shinso.

"Uh, where should I sit?" Kirishima asked.

"You can sit by me," Shinso lead the way to his desk and pointed to the empty seat next to him. Mr Yamada let Shinso take control and went to his desk, "Did you bring your journal with you?"

"I did but that's usually for my personal use." Kirishima said as he sat down.

"That's alright, we have some extras. You can use it for the next meeting."

"Shinso, I'm only coming to this one time," Kirishima whispered, not to cause Mr Yamada to make another scene, "Mr Aizawa is giving me extra points as long as I show up this time."

"Well, you never know."

Shinso went to the corner of the room where he went towards a large black filing cabinet. He opened the bottom drawer and pull out a thin, bland looking notebook. He placed it on Kirishima's desk and sat next to him afterwards. The room was so silent, only the scratching of pens could be heard. He glanced over at Shinso's open notebook, all that was written was a title called _dream. _Kirishima looked at the classroom board, all that was written was _nostalgia._

"What are we doing?"

"One word prompt. We use one word that's on the board to create a short writing piece. We usually take about thirty minutes and then for the rest of the time we tell what we wrote."

"Like a short story?"

"It can be a short story, a poem, a script, or a memory. It can really be anything you want to write about."

"What are you going to be writing about?"

"The last dream I can remember. A monster chased me the whole time and I had never felt so much terror and joy in my life."

"Sounds like a nightmare."

"It was, but that was the best sleep I had ever had in my life." Shinso happily sighed, he picked up his pen and began to write on the page, "What makes you feel nostalgic, Kirishima?"

Kirishima shrugged and slumped in his seat. He really didn't want to be here. It felt cold. Kirishima hadn't even thought about pulling a pen out yet and participating in this prompt. Nostalgia was a stupid word.

"I don't know. I don't really like to think about things in my past that gives me a feeling of nostalgia. I guess that happiest nostalgia I'd feel is watching _Red Riot _when I was younger. I like thinking about what would make others happy."

"No one ever said nostalgia had to be happy. And no one said that you had to write about yourself. If you aren't interesting enough, put yourself in someone else's shoes. This isn't meant to be hard, you know?"

"I know that…"

Shinso paused, he leaned forward and placed his palm on his cheek. Always such a tired look on his face, skin like putty and eyes like a dream. It put Kirishima on edge because he had never seen such a good poker face.

"What do you think makes me feel nostalgic?" Shinso asked.

Kirishima thought that was jovial and chuckled, "A good night's sleep."

Shinso smiled softly, "What makes Kaminari feel nostalgic?"

Kirishima hummed, "Um… Oh! He sings that one _Beatles _song what's it called… _She Loves You_."

"He told me his dad sang that song to his mom all the time. He says it's catchy," Shinso tapped his pen, "And Mina?"

Shinso was forcing Kirishima out loud to tell his story instead of writing it down. Shinso had a voice you could trust and lulled you to come with him.

"Boys she's previously had crushes on. I saw her flipping through her notebook and sighed once she turned to a page with hearts and a boy's name written all over it. Very school girl like. I think that boy got a girlfriend."

"Sero?"

"Sero… parties and get togethers. I've seen him sit the same way on every couch when he's at a kickback and he'll have a beer and the very casual cigarette. He'll do that big goofy grin after every sip. A drink takes him somewhere, I just don't know where."

"Bakugou?"

Kirishima bit his bottom lip. He placed his chin on the table and crossed his arms. This made him sad. Sad because he didn't know much about Bakugou's past. He didn't know the previous events that made Bakugou the person he is today. He didn't know what gave him that hot temper. He didn't know what gave him a scar on his knee, nor if he got his hair color from his mother or his father. He was still so far from Bakugou, and it wasn't fair that Bakugou knew more about Kirishima. He missed Bakugou today.

"I don't know…" Kirishima muttered, he turned his head to the side and looked up at Shinso, "How long have you known Bakugou for, Shinso?"

Shinso tapped his pen on the paper, trying to remember, "We've known each other since middle school."

"Was he always… You know? So…"

"Abrasive?"

"Yeah."

"Well, not really. He had his moments but they were more passion filled than anger. Always very intense. He'd smile a lot more and he most definitely wasn't as rude like he is now. But I think it might have been eighth grade when he started to change," Shinso teased his hair a little, "He became bitter, Bakugou pretty much started to disconnect from people. That's when he started skipping classes here and there. One time I didn't see him show up for a week."

"What do you think happened?"

"Something bad."

"How bad?"

"I don't know. But something hurt him terribly."

With that line, Kirishima felt a certain kind of hopelessness. Because how do you fix a person? How do you cut away horrible memories that infect the brain and cause discomfort? Can you glue back limbs that have been lost, and cure whatever event had broken their bones? Can childhood memories become rewired and perform physical therapy on them? Could you truly help a young man with a dying mother? He could never be _fixed. _Kirishima wanted to be a man so badly. He wanted to be a man because then he would understand the world like the back of his hand. He'd be able to comfort, he'd be able to fight. He'd be able to do all the things he thought about doing but never had the guts to do so.

"I don't want to write about nostalgia, Shinso."

"It's okay. Maybe next time you'll like the prompt better."

"Maybe."

Bakugou's lips felt a little chapped. It now had started to become fall, and the change in temperature must have been the reason why. They were on the couch, Kirishima was under Bakugou as their hips pressed up against one another. Bakugou's hands delicately placed on Kirishima's bare thighs, he was wearing a pair of pajama shorts. Kirishima's arms were wrapped around Bakugou's neck, hanging loosely. Bakugou's hand started to rise to Kirishima's side, going under his shirt.

Bakugou's lips started to bury in Kirishima's neck, causing his head to turn to the side. His eyes were half way opened as a small moan escaped his mouth. Kirishima ran his fingers through Bakugou's hair.

"Did you clean the living room?"

"Is that what's really on your mind?" Bakugou breathily asked.

"No… I just wanted to find a way to start a conversation."

"This isn't really the time."

Bakugou raised up Kirishima's shirt, revealing his slim chest. Planting kisses on his pecs then moving to his warm nipples. Kirishima watched him as his lips pressed on the sensitive skin and gently sucked. Kirishima sweetly sighed.

"I just want to talk." Kirishima said, tussling Bakugou's hair.

"You can talk, I'll listen." Bakugou muttered.

"Noooo," Kirishima whined, he felt a little nibble from Bakugou's teeth, "That's not fair."

"Listen asshole, knock it off. We can have all the conversation in the world after I get what I want."

What a ravenous phrase. Words that should only get a person going and release the same sexual energy their partner had. Want was different from need. Want meant it was going to be Bakugou's. He would have it and enjoy the essence Kirishima possessed. But Kirishima breathed out and tipped his head back, sinking into the couch.

"I went to Creative Writing club…" Kirishima began.

Bakugou said he would listen if Kirishima talked, but it was obvious that wasn't true. Bakugou started to lower Kirishima's shorts, he could feel Bakugou's cock get hard as it was pressed against Kirishima's crotch. Kirishima always wondered how big Bakugou was, maybe tonight he'd figure it out finally, only if he had the stomach for it. His body felt warm.

"I think I'll go again next week… okay?"

"Mmm."

Bakugou pressed his lips to Kirishima's belly as he pulled off Kirishima's underwear. He kissed the tip softly. Kirishima bit his bottom lip, this part always sent shivers down his spine.

"Our word was nostalgia. What makes you feel nostalgic?"

Bakugou shot Kirishima a look that answered '_ask me anything at this time one more time or you're dead'._ It was a romantic warning. Kirishima simply tipped his head back in pleasure as Bakugou's mouth wrapped around the tip and began to suck. He liked how Bakugou always squeezed his legs, a tight grip too keep Kirishima comfortable. It made him feel like he was good enough.

"Old _Red Riot_ movies make me feel nostalgic. The old '_now in technicolor' _ones with the cheesy effects," Kirishima chuckled as his knees started to bend. He turned his head to the side, "They gave me such an..._Intense _feeling."

Kirishima moaned as Bakugou started to bob his head quickly, Kirishima's voice was simply white noise to him at this point. He always saw this as a mission, somehow a blow job always had to end in a completion. Kirishima gripped the armrest of the couch. He rocked his hips, his member going deeper down Bakkugou's throat, so much so he began to breathe heavier.

"I always wanted to be… Be the sidekick of _Red Riot_. Before my parents divorced… My dad wanted me to be the hero. He always sends me a superhero birthday card… My birthday is so soon…" Kirishima trailed on.

It felt dreamy, almost. Like a film was over the two of them, turning them into dark blues. Changing them into one shadow as Kirishima went through warm memories. With Bakugou there, everything was so sweet. Kirishima felt like he could cry pure passion. Kirishima pushed on Bakugou's shoulders.

"Hey, get off," Kirishima said as he slinked up into a sitting position. Bakugou's head flipped up in agitation, "Just for a second, you'll like this."

"I liked what I was already doin'"

Kirishima quickly pressed his lips to Bakugou's, both hands resting on Bakugou's chest, "I want to go further… I want to… To do stuff to you for once," He looked at Bakugou half-lidded, "I want to go to my room and show you what I can do for you."

Kirishima could feel Bakugou's heart beat faster through his palms. But he kept such a cool look, cheeks only slightly pink.

"And what can you do for me?" Bakugou asked, picking up Kirishima's chin.

Kirishima didn't say a word, only simply lingered his hands down Bakugou's body and then pressed one against Bakugou's hard cock and began to rub through his pants. That was a good enough response for Bakugou because he began to get up and grabbed Kirishima's wrist. Kirishima giggled as he pulled his shirt down and let Bakugou lead the way down the hall, briskly.

There was no need to turn on the light, the moon was full. Shining in through the open window with its bright light while stars gathered around the big rock. Bakugou let go, and for once Bakugou let someone else take control, that had to have meant something. Weakness? Vulnerability? Kirishima grabbed Bakugou's shirt, he guided Bakugou to the bed and made him sit down. Kirishima took off his shirt, he was fully naked. Every inch of his skin begging to be touched, to be explored, wanting to do some exploring himself. There was hunger in Bakugou's eyes, he was famashed. Kirishima climbed onto Bakugou's lap, Bakugou instantly squeezed Kirishima's ass, it was expected.

Kirishima kissed Bakugou before lifting up his shirt and taking it off. Their chests pressed together, hearts beating the same speed; _fast_. Bakugou tangled his fingers in Kirishima's hair as they began to grind against each other. Bakugou pressed his tongue into Kirishima's mouth, they lapped over and over again. Drool started to build up in the corner of Kirishima's lips. It was steamy, and dirty. Kirishima pulled away only to bite Bakugou's bottom lip and slid down to the carpeted floor. Kirishima swallowed hard as he tugged on Bakugou's sweatpants and boxers, with his help, he got them off. His dick looked even more mammoth unsheathed. This was no time to coward, only do.

Kirishima's jaw opened, his tongue was already wet as he started from the base and licked up to the tip. He could already taste the precum. Bitter and gluey, nothing he had ever tasted before. He wondered if women tasted like this, he wondered if _he _tasted like this. Kirishima built up spit, a string of in was left on his tongue as he pulled away and gripped Bakugou's cock. He held on tightly and began to move his hand in a familiar motion. Kirishima looked up at Bakugou, his eyes were closed, teeth clenched was a breathtaking sight, seeing Bakugou try not to let out a noise, an easy moan. Bakugou gripped Kirishima's hair, Kirishima let his tongue swirl around the tip as his hand moved quicker. He soon replaced his hand with his mouth and began to bob his head. Bakugou's knees wanted to close together, but it took everything in him to make that not happen. It must be amazing, Kirishima thought, knowing that you're the first one to ever go down on this person. Why did this ever made him so scared, he would never know.

"F-fuck…" Bakugou grunted.

Bakugou forced Kirishima's head to go down further, he complied with ease. It was hard, the length and width made Kirishima's mouth open wider, just to make sure his sharp teeth wouldn't accidentally graze. But maybe that was part of it, part of the pleasure and experience. The noise of slurping and sucking filled the small room, Bakugou finally let out a grunt as his hips thrust up with the same pace of Kirishima's mouth. Kirishima breathed hard through his nose, he squeezed Bakuou's balls and felt them tense up. It caused Bakugou's body to tremble, he began to pant roughly, heating the space.

"Shit, shit! I'm gonna cum, fuck, keep going."

It wasn't like Kirishima was going to stop, he began to move much faster, suck much harsher. Bakugou made Kirishima go all the way down on his cock, Kirishima winced, making a gagging noise. It made him blush as Bakugou groaned and bucked his hips forward. Bakugou came and kept a tight grip on Kirishima still as he swallowed Bakugou's cum. It was instinctive for Bakugou, but Kirishima couldn't take it like that. Kirishima quickly pulled off, his eyes were wet as he breathed out heavily. Bakugou fell back on the bed, the springs sprang.

"Yuck," Kirishima muttered, "How can you swallow that stuff? It's so thick."

"You do it quick then you shut your mouth," Bakugou breathed, he patted the spot next to him, "Come up here."

Kirishima got on the bed and rested his head on Bakugou's rising chest.

"Was it good?"

"Duh, dumbass… It was… It was really good. Can't compare to my hand," Bakugou ran his fingers through his bangs and sighed, "God, it took you long enough to get the balls to do that. I never knew I needed something like that."

Kirishima smirked, "You know… I was thinking that we'd finally have sex but then I realized I wasn't preparded. No lube, no condoms, stuff like that."

"You're down for fuckin'"

"Not tonight, but maybe sometime soon."

"We'll go shopping later."

Bakugou wrapped his arms around Kirishima. He felt heavy and worn out. He buried his nose in Kirishima's hair, smelling the strands. Kirishima ran his finger on Bakugou's chest, making little paths on his skin.

"Bakugou?"

"Hm?"

"What makes you feel nostalgic?"

Bakugou rubbed Kirishima's back, causing goosebumps to appear. Kirishima was owed an answer.

"Baby pictures…" Bakugou muttered, "My parents used to take tons of pictures of me when I was younger. My mom's favorite one was my first Halloween. She dressed me up as a vampire and had my dad took a picture of me and her together. The old broad looked so happy making me look so dimb… She kept that picture in her purse for the longest time. I look through them when I'm at home and I feel…"

Bakugou left it there, and it was fine because Kirishima knew where the pieces fit. A baby picture made everything feel better. An image dies once we take it, it is only given value once it's admired again.

"How is she?"

"Not in the mood to talk about it."

"I know. It's okay."

"What do you want for your birthday?"

Kirishima smiled and booped Bakugou's nose, "Some of your baby pictures."

"Be serious or I'll get you nothing."

_I hope you enjoyed. Review, favorite, and follow if you did. It helps me out a lot. See you next time._


	6. Serpent's Belly

**Hello friends! New chapter, this one is kinda short but I promise the next one will be longer! I do not own MHA, characters, nor songs used. Enjoy!**

_10.14_

_I had a dream last night. I was in a dark room where there seemed to be nothing in it. Only me, I was naked, and something hissing all around on the ground. I soon realized there was a snake in the room with me. It was a big creature, long and horrendous. It flicked out its tongue and slithered all around me on the ground. It didn't talk, like how in some dreams animals can, it didn't even try to wrap it's fat body around me to kill. It just looked at me with it's beady eyes, and all I could feel was dread filling my whole body. Every failure I had ever done were in those eyes, they reminded me that I will never be what I thought I could be. Only that I will be worthless, and would never be on anyone's mind. No matter what, I will be second choice. I was to feel guilty for being born. I start to sob, the room fills with salty water and I drown with no struggle. I've had this dream before which is the scariest part. Because two days after that dream I tried killing myself. Before I went to sleep, Bakugou got a call from someone, he seemed upset, he punched my bathroom door and then went home for the night. Serpents are frightening, because they live to tell the truth under their bellies._

Kirishima took a deep breath before entering Ms Kayama's office. He imagined the familiar stale smell off the room, seeing neat papers on her desk and her clipboard with a pen on top. However, once he entered it smelt floral. Hibiscus perfume filled the air. He saw Ms Kayama putting on her jacket as if she had somewhere to be. Kirishima raised an eyebrow as he shut the door.

"Good afternoon, Ms Kayama." Kirishima said

"Kirishima! Good you're here," Ms Kayama turned on her heel, and smiled brightly at Kirishima. She grabbed her purse and then walked towards the boy, "Do you like coffee?"

"Well, I do, yeah. Did I come here early? Are you about to go to lunch?"

"Nope! You're right on time," Ms Kayama grabbed Kirishima's wrist, "We're going to go out today. It's my treat."

"Out? But we have a session."

Ms Kayama pulled him out of the office before he could protest anymore.

"I know we do, I'm the one who makes the schedule," Ms Kayama poked Kirishima's forehead, "I thought we'd try something different today."

"This is completely different Ms Kayama… I don't think it's such a good idea for me and you to go out like this. It'll look...Strange."

"Nonsense," Ms Kayama started to lead Kirishima down the stairs of the building. Once they reached the ground level, Ms Kayama put her hands on Kirishima's shoulders, "You're a young adult right?"

"Right."

"And young adults have mature get-together like going to a cafe, right?"

"Ms Kayama-"

"So today, Kirishima, you and I are going to get a lovely cup of coffee, okay?"

Something was wrong. The tenderness of Ms Kayama's hand was insane. This was the first time she had ever grabbed him, he thought she'd be more gentle. A fine lady with a soft grasp, but that wasn't it. Her lips were cherry red and glossy, like her mouth was wet and the mascara behind her glasses were chunky and sloppy. She had her frustration well behind her eyes but Kirishima could see it, only barely though. She needed this. And Kirishima was the only client she was able to do this with and feel comfortable.

It was rather ironic. Putting so much trust into a young boy who can't even help himself while you are a beautiful, intelligent woman that could walk this earth with so much potential. She was vulnerable, she needed a friend. Kirishima couldn't judge, he wasn't qualified.

Kirishima slowly started to nod, Ms Kayama grinned and patted his shoulder with force.

"Atta boy," Ms Kayama pulled away and opened the building door, letting in the air of the street, "it's not far from here."

It was strange, walking side by Ms Kayama. She grasped her purse tightly while she walked on air. While Kirishima's bones were tight, and sluggishly bent. The air was cold, it tickled their noses and ears as the wind tousled their hair. Ms Kayama's heels were loud, many people looked at them as they walked the busy street. Kirishima was never one to get attention from complete strangers like this.

Women would raise an eyebrow, men would turn their heads as they walked out of jealousy and lust. Ms Kayama's lips still curved. She'd shut her eyes and wave as people nodded at her. Kirishima thought those strangers would think '_What a lovely woman'. _What a clever lie.

It was a cute, small cafe. It was a bright white color with light pink lettering on the building that read _No Doze Cafe. _Many people were sitting outside despite the weather.

"There's a spot right there," Ms Kayama said and grabbed Kirishima's sleeve. Leading him to the looped steel chairs, "It's a nice place, huh? They have the best chocolate cake I've ever had."

Kirishima nodded and pulled out the chair. Ms Kayama hung her purse up before digging inside and pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

"You smoke, don't you? Want one?"

"N-no, Ms Kayama."

Ms Kayama sighed and opened the pack. It was expected. She knew it would be hard for Kirishima to act so casual. She put the cigarette between her lips and lit it. Kirishima picked up a little paper menu and started to look over the cafe treats. Ms Kayama took a smooth drag, the smoke danced out of her lips. A cigarette never looked so pleasing to Kirishima. A waiter came by for their order. Ms Kayama ordered two coffees, chocolate cake for herself and apple pie Kirishima chose. Kirishima put his hands in his lap and tried not to stare at Ms Kayama as best as he could. Ms Kayama tapped her fingers on the round table.

"I almost forgot to ask,how are you today, Kirishima? Well I hope." Ms Kayama said.

"I'm alright… I'm kind of confused on what we're _really_ doing here." Kirishima scratched his wrist.

"Do you think I've tricked you to a cup of coffee?" She made it sound ridiculous.

"No, ma'am," Kirishima muttered, "How are you?"

"I'm good, thank you for asking."

"Are you sure?"

"Hehe, oh? Are you trying to shrink me now?" Ms Kayama chuckled and asked her cigarette on the ground, "I'm sure I am alright, Kirishima."

"Then what are we doing here?"

Ms Kayama scrunched her lips up briefly and then sighed. She put her palm on her cheek and looked towards the bustling street. Kirishima had no idea what would make her think this would be a casual conversation. That Ms Kayama could skirt around a real issue.

"My friend got engaged this weekend," Ms Kayama said, "She told me she had never been happier in her life and showed me this flashing diamond ring. I said to her, '_congratulations'. _But all I felt was… loneliness."

"Ms Kayama?"

The waiter sat down the coffee, the pie and cake soon followed. Ms Kayama picked up the fork and took a bite. What was she to say? How much could she truly reveal to a patient if she's feeling _blue._

"I'm thirty-one, Kirishima. I haven't had a steady partner in years, and every man I meet ends up leaving." Ms Kayama chewed her food, "I've always been looking for love. Even while I studied in college and worked as a psychiatrist, I was always open to the idea of juggling a family. That would be perfect in my mind."

Ms Kayama began to smile again. Fantasizing the life she could have, being a successful doctor along with being a wonderful wife. She and her husband would arrive home at the same time, have a drink, she would have red wine and he would indulge in a beer. They would start to work on dinner as they discussed their day while feeling their bodies playfully. Ending the night with kisses and sweet nothings. But this wasn't her fate. No matter how successful she was, how much beauty flooded her, or how generous her personality was, no man would hold on to her too tight. She wanted to feel loved, she wanted to be tied down.

"Ms Kayama, I'm sorry about how you feel but… I'm not sure if I can help you out." Kirishima said.

Ms Kayama chuckled and placed the cigarette between her teeth, "I know… I know, I didn't ask you to come out with me just for you to help me," Ms Kayama said, "I just needed someone to listen. And I thought you we be the best person to do so."

Kirishima rubbed his arm. That was weird, a shrink seeing you long enough, analyzing you and figuring that once they had problems like you, that you would be good enough. Was he the best because of how he felt? How Kirishima often felt lonely and questioning all of his relationships constantly. That lingering feeling of solitude around the corner. Because of these issues, Ms Kayama felt safe with the young man. Kirishima picked up his fork and crunched into the pie, steam appeared.

"My mother didn't marry my father until she was pregnant with me," Kirishima said, "She never thought they would marry, that they would just be a fling. But once she knew she was having me, that's when she told me they truly fell in love with each other. Maybe a baby won't bring you and a guy together but maybe something unexpected will."

"Hm… Unexpectedness. What a beautiful thought," Ms Kayama sipped her coffee, "Have you talked to your mother lately?"

Kirishima nodded, "Just last week. She checks up on me every couple of weeks to make sure I'm doing alright. That I'm doing laundry, eating healthy, making friends. Stuff like that."

"Have you talked to her about you and Bakugou? You two are pretty much dating at this point aren't you?"

"Bakugou and I aren't dating. We're friends that just… do stuff together," _Do stuff. _How unsettling to say, "But no, I haven't even brought up to her that he even exists. I'd rather her not know."

"How come? Will she not accept you?"

"No, no. She's never been against me liking a guy before. She started telling me once I got into middle school; '_baby boy, if you ever like a man, just tell me and I'll let it be'. _But of course I've never had to tell her that."

"Are you worried she wouldn't like Bakugou?"

"My ma likes everyone."

"So then what's stopping you?"

Kirishima shrugged and grabbed some sugar packets to put in his coffee. He shrugged and stirred his coffee. He had been through this enough, he knew the answer.

"It's just me. I don't know maybe if I tell her then that means Bakugou and I are getting serious."

"You don't want it to get serious."

Kirishima blew on the coffee and then drank, "We're both going through things right now. Neither one of us should think about getting serious."

"What do you mean by that? Is something wrong with Bakugou?"

"It's not him…" Kirishima chewed his cheek, should he say? "It's his mom. She's been sick and… I think she's getting worse."

"What's she sick with?"

"I don't know, Bakugou won't tell me. He just says she's sick and that she's going to die from it…," Kirishima stared down into his coffee cup, "I want to help him… Ms Kayama, tell me how I can help him, please?"

Ms Kayama had a mellow smile. She pushed her glasses up and stubbed out her cigarette with her heel. These were easy questions she could answer.

"Well, number one you can't tell him how he should be feeling. You try to have empathy more than trying to fix the attitude. A grieving person doesn't want to be told what they're feeling is wrong. Grief makes us act out in ways that we thought we never would."

"Okay…"

"Just really sure you listen to them and be careful with what you say. You don't want to bring up triggering or insensitive topics or words."

"Right…"

"And make sure you show you care. You know, simple little gestures to know you're there to help."

Ms Kayama kept rambling on like this, but Kirishima wasn't listening anymore. None of this advice sounded like it would actually be helpful to Bakugou. It didn't seem like it would fix anything. Maybe it was because grief was something that couldn't be remedied by keeping open ears. That a backrub and a hug wouldn't help the fact that Bakugou's mother was dying, and that he will continue to be pained every moment that it happens. Kirishima tapped the side of his coffee cup before taking another sip.

"Does that help you?" Ms Kayama asked, tilting her head.

Kirishima nodded, "Yes ma'am. Thank you."

"You're always so polite, Kirishima. But please don't keep calling me _ma'am," _Ms Kayama chuckled and waved her hand, "It makes me seem so old."

"Will do."

There was a quietness, but only briefly before Ms Kayama was reminded of something. She made a little '_o'_ with her mouth and put her finger up. She unzipped her purse and started to pick up and put down a few finally found what she was looking for. She pulled out a small, long box, wrapped in shiny paper. Ms Kayam slid it across the table to Kirishima, she looked proud of herself. Kirishima shot a glance at her.

"Go ahead, open it. It's an early birthday present from me to you." Ms Kayama said.

"You didn't have to get me a gift," Kirishima said and picked up the box. He started to unwrap it, "You didn't spend too much money on it, did you?"

"It doesn't matter because I won't tell you."

Kirishima clicked his tongue and lifted the top of the box. It was a pen. A nice looking pen, one that looked like it was made out of some kind of wood with a golden tip, band and hook. Kirishima picked it up and examined it, it felt smooth in his hand. Engraved on the side was the word '_Delicate'._

"I thought that since I have you write so much and that you joined that club that you might want a better pen."

Kirishima put the pen back in the box and closed it, "I don't think I've seen such a nice looking writing utensil before."

Kirishima and Ms Kayama giggled. They looked each other in the eye.

"Thank you very much."

"You're welcome."

In that moment, Kirishima felt like he was a favorite of Ms Kayama. But that snake slithered in his mind. Something _had _to happen soon.

"Hey birthday boy!" Kaminari exclaimed as he walked into Kirishima's house.

Kaminari gave him a hug, filled with warmth. Kirishima hugged him back, just without the same amount of strength. He pulled away.

"It's not my birthday just yet," Kirishima said and waved, "Hi, Shinso."

"Yo," Shinso raised his hand before putting it on Kirishima's shoulder, "Happy birthday."

"It's not my birthday yet guys. At least say '_happy early birthday',_" Kirishima rolled his eyes, "Where's everyone else?"

"They're gonna meet us at the club," Kaminari said, "We had to pick up your asses. It wouldn't be very fashionable if you got off the bus to a club."

"Yes, because it's also very fashionable to be going to a nightclub at sixteen," Kirishima sighed, "I still don't know how you got Jiro's mom and dad to let us go."

"_Almost _seventeen," Kaminari corrected, "They love me at the Jiro household. Her parents hope I marry that girl someday."

"Fat chance," Shinso said, draping his arm around Kaminari's shoulder before teasing his hair. Kaminari ginned and grabbed Shinso hand, kissing his knuckle, "Where's Bakugou?"

"He's getting ready in my room," Kirishima said, "But it has taken him an awful long time. I'm going to tell him you guys are here."

"Kay~!" Kaminari exclaimed as he hopped on the couch, pulling Shinso with him. He giggled and pulled him down for a kiss.

Kirishima turned away, a small smile came to his lips as he thought about him and Bakugou kissing on that couch. That Kirishima could be apart of the _make out gang. _He walked down the hall to his room. Kirishima opened the door and was hit with the smell of a skunk as smoke hit his eyes. Bakugou was just now putting on a thin black t-shirt, Kirishima sighed.

"Did you really need to smoke before we went?" Kirishima asked as he leaned on the door frame.

"It calms me down. I'm already mad you're draggin' me out to some shitty club. You don't want me goin' out pickin' a fight, do ya?"

"It'll be fun."

"You always say that, God. You and me have two different versions of what fun is," Bakugou grabbed his scattered ankle boots and started to tie them, "I just want to let you know, you'll never have me do this ever again."

"Sure."

Kirishima wasn't entirely thrilled himself to go out to a club tonight either, but he didn't mind it of course. Bakugou became more of a homebody than himself. He knew where all the pots and pans were. He knew that he could grab any snacks without Kirishima's permission and Bakugou knew that he could leave clothes in Kirishima's drawers. Bakugou wasn't going home too often, and that was Kirishima's fault for that. He wouldn't mind if it actually helped Bakugou but it didn't. It just pushed his problems to the side, and make him grow selfish. Bakugou found a new home rather than a friend, and that was worrisome for Kirishima.

Worried that he was chosen as a back-up plan that Bakugou could fall back on. His brain had tricked itself into thinking that. Kirishima bit his bottom lip and crossed his arms. Bakugou needed to get out, that there was more enjoyment than the safe space known as Eijiro Kirishima's empty house.

Bakugou groaned as he got off the bed. He picked up his red bomber jacket, he walked over to Kirishima. Examining him. Kirishima wore a denim jacket, white t-shirt, black jeans. Bakugou tilted Kirishima's chin and pecked his lips. Kirishima closed his eyes even though the moment was brief.

"Your breath stinks." Kirishima said and went in for another kiss.

"Whatever."

Kirishima gave him another kiss. Lasting longer before he pat Bakugou's chest, "Come on, if we wait any longer Kaminari and Shinso might start doing more than making out on my couch."

"You're the one that keeps kissin' me."

Kirishima grabbed Bakugou's sleeve and guided him out of the room, Bakugou closed the door as they made their way to the living room. The four of them went to the car Shino borrowed from his father. He drove as Kaminari kept tickling his neck with his fingers and kisses here and there. Bakugou looked grumpy as he stared out of the window, Kirishima's hand was on top of his while music replaced conversations. A sleepy, indie tune from Shinso's playlist.

_Why'd you fill my sorrows,_

_With the words you borrowed._

_From the only place you've known._

Kirishima wanted to lace his fingers with Bakugou's, feel his palm get damp from the heat. Steal that look of unsettlement on his face and suck it down to his lungs. Brush his lips on his cheeks and turn him inside out so Bakugou would wear his heart on his sleeve. Kirishima wanted to pretend to be lovers in the backseat of the car to take Bakugou's mind to a different place. Filled with milk that tasted of honey and naked flesh roamed. He wanted to act more than listen. But he knew he would pull away in such a small space.

_We might make love._

_In some sacred place_

_The look on your face_

_Is delicate._

_So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. See you next update!_


	7. Evil Pill

**New chapters, fellas, make sure you guys give this one some love with follows and reviews please! Trigger warning: drugs and sex in this one. You have been warned. I do not own MHA nor characters used. Enjoy**

_10.14_

_It felt like I was floating. Like my toes were on a cloud and my soul was being cleansed as my body was… Funny enough like a hollow chocolate bunny. Sweet and empty. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have let Bakugou do it either. But his eyes looked inviting, he took me like a vampire. Ravished me with lust, taking my essence and I did the same thing back. My God! I had never felt like this before! I felt renewed, like a bare-assed baby that came into the world giggling. Eyes big and glossy, cheeks pink and plush, and lips supple. I craved touch, craved flesh! I wanted attention, I wanted it from Bakugou. He had tricked me. I think this is how a person should feel. Maybe this is how people already feel. Monster like, almost. I wanted to have fun, and never come down from this high. Bakugou smells like sugar and musk. It'll be the death of me, that scent._

The club was loud, obviously. Music bumping, the building was purple, with flashing red and blue lights that appeared on every stranger faces. The space was large enough to where drunken dancers wouldn't bump into each other and spill their expensive drinks on one another. The bar was long and sleek black color that smelled of booze and perfume. Kirishima stayed close to Bakugou's side as Kaminari and Shinso searched around for the rest of the gang. Kirishima tugged on Bakugou's jacket sleeve.

"It's not that bad." Kirishima murmured against Bakugou's ear.

"It's pretty bad."

"Come on," Kirishima tugged, "Once Kaminari finds where the rest of the group is, it'll be better."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Bakugou pulled away from Kirishima, "I need to piss."

"Can't you wait a second till they come back?"

Bakugou inhaled, "Kirishima, you will not die if I leave you alone for two fucking seconds," Bakugou had other intentions, he hid it by leaning down and giving Kirishima a kiss on the cheek, "I'll find you later."

"Okay."

Bakugou slinked away and began to blend in the crowd of adults and cigarette smoke. Then disappeared. Kirishima stood alone, looking awkward and uncomfortable. He would feel this way until he would see a familiar face. He soon saw Kaminari dragging Shinso along with Sero, Jiro, and Mina. All of them looking giddy, already having a good time before the "_birthday boy"_ showed up. Kirishima smiled and gave a small wave to the group. They all got incredibly close, crowding around Kirishima.

"Hey Kirishima, big man, eh!?" Sero said as he put Kirishima in a headlock and gave him a noogie. He smelt like weed.

"Happy early birthday, Kiri!" Mina said happily, hugging Kirishima from behind. Her breath was like raspberry vodka.

"Yo, happy birthday." Jiro simply patted his shoulder, her gloss was starting to wear off, as if it was smudge by a cigarette butt.

Kirishima nervously giggled, so many hands and arms around him. It was intense in a mediocre way. A simple group embrace shouldn't be so exhilarating.

"Thanks guys." Kirishima simply said.

"Where's big head at?" Sero asked, "Didn't ditch already did he?"

"He had to use the bathroom."

"Ah that fucker," Mina said and waved her arm. It was playful, she giggled, "He can't stand us."

"Only likes Kirishima, you need to tell us your secret," Sero teased, "Then the both of you can have a _real _social life."

"Stop picking on him," Kaminari said, shooing them away to give Kirishima some space. Kaminari grabbed Kirishima's hand, "Come on, we got our own private room in the back to hang out in."

"_Fancy." _Kirishima said as Kaminari took the lead. The others followed closely behind.

The building was huge, it must have had a few of these private rooms that could hold at least fifteen people in them comfortably. Kirishima thought about how loaded Jiro's family must have been but didn't bring it up. There was a big booth, and on the table of it was an assortment of items. An assortment of booze, shot glasses, real glasses, beer bottles, cigarettes, party hats, napkins with balloons on them, black forks, shiny bags with presents in them, and a white cake shielded with a plastic bubble. How lucky these teens were to ever have gathered all of these items. Kirishima wondered how these people, these friends, had set up birthday parties for each 's must have been a concert. Kaminari must have wanted sex and cake till he was sick. Shinso had a slumber party. Sero was gifted a dozen THC cookies. Mina had a kiss from a boy she never knew. And Bakugou. Bakugou wanted nothing. Yes, this was a birthday party for a man. But Kirishima had yet to see him. _Yet._

"Here," Shinso passed a shot glass to Kirishima, everyone helped one another to a shot, "Hold your nose and tip back your head."

"Hold your nose and tip back your head!" They all shouted in unison as if they had been saying it all night. But it was still early.

So Kirishima pinched his nose, closed his eyes and hoped everyone else did the same. Few cheered, few groaned, and only one stayed silent. Kirishima shook his head as the alcohol burned his throat. They fed Kirishima, Kaminari and Shinso another shot immediately, saying that since they got here so late they needed to catch up. After a few back pats and lingering on each others shoulders, it was time to move.

"Come on, let's go back out and dance!" Mina said, she directed it to everyone but she held both of Sero's hands.

"Yeah, I wanna see those moves Kirishima has." Kaminari laughed and nudged him.

"Heh, thanks but I think I'm just going to try and find Bakugou. He doesn't know we got a room."

As the group walked out of the room Kaminari shrugged.

"You and him are attached at the hip, huh?" Kaminari said.

"It probably just looks like that to you guys."

"Well duh, he only ever wants to hang out with you. You're the only one who can drag him out to stuff like this. He really likes you," Kaminari smiled, "I'm glad that he does. I'm glad he sneaks you kisses and how you hold his hand in car rides. It's cute."

Kirishima's stomach jumped for whatever reason. He had already told Kaminari and Shinso what had been going on with the both of them. Only to tell them to keep it a secret.

"I'm going to find Bakugou. We'll meet up with you guys afterwards." Kirishima said.

Kaminari nodded, "We'll be here. Once we get smashed some more you'll open your presents, okay?"

"Okay."

They went their separate ways. One fell back into their partners arms and one went towards toilets. Right when Kirishima got to the bathroom area, he quickly spotted Bakugou. Kirishima was happy he saw Bakugou so quick, but Bakugou had a strange look on his face. Like he was a child that was trying to hide something. Kirishima swung his arm in the air and started to walk towards Bakugou. Bakugou's eyes locked with Kirishima's he began charging towards Kirishima and grabbed his wrist.

"Put your fuckin' hand down," Bakugou grumbled and pulled his hand to his side, "Where is everyone?"

"They went to dance. Jiro's parents gave us a killer private room, after we dance for a bit I think we-"

"Where's the private room at?" Bakugou interrupted. His grip was still tight.

"Uh… it's over that way," Kirishima pointed, "But-"

"Come on."

Bakugou began to pull Kirishima along. It was like dejavu, Kirishima had been here before. Bakugou acted like the night he kissed Kirishima for the first time. Like he had a plan and that no twist of fate would change that. But what could it be? What was the destination and what would Bakugou do with him?

Bakugou flung open the door and tossed Kirisima into the room before he could protest. He shut the door, Kirishima stepped close to him.

"What do you want to come in here for? Everyone else is out there having a good time."

"Fuck 'em. Me and you are about to have a better time."

"Bakugou," Kirishima whined, "Why do you always do this? Why don't you ever want to hang out with everyone else? They want to hang out with you."

"No they don't."

"Yes they do."

"Stop arguin' with me will ya?"

That gusto. If Bakugou could be a noise when he was acting like this, he'd be the sound of someone slamming all their fingers down on piano keys. There was no way to quell it, so Kirishima crosses his arms, and shot him a dirty look that held little commitment. Bakugou sighed, dug his hand in his jacket picked and walked towards the booth. He pulled out his cigarette pack and placed it on the table as he sat down, he popped one in his mouth and held one out for Kirishima. Peace offering. Kirishima accepted the cig, but didn't sit down. The flame from the lighter glowed on Bakugou's face, Bakugou didn't hand it off to Kirishima. If he wanted it, he would have to come closer.

"Why'd you drag me in here?" Kirishima asked.

"Cause I want you here with me."

"For what, exactly?"

Bakugou dug in his jacket pocket again, he pulled out a plastic baggie, slapping it on the table, "For that."

It was two tablets. They were a red color pressed into hearts. Kirishima turned his head, he moved closer out of curiosity and picked up the bag. He sat down next to Bakugou.

"What are these?"

"Ecstasy tabs."

"Ecstasy?" Kirishima put the bag down and faced Bakugou, "Where did you get this?"

"Some random guy in the bathroom was selling them. Ten dollars a tab."

Kirishima ran his fingers through his hair and chuckled. Strands fell in his face,"You never had to use the bathroom did you?"

"I knew someone would have to have them in a place like this. A chick was in the bathroom selling cocaine next to him." Bakugou exhaled.

"Shit…" Kirishima shook his head, "You just wanted drugs? What is wrong with you?"

"What would make you think otherwise? I don't like these kinds of things, I gotta find some way to enjoy it."

"Fuck off, you act like this is the worse place to be in the world. And the only way to ease your _suffering _is altering it. Why can't you just be happy with what you have?"

At this point, kirishima was standing up again, and the cigarette Bakugou had given him was broken in two, his hand smelled like tobacco. It was wrong for Bakugou to be like this in a place like this. This was where bonds were made, music to dance to, and never a dull moment. This was a place of action. And all Bakugou wanted to do was leave. This made Kirishima frustrated, it wasn't fair that Bakugou could just change plans on a whim and not care about the consequences. But then Bakugou grabbed his balled up fist and made it a palm again. His fingertips linked with Kirishima's.

"I can't just settle, Kirishima," Bakugou muttered, "Sit down next to me. Let me do what I do best."

Kirishima blushed. For whatever reason, the mixture of those words somehow sounded beautiful to Kirishima. Maybe it was how Bakugou's name rolled off of his tongue so easy and wasn't met with an insult. How gentle, the noise he made now. It made Kirishima's heart beat faster.

"And what would that be?"

"Making the decisions," Bakugou kisses Kirishima's knuckles. He looked up at him. Fuzzy little pupils, "Now sit down and take one of these tabs with me, okay baby?"

_Baby. _What had gotten into this boy? It was strange, but very persuading. Kirishima wished that a guy like Bakugou never liked him. He was already weak, but Bakugou made him utterly vulnerable. So Kirishima sat down Bakugou opened the baggie and placed a tab between Kirishima's fingers. He pulled Kirishima's back towards his chest.

"What… what does it do?" Kirishima asked.

"Makes you feel hot," Bakugou said and kissed Kirishima's earlobe, his hands wrapping around his shoulders. He began to rub, "Like your insides are made of fuzz."

"What else?"

"You'll wanna kiss. You'll wanna touch. You'll be kinda thirsty," Kirishima felt Bakugou's eyelashes flutter close on his neck, "You'll have some much energy in you that you won't know what to do with yourself." Bakugou whispered.

Kirishima bit his bottom lip, "Did you already take one of these?"

"In the bathroom before you got me, yeah. It's startin' to kick in. Come on and join me. You'll feel good."

Kirishima was thinking too much and Bakugou knew this. Bakugou took the tab from Kirishima, he pressed his thumb on Kirishima's bottom lip, making his mouth part. His thumb was being warmed by Kirishima's breath.

"You don't have to be so worried," Bakugou said as his thumb rubbed Kirishima's bottom lip, "I won't let nothin' bad happen to ya."

Kirishima felt like he was turning into goop.

"Promise?"

"I promise you."

Kirishima licked his lips. He pulled Bakugou's hand away, "I'm scared…" Kirishima whispered.

"When have you ever not been scared? You've been scared of everything since the moment I met you," A harsh reality, "For once in your life don't you want to be carefree?"

Kirishima chewed his cheek. His chest felt tight. He swallowed the funny pill and rubbed his throat afterwards. Bakugou wrapped his arms around Kirishima's waist, his hand moving up Kirishima's shirt with little protest. Kirishima was still processing the fact that he took a drug he wasn't sure about, so his didn't notice Bakugou's fingers on his belly. Or the fact that Bakugou's legs were spreading and he was pulling Kirishima closer and closer to him. As he waited for the pill to kick in, Bakugou tickled Kirishima's neck with kisses. He felt like there was a fire in his groin, waiting sucked for Bakugou, that was for sure.

But soon, Kirishima's eyes dilated, becoming so black, the beat of the music started to sync with his heart beat, which was freaky. Kirishima's leg began to bounce, while little giggles escaped his lips when nothing was funny. This caused him to press his fingers in his mouth. Bakugou started to lift up Kirishima's shirt once he felt the vibrations. Kirishima sunk into Bakugou and gave him a lustful look.

The pill made him wonder what their naked bodies would feel like smooshed together. Kirishima wondered what it would be like to be completely absorbed into Bakugou. If he gave in and let himself truly turn into a puddle and let Bakugou take control like he always liked to do. He wanted it, for once Kirishima wanted something so badly he wouldn't cower away.

"This isn't that bad," Kirishima said as his hand moved to the back of Bakugou's neck, "I feel like a sugar cube in a cup of green tea. How do you feel?"

"Like a bitch in heat," Bakugou made his move and placed his hand under Kirishima's ass, giving the cheek a squeeze, "I want ya bad, Kirishima."

"Yeah?" Kirishima blushed, he turned around and comfortably sat on Bakugou's lap. Arms around his shoulders. He pressed his chest against Bakugou's, "I want you to."

And with that, they kissed. They had no care if anyone came in on them while like this. Distortion must have been apart of the drug too. Their mouths smacking together with how hard they pressed their lips. Bakugou's hair felt like silk thread between his fingers, his hips already rocking against Bakugou's crotch. The both of them were already getting hard. This must have been magic. Bakugou squeezed Kirishima's ass harder while Kirishima pressed his palm against Bakugou's dick. He let out a guttural moan, head tipping back, Kirishima's touch was a sensory overload. Bakugou took off Kirishima's jacket and then quickly after his shirt. Bakugou pressed his mouth to Kirishima's pecks and began to kiss and suck on the tender flesh. Kirishima let out a moan, he began to sweat as he undid Bakugou's belt and unzipped his pants. Bakugou clenched his eyes close as his tongue swirled around Kirishima's nipple. Kirishima spat in his palm and began to stroke Bakugou's cock rather quickly and rough, Bakugou enjoyed every ounce of it. His breathing ragged on Kirishima's chest, Kirishima's moans filled the air. If they were doing this in a quieter place, Kirishima believed that people on the streets would be able to hear them.

Bakugou pulled away from Kirishima, breathing hard.

"Stop, stop, you're gonna make me cum if you keep going like that." Bakugou said.

"Isn't that what you want?" Kirishima chuckled.

"I do but I don't want my shirt and pants to have fuckin' cum on them," Bakugou pulled Kirishima off of his lap. He started to take his jacket and shirt off, "Stand up and take off your pants. Underwear too."

"For what?" Kirishima teased in a way he never had before.

"You know why, now come on and take 'em off."

Kirishima chuckled and as he started to peel his pants off, "Now what?" He asked.

Bakugou grabbed Kirishima's wrist and guided him to the front of the booth table. Bakugou tried to create an empty space as he turned Kirishima around and pushed him down. Kirishima gasped and propped his elbows on the table, looking back at Bakugou. He blushed an ungodly red color, Bakugou traced his fingers down Kirishima's spin, sending tingles all throughout Kirshima's body. Bakugou kissed his shoulder as he spread Kirishima's legs. Bakugou squatted, he bit Kirishima's cheek, earning a small squeal, Kirishima's back arched up. Bakugou licked his tongue on Kirishima's ass as he spread his cheeks, Kirishima bit his knuckle. Kirishima closed his eyes. Bakugou began to lick the hole, Kirishima felt like liquid. He thought something like this would make him clench up and become embarrassed. Instead he felt like liquid, his shoulders relaxed as he tipped his head back and moaned. That fueled Bakugou to lick faster and slobber more, Kirishima bit his bottom lip and grinded his ass back on Bakugou's face. Bakugou lowered his head, he sucked Kirishima's balls as he gently nudged two of his fingers against Kirishima's hole. Kirishima's eyes fluttered, he wasn't tense, he wasn't anxious, he moved back to let Bakugou know he was ready for it and wanted it. So he pressed on and began to move his fingers in and out, slowly at first. Kirishima panted hard, his head hanging low as moan after moan poured out of his mouth. It wasn't as painful a he thought it would be, it felt intense. Maybe it was his altered state but, it made Kirishima wonder what else he was missing? What else did that pit in his stomach make him miss out on? Bakugou curled and twisted his two fingers as Kirishima started to loosen up for a few moments. It made Kirishima's knees weak, but Kirishima pulled his hand away.

"Why'd you stop?" Kirishima asked and wiggled his hips. Aching for more.

"Cause I have to ask you a question," Bakugou said, his hand gripped the back of Kirishima's thigh, "I want to have sex. You want to?"

How… _improper._ It probably wasn't the right way to ask someone for intercourse, especially when it's your first time. Kirishima put his hands on the table to pick his stomach and chest off the table to look at Bakugou better. His brow scrunched up, he wiped the sweat off his forehead. Of course his mind wasn't made up on the fact of having sex with Bakugou yet, but his body was longing for some kind of release. What an evil pill this was.

After a moment his nodded his head quickly. He turned around, Bakugou almost naturally wrapped his arms around Kirishima to help his cause. Kirishima did the same. They pressed up together like they were two lost pieces, still lost but have found one another.

"Yeah… Yeah I do."

Bakugou laid Kirishima down on table. Surrounded by his gifts from his friends and open liquor bottles. He could see his reflection in the plastic of the cake cover. It reminded him that other people were here. Friends were here, and they were probably wondering where he went. Unless he didn't mean that much to them. Bakugou started to take off his pants while Kirishima sat up with the back of his elbows.

"Don't we like… Like need some protection?" Kirishima asked.

"Not really but I thought you might ask so I brought a condom with me." Bakugou said and grabbed his jacket, flashing the little golden package and tossing it on the table.

"Do you always carry condoms on you?"

"Only since I ever met you."

That seemed like a lie.

"Won't it hurt?"

"Maybe a little. I don't know. I have a lube packet too so that should help." Bakugou through the blue package as well.

"You must have been holding on to that since you met me too."

"Must have."

Kirishima fell back down on the table. He didn't question it like he should have, all his body did was long for Bakugou's attention. Bakugou grabbed the condom and ripped it open, rolling it over his dick. He opened the lube packet and spread Kirishima's legs open, propping his feet on the table. He poured lube down Kirishima's crack, it was cold against Kirishima's hot skin, it made him jump slightly. Kirishima licked his lips.

"Do you know what you're doing?"

"Do you?"

Silence.

"Are you worried you won't be good?"

"Not when it's your first time."

Bakugou brought his hips to the table and pulled Kirishima's ass closer to the edge of the table, he slid easily. Kirishima could feel Bakugou's cock twitch against his hole. He wondered if it was from anticipation or from nervousness. It was hard to tell. Bakugou leaned down, face to face with Kirishima. Kirishima saw the bigness of his eyes, that they were filled with so many thoughts that wouldn't come out ever. His skin looked blotchy pink.

"You ready?" Bakugou asked

"As ready as I can be."

Bakugou leaned down and kissed Kirishima. It was like cream, airy and delicious, something you'd dollop a pie with. Even if the sweat made it salty, Kirishima placed his hands on Bakugou's cheeks as they kissed, deepening it while Bakugou nudged his way into Kirishima. Kirishima grunted against his lips, his fingers gripping Bakugou's hair tightly as Bakugou moved all the way inside. Kirishima tipped his head back and sighed as Bakugou let him get used to the feeling of fullness.

"You good?" Bakugou asked.

Kirishima nodded his head quickly, "I'm alright, yeah… It doesn't hurt it just feels… _Weird,_I don't know how to describe it."

"Can I move?"

"Yeah, I'll be alright."

Bakugou began to rock his hips with shallow thrusts. Kirishima clenched his sharp teeth together, curling his back up slightly, as Bakugou grunted. Bakugou propped his elbows by Kirishima's head to work his body more. Kirishima's chest rose with his breathing as he loosely wrapped his arms around Bakugou's pants were short, Kirishima let out a long moan. It sounded calm and with love.

"Go faster." Kirishima muttered.

With no second guessing, Bakugou thrusted his hips at a faster tipped his head back with a moan and pressed his chest up to Bakugou's. His arms curled more, one of his legs wrapped around Bakugou's hips, his loud mouth by Bakugou's ear. Kirishima was just driving Bakugou crazy, he flashed his teeth and moved harder.

It felt dirty. The bottles rattled, one tipped over, slamming on its side on the table spilling out on the edge of the tables. They didn't care, as their bodies were in sync, connected to each other with true intimacy that neither one of them had known before. The table was being banged and off centered and kept rocking with the thrusts. Moans filled the room and acted as words. Kirishima's nails dug into Bakugou's back, causing him to groan and only pick up the pace. Kirishima began to move back in the rhythm of Bakugou's thrusts.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum." Bakugou grunted

"Me too… Me too."

Bakugou's thrust became sloppy but there was speed still behind it. The alcohol was making an awful bitter smell, their stink didn't help it. Kirishima stayed close to Bakugou, not wanting to let go, too afraid to fall back on the table and be lost. So much camostion. So much passion. What a loveable, little drug. Kirishima came, cum on his tummy and in his bellybutton. But he continued to be a trooper and rocked back until Bakugou thrusted deep into Kirishima's swollen body and came hard, letting out a guttural moan. He fell on top of Kirishima, both of them panting against their earlobes. Kirishima hugged Bakugou securely as they both calmed down, spots were in their eyes. Bakugou pulled out and had to peel off Kirishima, he threw away the condom and grabbed his underwear and pants. Kirishima sat on the table and fixed his hair.

"Was it good?" Kirishima asked as he hopped down and grabbed his underwear.

"Yeah, it felt really good. Not like how I expected." Bakugou said, putting his pants on.

"Oh yeah? How did you think it was gonna go?" Kirishima put on his shirt. He stunk.

"Instead of asking a million questions you only asked a couple," Bakugou said, the only thing that was close to a joke that he would say, "You were relaxed, you let yourself go. You didn't have that stupid worried look on your face like you always have. And you felt fantastic, even with a condom on."

Kirishima smiled and got fully dressed, minus the jacket, his blood was too hot for a jacket. He picked up the spilled liquor bottle and placed a few birthday napkins on the ground a table to sop it up he moved everything back where it was before.

"Thanks, you did good too." Kirishima said.

As Bakugou put on his belt, Kirishima wrapped his arms around Bakugou's waist.

"Are you gonna want that more often? After this stuff wears off?" Kirishima muttered into Bakugou's back.

"I'd like to." Bakugou's belt clicked.

"Does that mean you want to be more than friends?"

"Yes."

"Boyfriends?"

"That's a step above friends."

"Usually it goes 'friends' and then 'best friends'."

"We were already best friends which pisses me off because I don't need anymore friends," Bakugou turned around and tipped up Kirishima's chin, "I need someone like you with me."

He kissed Kirishima. At that point, Kirishima realized how much of a sweet talker Bakugou had been. Words like hard candy, phrases like that would be the end of Kirishima. And not in a sexy way. Not in a playful way. Bakugou pulled his lips away. Kirishima held both of Bakugou's hands. He didn't reply to the idea of a relationship.

"You… wanna go back out there?" Bakugou surprisingly asked.

Kirishima nodded, "Yeah. We probably should. They might think we already dipped knowing you."

Bakugou rolled his eyes, "Yeah yeah, I get it, I'm known for hating people, let's go already."

"You do it to yourself, you know?"

They left the room, and with that they left their scent. They left their mark and entered the reality that they were supposed to be in this whole time. Real smells tickled their noses, real music reached their ears, real bodies brushed against them till they easily spotted their bustling group. They all waved in excitement, immediately Bakugou was razed by Sero and Mina.

"Jesus! We thought you might have died on the toilet!" Sero shouted and draped his arm around Bakugou's shoulder, only to receive a glare.

"We thought you might have flushed Kirishima down with you." Mina joked and hugged Bakugou from behind.

"What the fuck are you two doing on me? Get off, will ya?

Of course this didn't happen, if Bakugou had gotten this out of the way earlier maybe this wouldn't have happened. But that was doubtful. Kirishima felt a tug on his wrist from Kaminari who pulled him aside from the group. He hopped on a bar stool and Kirishima followed, his legs hurt as he sat down.

"Where the hell have you two been? It's been more than half an hour since I've seen you guys."

"If you were so worried you should have looked for us."

"Answer me, Eijiro."

"We were just in the private room," Kirishima said, thinking of a good line to say next, "We just smoked a few cigarettes and drank"

"Yeah, your backwards shirt really screams smoking and drinks."

Kirishima perked up and looked down, his shirt tag was at his collarbone, he sighed and rubbed his red face.

"So do you really want to say what you were doing in there or am I supposed to guess?"

Kirishima pushed his bangs out of his face and breathed out, "We… we had sex." Kirishima whispered.

"You _what?_"

"We had sex, okay?"

Kaminari shook his head rapidly, "No way. That's something that I would do with Shinso if I'm feeling frisky enough, but you? And _Bakugou? _No chance in hell you two would ever do that. I didn't even think you two were having sex yet, just make out session and a blowjob here and there."

"We haven't really been having sex… This was the first time we've ever done it."

Kaminari's eyes got so big, Kirishima thought they'd pop out of his head. But that changed, and he laughed loudly, shoving Kirishima's shoulder roughly. Kaminari put his hand on his forehead.

"You fucking dog, you! I can't believe you!" Kaminari said with excitement, "Happy fucking birthday, Kirishima! I can't believe it, you actually do have guts in that stomach of yours, huh?"

"Thanks, I guess." Kirishima rubbed his shoulder.

"I never knew you and him would be that kind of friends with benefits." Kaminari was having a real laughing fit.

"Well um… I don't think we really are."

"What do you mean?"

"He… He wants to get kind of serious I think."

"Serious? Bakugou? What did you do, hit him in the head while you guys banged? " Kaminari jokes, "I never thought that Bakugou would be in a relationship before. Congratulations."

"I didn't say I would be his boyfriend"

"Oh, well, why not?"

_Yeah, why not?_

"I just… I just don't think it's a good time for us to really be in one."

"But it was a good enough time to have sex with him?"

"It just was okay, stop talking about that," Kirishima said and ran his fingers through his hair, "I do like him, I like being with him and he likes being with me but… Kaminari me and him just have too many personal problems that we just can't work out yet and… And I don't know… it'll... just end in disaster."

Kaminari groaned, "I give you a compliment on how spontaneous you were and now I have to go back on it. I get it,okay? I've known Bakugou for a long time and I know about his home life and what it's done to him but… But you're so good for him, Kirishima."

Kirishima bit his bottom lip, "What do you think I should do?"

Kaminari sighed and really thought about what he would say next. Something he rarely ever did. This must have been important to him.

"I think you should try. Cause… Cause in this life we can only try, right? We can only give it our all and if something goes wrong at least you'll know that you did it. And that you tried."

How philosophical and how ironic that these thoughtful words came out of an idiot.

"Try?"

"Try."

"Try."

_So I hope you guys enjoyed. Review, follow and favorite if you did. See you next update._


	8. Ophelia

**Hey fellas! New chapter for you guys. If you liked it a review, ****favorite, and/or a follow would be mighty appreciated! I do not own MHA nor the characters and song used. Enjoy!**

_10\. 25_

_In Hamlet, the most famous line is "To be, or not to be. That is the question." My favorite is "I was the more deceived" by Ophilia. Because Hamlet at this point has revoked his love for her, and it puts her through true pain. The pain of not knowing a person. To be tricked by them. To have loved them and then learn it was only a lie. When I was in the institution I did a lot of reading, and there was a woman a little older than me (nineteen maybe) who reminded me of Ophelia. She was pale all over and thin, she was delusional. Months before this her fiance had broken off their wedding because he had found another woman, she stabbed him and ended up there. Muttering to herself over wedding ideas. She too was deceived, and as Ophilia did, she also went mad. One day I thought she might drown in the toilet too, but I left before I knew what became of her. I've been thinking about that girl often as of late. It must be because of the plays Mr Aizawa has been giving us to read. It reminds me how sad tragedies make me feel. I don't want to be deceived. I don't want to be alone. _

The writing prompt today was _Loss._ A sense of loss. Being lost. Losing what meant a lot of nothing to you. It didn't matter, Kirishima didn't do the writing prompt this time, he wasn't in the mood, he really was the only club member to be able to do something like that. Since there wasn't any club members to begin with. Shinso couldn't lose a single one of them. Maybe he wrote about that for _Loss. _Today, only two writers showed up that weren't Kirsihima or Shinso and they didn't do much, only scribbled in their notebooks and they weren't willing to share. They left maybe fifteen minutes ago. Mr Yamada had left early to go on a date but the room was at their disposal, how mature. Shinso rubbed his eyes, they looked like they ached, Shinso could sleep for ten days straight and he'd still be so tired. The poor boy. Maybe he wrote about losing sleep. Kirishima didn't know since Shinso's paragraph didn't end with a period. Kirishima was busy reading _Titus Andronicus _and taking notes as he went. Shinso slapped his pencil down on the paper and pinched his brow.

"You know, some days I think this club is completely useless and the worst idea I ever agreed to contributing to." Shinso spilled.

"Well that came out of nowhere."

"No, it had been building since Mr Yamada made me class president of this shit club."

"Your club is not shit, Shinso," Kirishima folded the corner of his book and placed it on the table, "Just… many high schoolers aren't willing to do this you know? Just spill their guts on a page and have others listen to it."

Shinso ran his fingers through his messy hair.

"I thought that maybe just _maybe _this would be the club where that didn't matter. That students could talk about wanting to jump off a cliff as long as it was poetic. Or that they hate their mom by using vivid adjectives or that they're pregnant while using exhilarating verbs. I wanted rawness."

Kirishima giggled, "Teenagers aren't brave enough for that. You have too much faith in them."

"Tch… cowards… every last one of them." Shinso muttered, putting his chin to the table.

Kirishima put his hand to his cheek and looked at the frustrated young man. All he wanted was to do good and all that came out of it was nothing. Nothing truly good and nothing truly bad. It wasn't anything.

"What did you write about today, Shinso?" Kirishima asked.

"I wrote about one time how Kaminari broke up with me." Shinso said, like a breeze.

"I never knew that. I thought you two had the best relationship there ever was."

"We don't really talk about it."

"Would you like to share with the club?"

"Only if I can sit down while I read aloud."

"I think the club will allow that."

Shinso leaned back in his chair, grabbing the notebook and setting it in his lap. He snapped the notebook a few times to straighten up the spine. He wanted someone to ask him about this, that's why he did this so gracefully, even if this was a silly place to share.

"'_He kissed me before he slapped me because he was for sure he would never be able to do it again. I had been trying a cocktail of downers so I could get a good night's rest. This was the only time I had tried this. But all it did was make me a blithering idiot with drooping eyes and drooling lips. I told my doctors different things to get different prescriptions. I had read it on a thread. I thought if one wasn't helping, four or five would. I would pass out and call that a good night's rest. I talked to no one for weeks and call that a nap. I'd miss phone calls and call it a day dream,'" _ Shinso licked his lips and rubbed his chin, "' _One day, I can't remember what day of the week it was but my parents weren't home. He barged in, asked me what was wrong with me. If my brain had melted, if my mouth had become numb. He saw this arrangement of pills and I told him I was sleepy. He told me I was a moron. But he knew what I was going through, he knew day one how much it pained me to try and get eight hours. How I would give anything just to sleep. To feel rested. So he cried, he screamed, it all felt like a dream. He knew he couldn't help me sleep. I was barely listening but I remember the motion of the noise. So he sobs, he kisses me, hits me, then leaves. He was just so frustrated. And with that he showed me the shell of a man I was. Knowing he was gone, knowing he wanted to give up on me. I got on my regular prescription. A week later I showed up at his house this time, dizzy eyed as always and told him-' _… that's all I wrote."

Kirishima's mouth felt dry. How gracefully Shinso's words came off the page, how his words were airy and delicate. What a cliffhanger, a real author move.

"What did you say to Kaminari?"

Shinso let on a smile, "I told him that I love him for the first time. And that I never meant to put him through that feeling of loss, that I had been found through him. That I didn't want to lose him."

"You didn't say that last part."

"No, I didn't, but I did tell him that I love him and apologized. It sounds more poetic the way I told it though," Shinso took a deep breath through his nose and let it out through his mouth, "God that felt good, see I want other people to do the same thing. Just… have all the weight off their shoulders. I want people to confess, dammit."

He sounded like a true visionary of the angsty and the depressed. Shinso wanted people to believe in the faith of writing your emotions and turning that into a story. But those people usually don't show up to school clubs and do that. Not unless you've been doing it for six months like Kirishima. Shinso places his head back down on the table and curled his arms around his chin. He seemed defeated, and Kirishima didn't like that too much. He too felt like a confession may have been needed. Only for a friend though.

"Whenever I had to move here by myself, I felt like I was losing my mom." Kirishima said.

Shinso shifted his eyes up at Kirishima, "Why would you think that?"

"Well, I don't think it now. She calls pretty often to tell me how much she misses me and sends me little packages in the mail, but when she told me that she was sending me far away from her… I don't know, it felt like she gave up on me. That I was such a horrible son that I drove her to get rid of me."

He still felt like a horrible son.

"Kirishima," Shinso lifted up his head and turned his body, "What did you do that made you such a horrible son?"

This was it. This moment, right here, to finally say what screwed him up so badly inside. What made him so shy, what made him such a coward. He frightened himself so much. Kirishima often scared himself because everyday he wondered what would be his downfall again. Maybe this was it. Maybe it was what he needed. Maybe this writer would be his salvation.

"I had a mental breakdown and tried to kill myself. My doctors thought that if I moved and changed the scenery and therapist visits would help."

"Why did you have a breakdown?"

_A story. A tale._

Kirishima sadly chuckled, recalling that day, "I was walking home from school. I saw this group of girls giggling and talking as they went home and I realized… I was incredibly lonely. I felt so alone that the fact that one of those girls waved and smiled at me made me feel like the loneliest person on Earth. That it was just me that believed this," Kirishima pushed back his bangs, "It's like feeling your body turn on you. That your blood is toxic. And I didn't want to go on feeling like that. I really felt like being dead was the only option I had left."

They let that settle. Like tea leaves going down to the bottom of a cup. In the empty classroom, words echoed like distant bombs so they didn't take cover. Shinso clicked the pen in his hand.

"Do you think being dead is still your best option?" Shinso asked.

"As of late, no."

"Are you scared for yourself?"

"Some days, yes. Very. Others, not so much."

"That's when you're with Bakugou, right?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Because he makes you feel like you're worth something," Shinso said. He was so straight forward. Shinso chose the road less traveled on, "Since Bakugou doesn't care for anyone like he cares about you it makes you feel good and that you're not alone. You find comfort in the fact that he's unpredictable."

Kirishima didn't respond. Kirishima began to bite his thumb nail, afraid he said too much and it would get him in trouble. Shinso changed the topic, only somewhat though.

"You two haven't been dating long, right?"

"We started on my birthday party so no. Like, a week maybe a little more than that."

"What made you think he wanted to date you?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think it'll last between you two?"

"I don't know."

"Do you love him?"

"This has nothing to do with what you really want to talk about."

"You're right, it doesn't. Sorry."

Silence. He shouldn't have snapped like that since Kirishima chose to open his mouth in the first place. It wasn't right, from one broken person to another.

"I'm sorry, no one came to your club and that they didn't get to hear what you said."

"It's okay," Shinso mumbled, "Can you answer one of my questions though?"

"Which one?"

"What made you think Bakugou wanted to get serious?" Shinso repeated, "He's never dated anyone before, you know? I don't think he's even kissed a person before meeting you and believe me, there were many girls out there who wanted to fix him."

Kirishima looked down at his closed book. His finger circled the cover as his elbow propped up on it. His eyes became half lidded.

"We went to that private room at the club. He bought some ecstasy pills and we had one each- well he had two- and uh, we had sex in there… We never had sex before this. And afterwards he told me he'd like to date me. It was weird though, like it was-"

"Planned?" Shinso interrupted

Kirishima's eyebrows raised, he placed his hands in his lap.

"Yeah. Kinda… It seemed planned when we first kissed too. It was a good plan because I went along with it."

Shinso leaned forward, very serious-like.

"Bakugou has always been a person who wants his way. And he'll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens, you know?"

No. No he didn't know that. Kirishima picked at his thumb nail. He didn't say anything after that, Shinso leaned back in his chair. A Writing club shouldn't have two people in it. Things like this come up. Addiction, sex, suicidal tendancies, they all come into question and creates this long dialoug of unfinished bussiness.

"Do you feel better? After this long talk?"

"Better is probably not the right word."

"Then what is?"

"Relieved," Kirishima faced Shinso, "I feel relieved… the fact that I said all of that to you and didn't feel like crawling into some deep dark place makes me feel… well relieved."

"Thanks."

Kirishima scratched the back of his neck, "Are you going to tell anyone about this?"

"Of course not. This is the Creative Writing club, not the Snitch club. It's not my place to share what you've told me."

Another wave of quietness hit them.

"Next week, I'll write something for the club and share it, okay?"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Bakugou read his book high in the air with one hand. One arm over the couch as Kirishima sat between his legs, head on Bakugou's chest as he too continued to read his book. Bakugou was assigned to read _Hamlet. _From the small speaker, Kirishima played music from his phone so there was no dead air. Just something soft. Something to tell the time. Bakugou tipped back his head and blew out a loud sigh.

"I hate Shakespeare." Bakugou said.

"What do you have against the guy?"

Bakugou closed the book and tossed it on the coffee table. He wasn't worried about forgetting what page he was on. He shifted off Kirishima and moved to sit down on the floor. He pulled open the coffee table drawer and pulled out a bowl and a bag of weed. Kirishima closed his book, his thumb in it however. He rolled onto his stomach and played with Bakugou's hair.

"The fucker should have stuck to writin' sonnets. At least those were only fourteen lines. Not all this five act play shit. It's too long."

"I like Shakespeare," Kirishima said, "I think his plays are interesting. I'm glad Mr Aizawa gave us this to read."

Bakugou broke off the stem of the bud and tossed it on the table. He placed the nugget in the bowl and pulled a lighter from his pocket.

"Give me a cigarette, please?" Kirishima said.

Without missing a beat Bakugou pulled out his pack, half empty and held it up for Kirishima. He took the pack and after he lit the bowl and took a hit, handed the lighter to Kirishima. Kirishima put the cigarette to his lips and lit the end. Kirishima put his book on the table and took a drag.

"He gave you the play no one knows is why you like it," Bakugou said and took the lighter away from Kirishima. Taking another hit, "Everyone knew the plot of _Hamlet _since they were in diapers."

"I've read _Hamlet_ before and I liked it. I thought English was your favorite subject."

"Shakespeare is overrated."

Kirishima chuckled, "You've shaken the English community to the core."

Bakugou rolled his eyes and put his elbows on the table. Something must have been wrong or on his mind. Kirishima sat up on the couch and rubbed Bakugou's shoulders, his muscles felt clenched. But Bakugou sighed and closed his eyes as he let Kirishima's fingers work his bones.

"Who's your favorite Shakespeare character then?" Kirishima asked.

"Tybalt from _Romeo and Juliet. _All he wants to do is just kill the Montagues and cause chaos in the feud. He makes the story interesting."

"Tybalt dies though because of the violence he causes."

"I fuckin' know, I read the same book as you did," Bakugou snapped. Kirishima kissed his shoulder, "Who's your favorite character?"

"Ophelia."

"_Ophelia?_ She's the worst. She's a dumb broad who needs to stop listin' to the men around her."

"Harsh," Kirishima took a drag before slinking behind Bakugou, his hands rubbed Bakugou's arms, "I like Ophelia. She's complicated because of the people around her. She's lost, you know? Just a tortured soul, I feel bad for her."

"She's not real you know?" Bakugou lit the bowl and took another hit, coughing a little afterwards.

Kirishima nuzzled his face against Bakugou's neck, taking in his scent instead of the stinky smell of weed.

"She might be. Somewhere out there."

Bakugou turned around, he grabbed Kirishima's cigarette, he took a drag before he stubbed it out in the full ashtray. Bakugou placed his hands on Kirishima's waist and kissed him. The nasty taste of bud and tobacco was a bad combination but nonetheless, they continued to open their mouths and take each other in. Bakugou turned them to the side and started to lay Kirishima on the floor, Kirishima tangled his fingers in Bakugou's lockes as he lapped his tongue over Bakugou's. Bakugou's hands firmly stayed on Kirishima's hips, the song changed on Kirishima's phone.

_Can I get your number?_

_Can I get you into bed?_

Kirishima bent his leg as Bakugou pressed his groin to Kirishima's as they kissed. Kirishima tugged on the back of Bakugou's shirt, he took it off and pressed his broad chest to Kirishima's. Instantly locking lips with him again. This felt right. Like lovers should randomly make out on the ground and silently become infatuated with them. This had to be right, it just had to be. It felt so good.

_When we wake up in the morning _

_Will you give me lots of head?_

_Everybody wants to love you._

They panted against each others hot lips while Kirishima eagerly started to undo Bakugou's belt and afterwards undid his own pants. Kirishima pressed his hand against Bakugou's crotch and began to rub. Bakugou groaned and tucked his chin towards his chest, Kirishima bit his lip. He looked sexy. Those red swollen lips, that milky skin becoming a tomato red, and eyes tightly closed as he breathed. This was a _man. _

_Everybody wants to love you._

_(Everybody wants to love you.)_

_Everybody wants to love you_

_(Everybody wants to love you.)_

Bakugou started to ride up Kirishima's shirt, but he didn't go for his pecks. He moved his hand to Kirishima's bulge and squeezed. Kirishima gasped and moaned quietly afterwards, he started to blush. It only encouraged Kirishima to lower Bakugou's boxers and finally reveal his hard cock; Bakugou did the same. They opened their eyes, they looked like tiny slits as Bakugou wrapped his hand around his and Kirishima's cock. Kirishima's mouth fell open as he looked at Bakugou, rocking his hips into Bakugou's clammy hand. Kirishima pressed his hands to Bakugou's chest as he moved in a faster jerking motion. Skin on skin, it would sound like a bad idea, but overall, to the two of them, it was a wonderful experience. They let out moans here and there as precum began to form down on Bakugou's fingers.

But then, a phone call came. From Bakugou's phone, not Kirishima's. Kirishima thought Bakugou would continue and let the call go to voicemail. But he quickly moved his hand away, swiftly moved off of Kirishima, and began to pull up his boxers. Kirishima was left to lay on the ground. Bakugou grabbed his phone from the table and picked up.

"Yeah?... Fuck, yeah, yeah…. Yes old man, damn…. The bus runs every five minutes I'll go there right now… No I won't make any stops I'm not a goddamn idiot! It's the same place it's hard to forget the address. Okay… _Okay,_ goodbye."

Bakugou hung up the phone, Kirishima sat up and pulled his underwear up. Bakugou picked up his shirt and put it on.

"Who was that?" Kirishima asked.

"My dad," Bakugou said as he picked up his book and stuffed it in his backpack, "I have to go."

"Now?"

"_Yes, _now."

"Well, what's wrong? Why do you have to go right this instant?."

"Cause my dad told me I have to," Bakugou said, in a frustrated snarky way, "I really don't have time to play twenty questions with you right now, Kirishima."

"Not for you to even tell me what's the matter?" Kirishima stood up. "Is it your mom? Is that why your dad called? Because something happened to her?"

Bakugou said nothing back, he picked up his pen, notebook, wallet, and anything else that he took out earlier, he put it all back in his backpack. He zipped it up quickly and walked towards the door, stepping into his shoes and grabbing his jacket.

"What's wrong?" Kirishima asked, firmer.

No response.

Kirishima huffed and marched over to the door. Kirishima put his palm on the door right when Bakugou tried to open it.

"What's _wrong._" Kirishima repeated.

"Move off of the door." Bakugou muttered. His only response.

Kirishima moved in front of Bakugou and leaned back on the door. Crossing his arms with a nasty glare on his face. Bakugou shot the same look back and that just made Kirishima full up with anger. Bakugou had no right to be upset with Kirishima. Not if he wasn't going to tell him.

"Why can't you tell me what's wrong?! What are you so afraid of?!" Kirishima snapped.

"You have your problems and I have mine."

Kirishima pushed Bakugou's chest, "You trust me enough to start a relationship but not enough to tell me what's going on? That's bullshit. I'm your boyfriend, I have the right to know what's going on with you" Kirishima shoved Bakugou again. "Tell me."

"No."

"Why?!"

Kirishima stomped his foot like an angry child. Not able to understand why the world was so cruel to him and only him yet. This unfairness made Kirishima's blood boil, he thought they were over this. His eyes became wet but no tears. Bakugou grabbed Kirishima by the shoulders and jerked him hard away from the door, Kirishima landed on the armrest of the couch. It hurt his back. Bakugou opened the door.

And just like that he was gone. He slammed the door closed behind him and left. Kirishima gripped the armrest, wide-eyed and confused. He didn't think about going after him. Boyfriends don't just act like that. They just didn't tell their partners anything and then believe they would just accept that, right? That's not how these kinds of things go. Kirishima began to slink down to the floor and rub rubbed his face with one hand. What was wrong with him? What was so wrong about _him. _Kirishima began to sob. He cried and cried and cried. This made him think, really think about what he really was to Bakugou. Thoroughly for once. Not looking for titles and labels on their relationships but looking at previous events to piece together.

The connection they felt on the roof that day, how he offered him a cigarette and still Kirishima never bought his own pack. How Bakugou took him to Midoriya's bedroom to talk to him, intimately and kiss him. That Bakugou was the first to know why Kirishima moved here. But none of these things made Kirishima good enough to deeply know Bakugou. But why? All the evidence was there that would conclude he would be worthy of such trust.

Kirishima rubbed his arm and bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. He felt worthless once again.

_So I hope you guys enjoyed. Review, favorite, and follow if you did. See you next update._


	9. Goodness

**Hey guys! Short update this time but next one will be longer. Please support this story by reviewing, following and/or favoriting the story. I do not own MHA nor the character used. Enjoy!**

**——————————————————————-**

_10.31_

_ That pit in my stomach is becoming bigger and bigger each day that Bakugou won't call. Won't come over. Hasn't even come to school so I can't even see him. Can't hear him. I have just now realized that even if I wanted to seek out Bakugou that I couldn't. He's never even told me his address. How stupid. Really, how stupid am I? Why did we rush this when we had too many problems to juggle in the first place? That I would become a motionless depressed blob if any disruption like this came up. That I'd stop brushing my hair, looking at my appearance in the mirror, late for the bus almost everyday since that day and pretend I was dead. I don't want to be dead, I want to be resurrected. But no amount of messages of hope and love from my friends won't bring me back to life. That's quite sad. I am quite sad. _

_So sad that a person I've known for a little over two months can put me in such deep misery due to their mystery. That I let this boy into my life and now, so soon, he is starting to tear into me. I hate him. I've always hated him. I hate the fact that I thought I knew him, I hate that I let him so close to me, and I hate how he can make me feel this way. I hate him, but I feel the need, that once he comes back, I'll forgive him. Which is that saddest part of this whole thing, that I need him so badly that I will let this go and want to be with him. I've bought several packs of cigarettes._

Kirishima laid on his side, curled up like a fist on Ms Kayama's couch. He came late to his appointment but Ms Kayama would give him the same amount of time like always. Kirishima was sure that Ms Kayama would take a bullet for him at this point. Her kindness was more than a doctor-patient relationship should be. His arms wrapped around his body to feel his own warmth. He wore dark layers upon layers, his hair was unkempt, dark bags under his eyes, not from lack of sleep, but stress. He had looked and acted like this before, one time from not getting a birthday card from his father because the post office has lost it. He was quiet since he stepped foot in her office. Ms Kayama tapped his fingernails on the cover of Kirishima's journal. Trying to find the words to begin their weekly conversation.

"Kirishima, how do you feel?" Ms Kayama asked.

"Not very good." Kirishima muttered, unfazed.

"Do you want to talk more about that?"

"What more is there to talk about?" Kirishima asked, "I feel awful. You read all about it already. I'm sad that we got in a fight and that I haven't heard from him since."

"Well, why do you think he hasn't come around? Surely by now he would have said something to you, right?"

"You know, Ms Kayama," Kirishima grunted as he started to sit up, "I've learned that I don't know why Bakugou does what he does. I thought I did but it turns out I don't. Go figure."

"How does that make you feel?"

Ms Kayama was acting more like a therapist than a wise friend. She could see how disheveled Kirishima was, and instead of seeing him as an equal, she saw him once again as a patient. That he had let himself go again and she had to make sure he wouldn't be destructive to others or, more importantly, himself. This felt fake, and Kirishima was sick of that at this point. He wanted tangible things. Stuff that he knew was factual and real.

"Like shit," Kirishima snapped, "How would you feel if someone you felt close to decided that you weren't good enough to be let in on what was going on in their life? That you gave them so much trust but they won't even give you a crumb. How would you feel?"

"Probably pretty shitty, too," Ms Kayama put her hand on her cheek. This was going nowhere is what she thought, "Do you think it's something with his mother?"

Kirishima crossed his arms and shrugged. Ms Kayama sighed softly and wrote something down in her own notebook. Something she hadn't done in front of Kirishima for awhile now. That stirred something in him. Something bad. That he was going backwards. That he was never working on himself and was just stuck in place.

"Maybe." Kirishima said under his breath.

"Maybe… okay," She tapped her pen on the page of her notebook, "Have you talked to anyone about what happened?"

"No."

"Hmm, not very talkative today."

"Nope."

"Have you been feeling anxious?"

"Yes."

"Depressed?"

"Yes."

"Isolated?"

"Yes."

Ms Kayama exhaled out of her nose, "Kirishima, have you been… Have you been harming yourself in anyway?"

Kirishima rolled his eyes, of course she'd finally get to the point. Whether he would tell the truth or not was up in the air. He didn't reply at first. Ms Kayama leaned forward and placed her elbows on her knees. Putting herself under Kirishima's eye level. Maybe that would make him feel more in control. It didn't but it was worth the try. But all she really received from her caring look was a blank stare.

"Eijiro, you have to tell me, if you have so I can help you."

"No, I haven't, Ms Kayama," Kirishima hated when she called him by his first name, "Can you just ask me what you really want to ask?"

"What do you think I want to ask you? Do you think I haven't been getting to the point?"

"No."

"Then tell me what you think I want to say."

Kirishima leaned back against the couch, slumped an unfriendly. He itches his arm, he felt like his skin was crawling, like it was only used to his couch. That he was allergic to this place. This place no longer felt safe.

"You want to ask if I miss him and if I do why should I."

"And do you?"

"I don't want to… but I do."

"And why?" Ms Kayama asked, curious, "You've said it yourself, you barely know him. And things you do know about him aren't the best."

There was a real gutteralness in her voice. That she was tired of her friend or her patient letting these petty little things mean so much to him. Very unprofessional.

"I know… I've been crying a lot lately," No surprise, "And the only reason why I cry isn't because of him, but it's because of me. Because I was the one who caused this."

"You think that this is all your fault."

"Yes."

"But it isn't. You know that, don't you?"

"No."

Ms Kayama wrote another note in her journal. Kirishima watched the pen as it scribbled and then as she placed it back down. Kirishima licked his lips, they were chapped. His arm itches again. Ms Kayama shook her leg for a second before she got up from her chair and walked over to her desk. She walked as if it was something she had to do a long time ago. Today seemed like the perfect day to do it. She pulled out a small notepad from her desk and bent over.

"I'm going to prescribe you some antidepressants, okay?" Ms Kayama said this as if she didn't want to hurt Kirishima's feelings.

"You think I need antidepressants?"

"Eijiro, I've thought you've always needed something but you seemed to do well in these sessions that I could hold off on it," Ms Kayama walked over to Kirishima and held out the yellow note with her signature on it, "But I think that these will help you."

Kirishima took the note. Written was a simple prescription for Prozac. This did not shock, Kirishima, only disappointed him. Disappointed in himself. Why do these types of things come in waves? He sighed and looked up at Ms Kayama.

"Can I go home now?"

Ms Kayama looked somewhat reluctant. Kirishima wondered if she saw herself as a mother figure in Kirishima's new life. That she'd want to hug him close to her breasts and stroke his hair and tell Kirishima that everything would be just alright as she would rock him. That heartbreak was a natural thing and that this would go on through his life. That things would not be perfect and that would be okay. But she simply nodded instead, Kirishima stood up and nodded back with the note in his hand. Ms Kayama has such a sad look on her face.

"Bye, Eijiro."

"Bye, Ms Kayama."

He walked out of the office, did a heavy sigh, and started his way back home. Feeling like he got nothing out of that conversation.

Kirishima was laying on the couch, belly down with his shirt off as he smoked his cigarette. The ashtray was becoming full and the air he breathed was stale. His hair was coving in face and the tv wasn't turned on. He sat in silence. Warm beers on the table. This has been his routine ever since their fight. If his mother could see him now in this state, she would be disappointed. Disappointed in the fact she put all her faith in this idea and that now Kirishima was blowing it all. It was good that his mother decided not to call. Kirishima wouldn't know what to say to her.

He heard a knock at his door, short and shrill before it opened. Kirishima closed his eyes and took another drag from his cigarette, knowing what would happen.

"Kirishima?" Such a familiar sweet voice.

Kirishima sighed and curled his legs up slightly so Kaminari could sit down on the couch which he did. Kaminari pat his hand on Kirishima's shoulder before giving a rub. It seemed uneasy. Kirishima felt more weight added to the couch, Shinso was there as well.

"You okay?" Kaminari asked.

Kirishima shook his head, Shinso sighed. Kaminari tucked hair behind Kirishima's ear but it ended up falling again. This was love, but Kirishima didn't quite get that. Kirishima's breath was bad. His stomach ached, he hadn't eaten all day.

"Will you sit up? Come on, I need to talk to you."

"What's there to talk about?" Kirishima muttered and sat up, he tapped the ash off of his cigarette.

"We just want to help you, Kirishima, you know that." Shinso said, "You haven't been yourself lately."

"Yeah," Kirishima rubbed his face, "What did you come here to talk about?"

Kaminari tilted his head, as if saying he already knew. This week had been dejavu for Kirishima. Kaminari placed his hand on Kirishima's leg. He must be about to say something detrimental.

"You… you really haven't heard anything from Bakugou? Not once?" Kaminari asked.

Kirishima turned his head to the side and breathed in more smoke. He hated how he was seen as the only one Bakugou trusted when that wasn't true in the slightest. Not till now. The fools.

"No."

"I was thinking that… If you want, we could take you over to his house if you want to see him. You know, talk to him." Kaminari smiled.

"We'd be with you the whole time so you wouldn't have to worry." Shinso included.

"Yeah, we'll be there for you buddy. Hm? Would you like that?" Kaminari's voice dripped with candy, it was almost sickening to hear.

"No."

"Pardon?"

"No." Kirishima repeated.

"Why wouldn't you want to see him? He's still your boyfriend, and he needs a good kick in the ass after what he said to you and not coming to school for a week."

"He doesn't want to see me."

"What makes you think that?"

"Do you see him here? If he wanted to talk to me he would have come by already."

Kaminari looked confused. Shinso looked like nothing, this was really his boyfriends fight, not his. Kirishima picked up a beer can and took a sip, it was old and filled with backwash. Kaminari leaned in closer.

"Come on, don't you want to say anything?" Kaminari shook Kirishima's shoulders, "Don't you want questions answered?"

Kirishima knew Kaminari did. Since Bakugou had been so well grounded and silent, Kaminari was curious. Curious about how he could be so secluded, curious on how he could isolate himself so quickly and not worry of the consequences. Kirishima didn't want to be curious anymore. It hurt him too much now, Kirishima shook his head, he stubbed out his ashy cigarette and quickly lit another one. Kaminari's face turned, smoke accidentally tickled his nose.

"Don't you wanna get angry then?" Kaminari asked, somewhat mad himself, "Don't you wanna grab him by the side and shake him?" Kaminari did what he described to Kirishima

"No…"

"Well why the hell not? Come on, you have to be mad at him! You got the right to it!" Kaminari's grip was tighter "Look at you right now, you're drinking old beers and chain smoking. You're not sleeping or eating right, you aren't seeing your friends. You aren't even speaking properly to me right now…he's flipped you on your head and you're not angry about that?!"

Kirishima took a drag and rubbed his face. He was sad. He was mad. Overall, he felt like a moron more than anything.

"No… No,I can't blame him for any of this...how I feel, how I am...In the end it's my fault."

Kaminari slapped Kirishima with no warning, it stung and felt hot. Kirishima gasped and put his hand to his cheek. He continued to smoke.

"Kaminari, hey!" Shinso said and pulled him back by his shoulders.

"I'm angry!" Kaminari shouted and stood up, "At the both of you I'm angry. I'm mad at you because of how you put yourself down and just blame yourself for all your troubles. Pity party is fucking over, dude. You won't give Bakugou any shit for what he did, what's wrong with you?! I'd beat him to a fucking pulp if he made me feel like how you feel. Like complete shit, you both are complete fucking shit right now. Bakugou doesn't care about anyone and you can only care about Bakugou and nothing else."

"Kaminari calm down-"

"How can you let him be blameless? I know you aren't stupid but for some reason you're acting like it. Bakugou is the biggest asshole on earth and the worse part is, is that he didn't always act like that around you. That's what hurts about this whole situation," Kaminari's voice went whispery, "He took the best part of you and you aren't even mad about it."

Kaminari's jaw was tight. He was more upset with the fact that his presents meant nothing to Kirishima. Not like how it would mean if Bakugou were here. For once, it wasn't just Kirishima who didn't think he was good enough, it was also Kaminari. This hurt him a lot, he hadn't felt this hurt by a friend in a long time. Maybe Kirishima was wrong, Kaminari was his best friend. He clicked his tongue as Kirishima rubbed the same spot on his cheek, ash formed, long on his cigarette.

"Come on, let's go. This was stupid." Kaminari said and walked passed Shinso towards the door as he walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. Shinso stayed behind, he got up and inched towards Kirishima. He put his hand on his shoulder.

"He didn't mean to hit you like that, he just gets so frustrated to the point where he doesn't know what to do," Shinso said, "He's just worried about his friend is all. That's all."

"Shinso."

"Yeah?"

"Would you… Would you forgive him?" Kirishima asked quietly, head still turned away.

Shinso of course didn't have to ask about what needed to be forgiven.

"I think… I think I'm not quite as sensitive as you are."

That wasn't much help. Kirishima closed his eyes and sighed through his nose.

"You should leave."

Shinso moved his hand away. He was never much for this, this type of thing made him so tired. He felt empathetic, but he didn't know what he should do. Shinso knew how to write about it though, with time he would. Shinso stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets.

"Take care of yourself. Alright?"

Shinso left without hearing Kirishima say anything else, he closed the door softly. With that Kirishima began to sniffle, he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees as he wiped his nose. His cheeks started to turn red and eyes well up with tears. He was so sick of crying, why did he have to cry so much? He started to hiccup and his mouth became wet. Why was he so stubborn with being sad? Why couldn't he get better, why make such a big fit over nothing? Kirishima picked up the ash tray and flung it against the wall, cigarette butts flying around the room. He stood up and tossed the beer cans to the ground as he cried. Kirishima started to push all the clutter off the coffee table, grunting and yelling in frustration as he created a mess around him.

Kirishima wished he could just be normal. That he could ascend above his body and take in his surroundings better. That everything didn't have to mean something. That a wave was just a wave, a wink was just a wink, a kiss is just a kiss. A fight could have simply been a fight. This didn't cross his mind as he kicked beer cans and stepped on ashes as he knocked over movie cases and school textbooks. He gripped his hair tightly as he panted. Creating destruction in his apartment living room. This hurt his head. Tears rolling down his chin as his chest rose up and down. His lip quivered, he started to slink down and sob into his palm.

"I'm the worst… I'm the worst… I'm the worst…"

He was, in fact, the worst

——————————————————-

_So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow and favorite if you did. See you next update._


	10. Answers, Please

**Hey guys! Another chapter is up! School has started up again so I may be slower with updates but I'll try my best to keep up. I do not own MHA nor the characters used. Enjoy!**

_11.15_

_I had a dream. I had been dreaming often. He visited me in my sleep. I was in my bed, he touched my forehead with his fingers and let them trail down to my cheek until I woke up. There was a red, flame-like outline around him. He seemed like a ghost almost, he seemed so peaceful. Like I had never seen him before, but he scared me. I could smell the scent of cigarette smoke. He smoked Marlboro blacks. I asked him:_

_Where have you been?_

_He said nowhere_

_How can you be nowhere? You have to have been somewhere._

_He didn't say anything _

_Answer me, please just… say anything. _

_He said I was here. That he's been here the whole time. _

_I couldn't understand it, but it only took a matter of time until I did. He was in my head, taking up all my time, all my space._

_When will you come back?_

_He said soon but that would be a lie._

_Even my dreams have no real idea to make concrete decisions._

_Do you… did you ever… Did you love me?_

_He said I'd have to ask._

_I did ask! Answer me you bastard, you son of a bitch! Give me a straight answer! _

_He said I'd have to ask._

_Stop it! Stop it, stop it! Quit acting like this and just answer me, answer me so I know that I can give up. _

_He said I'd have to ask. _

_He then disappeared and I had never felt so desperate before in a dream. I shot straight out of my bed, stepped on my mattress as he faded away. I pleaded for him to stay no matter how upset I was, grasped for the air around me. I fell down to my knees and began to cry. I just wanted him to stay, I wanted him to talk to me. What am I trying to say to myself? I've been so confused. I want to be better is all. I miss his glare. I miss his eyes. I want to kiss him. I want to scream at him. I want to tell him how I'm doing, then he'll know how awful he has to feel for putting me through all of this._

Kirishima had fallen asleep hours ago after going home from school. He had packed himself a bowl of leftover weed Bakugo had stored away in his coffee table drawer. It made him sleepy, he didn't want to do things like Bakugou did when he was high.

Still, no sight of Bakugou in the school. Kirishima was sad to not feel a gaze on him. Before he left, Mr Aizawa wanted to have a word with him. Mr Aizawa leaned against his desk as Kirishima sat in his seat. His head was down, bag by his feet ready to go once Me Aizawa would dismiss him. Mr Aizawa began with a hearty sigh.

"Kirishima… it has come to my attention that you haven't been performing in class like how you usually do."

"Sorry, sir. I'll do better."

"That's not what I'm asking you to do." Mr Aizawa crossed his arms.

"You didn't ask me anything, Mr Aizawa."

"You're right. It's not… I'm here to tell you… Ugh, I'm not very good at this kind of thing," Mr Aizawa pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, "I want to ask why you may not be acting like your usual self."

"How do I usually act. If you don't mind me asking Mr Aizawa."

He had him. Kirishima knew this because Mr Aizawa scratches the scruff on his cheek and darted his eyes away. Mr Aizawa didn't pay enough attention to know how any of his students behavior really was in class. He didn't have conversations with them, in fact, the most he had talked to a student after class was with Kirishima, and he had only been here for a brief time. He did seem most concerned with Kirishima's business however.

"Who told you to talk to me, sir?"

Mr Aizawa rolled his eyes and sighed again. But then he chuckled, shaking his head.

"No one did," Mr Aizawa gave a half-hearted smile, "I just… You know you've just been looking really down as of late, Kirishima and I want to know why."

At Least he was telling the truth.

"Why?"

"Can't I be concerned about my students?"

"You only seem to be concerned with me, sir," Kirishima lifted up his head, "Like you said, you aren't very good at this kind of thing."

Mr Aizawa pinched his lips together. Chewed his cheeks a little and then slapped his legs. He got up from his lax state on the desk towards Kirishima. He squatted down and placed his arms and chin on Kirishima's desk. For whatever reason, he was in the mood to act as a good teacher.

"I think you're a good kid, Kirishima," Mr Aizawa began, "But it has occurred to me, just today that you've been looking rather sad since Bakugou went on leave. And I'm concerned."

"Leave?" Kirishima whispered.

"So what is it? Do you just miss your friend or something? You and Bakugou work quite a lot together in cla-"

"Do you know where he's gone to?"

Mr Aizawa tilted his head, "You don't know?"

"No, sir, I thought he was skipping this whole time, everyone has. No one has been able to get ahold of him."

"For a month you thought he was skipping? Wow, you children do not understand how the education system works."

"Where is he, Mr Aizawa?"

Mr Aizawa stood up and put his hands on his hips. Contemplating how much he really cared about this information.

"He was in Tokyo, Chou City to be exact."

"Chou City? What's he doing there?"

"Look, all I know is that he was able to get an education leave for whatever reason to Tokyo."

"Do you know how much longer he'll be gone?" Kirishima put his hands on the desk and leaned forward, "Please tell me Mr Aizawa."

Mr Aizawa breathed out through his nose and scratched his matted hair, "Well uh… His leave is supposed to end on the seventeenth so I guess he'll be coming back soon."

"The seventeenth… Thank you, Mr Aizawa," Kirishima stood up quickly and picked up his bag. He stood with his chest out, "Are we done now, Mr Aizawa?"

"Well I mean- you know what, yeah, yeah we're done," Mr Aizawa shooed him away, "If you're ever feeling down, you can come and talk to me, alright?"

"Alright."

Kirishima would never want to do this again, not unless Mr Aizawa asked for a conversation. He hated how adults would look at him, try and tune him, and think they were helpful. Sometimes this would happen when he spoke to Ms Kayama. Kirishima did it to himself for acting so respectful. Kirishima threw his bag over his shoulder and exited the classroom. His heart was beating fast as he rushed out of the school, such a burst of energy he hadn't felt in such a long time. Just the thought of Bakugou returning made him hopeful for whatever reason. Which he shouldn't do to himself, just in case Bakugou failed to do so.

So Kirishima wanted to sleep. What he really wanted to do was sleep two whole days and then he'd know the truth finally. If he really meant anything to Bakugou and if that was true, then he'd tell him everything. He could feel it in his gut that's what would happen. He was wrapped up in a warm blanket, lips parted as he softly breathed out. His eyes twitched under the lid, he wasn't under a heavy sleep. Kirishima was still excited from school today, so his body couldn't be very steady, he didn't even dream.

Kirishima heard a rattling noise, but it didn't warrant him to wake up. Not just yet anyway. Something shut, his nose wiggled, mouth exhaled. Something was taken off, Kirishima rubbed his face with one hand. Footsteps were heard, this was when Kirishima began to wake up. Slowly, but he did so, and as he did, a lamp was turned on, it made Kirishima shield his eyes and blink a few times. He heard a lighter flick on and could smell smoke. Marlboro blacks, this was it, but he just had to realize it.

"Hey, come to, dumbass."

That was it.

Kirishima opened his eyes all the way and there he was, just as he remembered. It was unbelievable almost That puffball of hair, that sneer on his face, those desirable eyes. No longer a phantom but a physical form. There he stood, mighty as ever, like nothing could touch him. He wore a simple white shirt and black pants. Kirishima's eyes looked like they'd pop out of his skull, his body was jittery. Feeling anger and lust at the same time. How could he look like that? How could Bakugou stand by his door with a cigarette in his mouth already like some cowboy that settled into town? Like nothing had ever occurred.

"Bakugou?" Kirishima muttered as he slunk off of the couch and walked towards him. Hands out.

"In the flesh," Bakugou said and breathed out, "I know it's a little late but I thought I'd stop by. How's it-"

Before Bakugou could finish his sentence, Kirishima punched his cheek, Bakugou hit the back of the door from losing his balance, he held his face as he stubbed the cigarette against the wooden door frame.

"You fuck!" Kirishima yelled, raising his fist up again and punched Bakugou's other cheek, "You utter asshole! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Bakugou started to slide down the door, he grabbed the bottom of Kirishima's shirt, bringing him down with him. Bakugou tasted blood in his mouth, Kirishima was able to punch Bakugou's chest a few times and in random areas as they fell.

"You have a fight with me, then you're gone for two weeks! You don't show up, you don't call, you don't tell anyone where you're going, and you think you can just walk in here and see what's going on with me?!" Kirishima was about to go in for another punch but Bakugou grabbed his wrist, he struggled against him, "Do you understand the damage you did here?!"

Kirishima tried using his other first but that was caught as well. His knuckles hurt. He grunted, flashing his sharp teeth like some dog as he tried to fling his fists again. He wanted to beat him, make him feel miserable as he nursed the sudden hits. But he didn't get anything out of this, it only made him more angry. Angry? He didn't think he'd act like this when he would see Bakugou but that's how it went. Kirishima was on his knees as Bakugou fell to his butt, he panted softly from the aches his body felt just now.

"Answer me!" Kirishima screamed

"If you'd shut the hell up for a minute I will," Bakugou grunted and squeezed Kirishima's wrist tighter to stop the struggle,but it wasn't going to happen "I'm sorry, okay?"

Kirishima narrowed his eyebrows, fists still tight.

"You're sorry?" Kirishima sneered and got real close to Bakugou's face, "And what- in the fuck- do you feel so sorry about, eh? The fact that you left with no reason to tell me? That you should have said sorry to me sooner? What on earth do you feel sorry about?!"

Kirishima yelled, thinking of was the right thing to do, that his body was on fire and to only exert all this heat that was in him, was by using all his energy towards anger. But it wasn't anger he was feeling. No, it was disappointment, it was sadness facing reality. It came up like acidic spit though, instead of tears. Bakugou swallowed, the spot on his cheek was no longer red, it was turning a fresh purple.

"I just know… I just know that I should feel sorry," Bakugou said, his grip loosening, "Look, I've been gone for awhile, I have no clue what happened when I left that night. I didn't feel regret leaving."

Of course he didn't. How do you regret when you're whole being is pride? Even when you fake it till you make it. Or if you deserve it because you have proven to be the best.

"But all that time away. While you weren't there with me, I just knew that once I saw you again, I needed to say I'm sorry to you," Bakugou looked up at Kirishima as kindly as he could, "So, I'm sorry."

Kirishima's mouth felt wet, he lowered his hands slowly. He punched Bakugou's chest, not in a hateful way, but in a tired way. He sighed heavily and took in his scent deeply, he hated himself for doing such a thing.

"You're a son of a bitch…" Kirishima muttered before placing his forehead on Bakugou's chest, "You're a bastard and you should get out."

Bakugou didn't wrap his arms around Kirishima like he usually would have. He tipped his head back, and still wish that cigarette was lit in his hand. They had both been wishing and hoping these past couple of weeks.

"Yeah." Bakugou replied.

"You know that you just can't simply say sorry to me and think that makes everything better."

"You know you just can't tell me to leave and that will make you feel any better."

Kirishima closed his eyes tightly and bit his bottom lip hard. His mouth quivered, he slammed his fist hard on the door, right by Bakugou's head. He didn't flinch.

"I had so many things I wanted to say to you. I thought about it all the time in my head. All the right words… I should have known that once I saw you none of those things would be said."

Bakugou licked his lips, his mouth tasted like a penny, "Why don't you say them?" He whispered against Kirishima's ear, very intimate.

"It would just hurt," Kirishima sounded like he was on the verge of tears. He wrapped his arms around Bakugou's neck, "It would hurt so much that I wouldn't be able to stand myself… I just like you so much...if I said anything to you it would all just feel so wrong."

"Why don't you save yourself from all this pain? If you told me to leave the moment you got up… I probably would have left. But you asked me questions, you punched me… you wanted more from me. Why?"

Bakugou was pausing, carefully choosing his words and phrases. This really meant something to him. He saw the messy apartment, he saw Kirishima's matted hair and puffy eyes. Bakugou did understand what he had done to Kirishima, he realized, truly that he meant so much more to Kirishima than he ever thought to care about someone. Kirishima chuckled and gripped the back of Bakugou's shirt, Bakugou felt tears fall on the back of his shirt.

"Because I love you," Kirishima muttered, "And I don't care if you don't love me back because that's just how I feel. And no matter how much I want to hate you, I just won't."

"But it's the right thing to do."

"I know."

Bakugou ran his fingers in the back of Kirishimam's hair, there were so many knots his fingers got tangled. Love was such a strong word, it makes a man weak.

"You can't leave like that again…" Kirishima said, "If you do… I don't know what will happen, but you can't just… just go."

"I know."

"Tell me that you won't."

"It won't be true."

"Why not?" Kirishima pulled away, he held Bakugou's poor face in his hands, "Why can't you promise me anything?"

Bakugou slightly shrugged and grabbed Kirishiam's wrist, "It's just how I am."

"_Change._" Kirishima desperately said, "Please, please. You chose to be with me, you wanted to be with me, if you don't change this will turn sour."

"It's not already sour?"

"It's rough… but it's worth it isn't it? I'm worth it?" Kirishima asked, this could not all be for naught, "If you don't think it is then tell me now. Tell me, and I won't hope for anything else and we'll have a completely different conversation."

Bakugou tried turning his head but Kirishima wouldn't let him. He'd have to look in his dark eyes and face the fact there was no getting out of this. Not this time. Bakugou sighed and put his forehead on Kirishima's.

"What do you think we should do?" Bakugou asked.

"I don't know," Kirishima muttered and ran his fingers through Bakugou's hair, "I'm not the right person to be asking such a question… I think you should see Ms Kayama with me sometime soon."

"Your therapist?"

"Yes, Bakugou. She'd know what to say. For us to do, I know she would be willing to help."

Bakugou groaned and rolled his eyes, Kirishima pressed his cheek to Bakugou's. He couldn't put up a fight.

"Fine… I'll do it."

"Alright," Kirishima pressed his body close to Bakugou's, "I missed you…"

"Yeah?"

"When nothing made sense, the only thing I knew is that I missed you and I wanted to see you so badly. No matter how much I was hurting, I just wanted you."

"Wanted to punch me in the face a few times huh?"

Kirishima chuckled and shook his head, "That was for sure never part of the plan. Maybe to tell and scream at you but punching you came naturally for some reason. It's just… I don't know my body reacted," Kirishima sighed, "I think Kaminari would be proud of me for doing that."

"Well what the hell does that airhead really know? Nothing for all I care." Bakugou sneered and turned his head to the side.

Kirishima smiled, it was such a familiar reaction. He kissed Bakugou on the cheek and wrapped his arms tighter around Bakugou's neck. He kissed him a few times.

"You owe me, you know? Like, big time for even thinking I'd let you come in here."

"I did it because I knew you would," Bakugou said, "What do I owe you?"

"Answers…" Kirishima lingered, his fingers running down Bakugou's chest now, "But you owe me more than that."

"Like what?"

"Well, first thing, you owe me a proper kiss."

Bakugou clicked his tongue, then chuckled. He leaned forward and kissed Kirishima. Goodness, Kirishima felt like he was new. Like a little baby wrapped in silk. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss, he had longed for this. Kirishima gripped Bakugou's shirt tight as they parted lips, twisting their mouth again and again. Bakugou's lips felt soft, like they had never left Kirishima. It made him feel loved, and he had needed that for a long time. They pulled away and Kirishima rested his head on Bakugou's shoulder. He rubbed his back.

"Why were you in Chou City?" Kirishima asked.

"Who told you I was there?" There was no shock in Bakugou's voice, he sounded very mellow.

"Mr Aizawa told me," Kirishima nestled against Bakugou's neck, "There's… there's good hospitals in Chou City."

Silence.

"It seems like you already know the answer."

"Is she okay?"

"No."

"Is it bad?"

"Yes."

"...You should have told me. I would have understood."

"How can you understand when I don't even get it? I mean- fuck, really," Bakugou shifted Kirishima off of him, he started to get up, he grunted, Kirishima got up as well, "She gets worse and worse and we don't even know why. I don't even get why the old man and I even try anything anymore."

"She's your mother, Bakugou."

In that moment, Kirishima saw how Bakugou stared at a blank wall. Eyes narrowed as he tried to see through it to find what he was looking for. He looked at that plain wall and wished that he didn't have a mother. That she was not fixable and that pissed Bakugou off to no end. To a man that knew everything, excelled at everything he tried, it was like a living hell to know there was something impossible he couldn't do. It hurt him badly. The whole time Bakugou had left, Kirishima wasn't the only one aching. He felt bad for punching him now. Kirishima came behind Bakugou and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"You can stay here tonight." Kirishima said.

"I can pay my dues, yeah?"

He wanted to. Kirishima had to remember, no matter how much or how little he meant to Bakugou, that he too was missed.

"Yeah," Kirishima curled his arms tighter, "Can you give me a cigarette?"

_So I hoped you enjoyed, review, follow and favorite if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	11. Fawn

**Hey guys! Brand new long chapter. Thank you for those who favorite, follow and reviewed the story so far. It motivates me a lot. I do not own MHA nor characters used. Enjoy!**

_11\. 22_

_Ma called me recently. We went over the same things we always do, what most people do when they live away from their mothers. How's school, what's going on back home, if I've been behaving well, if she's been well. I told her about Bakugou, she seems interested in my friends. I told her he wasn't a friend, that he was my boyfriend. At first she was surprised, which was reasonable. She never knew I might swing for the fences but after a moment, she seemed happy though; she loved me more than anyone else in this whole world. Happy that her boy was growing up and starting to do the things young men should be doing, of course she doesn't know about the mental breakdown I was having for almost a month because of him. I'm good at either hiding things or she's not very good at picking up on stressful situations. I felt like it was a good time to tell her. It just felt right._

_I told her all she wanted to know, I didn't hold back. That his name was Katsuki Bakugou, he was blonde, he got very good grades, his zodiac sign was Aries, he liked Bambi, and that he had a fiery temper._

_Well he sounds very nice, baby. I'll have to meet him around Christmas. _

_I'd like that._

_I'm very happy for you, now how's your friend- oh what's his name, he's the one that's not very bright._

_We continued our regular conversation. Bakugou was in the other room, able to hear what we were talking about. It felt very intimate. Things were changing, it scared both of us but it was something that needed to be done. He kissed me after I got off the phone with her, we had sex while I thought about what to get Bakugou for Christmas and if he would still be with me by then. I haven't figured out yet if I've forgiven Bakugou. I know he's truly sorry and I know I favor him very much so, but something is strange. I've picked up my second prescription of Prozac today, seems okay._

"So, you're the Katsuki Bakugou I've heard so much about." Ms Kayama said, smiling.

It took a bit of convincing on Kirishima's part, but Ms Kayama did agree to seeing Bakugou on one of his sessions. It wasn't usually common for a person who knew a patient to see the same therapist. It usually put a hitch in things, mostly if they talked about the same person. But Kirishima convinced her that Bakugou wouldn't see her often, maybe just this once or twice. He looked at her with those big sad eyes, and like that, Ms Kayama agreed.

Ms Kayama kept grinning, like she had finally seen one of the Seven Wonders of the World, hearing so much about it, imagining how the pyramids would look in the sun, or how long the Great Wall Of China is to walk. And now, she is staring at the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Bakugou had his arms crossed, slumped in the chair with his jacket still on. It was raining that day.

"Do you always look at people like that? It's kinda fuckin' weird." Bakugou said.

Ms Kayama chuckled, "Yeah, that sounds about right," She sat up and wrote in her notebook. She got to it, "How are you today?"

Bakugou furrowed his brow, "Fine…"

"No, 'and you'?"

"No."

Ms Kayama hummed, "You don't really want to be here today do you?"

"No, not at all. I thought this was a dumb idea."

"Ah, I see. Not into the idea of therapy?"

"It's stupid for people who don't need it," Bakugou shrugged, "I don't like people tryin' to read me and shit like that. I already know everythin' I gotta know about me. Don't need someone to tell me."

"I guess we should just give you a doctorate then and have you go on your way. You're only here because of Kirishima, aren't you?"

Bakugou turned his head to the side and lifted his shoulders up higher. His bottom lip stuck out like he had eaten a sour candy. Sour puss.

"I owe it to him."

Ms Kayama wrote another note down and nodded her head, "I agree. I think you owe it to him too. After all you put him through."

"What the hell would you know about it?" Bakugou snapped.

The anger. Challenging what he knew over what everyone else knew. He knew he was in the wrong but he didn't want to be told that again and again. He had too much of an ego for that, Ms Kayama noted.

"He was a mess for about a month. I hadn't seen him look or act like that since the first time I met him. And that was after he was in a treatment center for six months. And you did it with an argument," Ms Kayama leaned forward, "So, tell me what you did to him to revert him back so far?"

"Hey, don't be blamin' me for that,"Bakugou stomped his foot down and uncrossed his arms, "It's not my fault he's like that. He overthinks every little fuckin' thing, I can't help that Kirishima wants to make a big deal about something so stupid."

"What makes you feel like it isn't a big deal?"

"Cause it ain't, alright? It was an argument over something he didn't even have to know in the first place. It was my business and not his."

Ms Kayama smiled and closed her eyes. She wanted to shake her head something fierce but if she did, Bakugou would have a fit, and she knew that. It was funny how Kirishima had said time and time again how he couldn't read Bakugou, but it seemed to come easy to Ms Kayama. Maybe because she was a professional.

"Do you like to keep a lot of things to yourself, Bakugou?" Ms Kayama asked.

"Well yeah, who doesn't? Nobody has to know everything about someone. I guess that's where you and I are going to differ."

"Would you say you're a person who has a lot of secrets."

"Wouldn't you like to know."

He thinks he has her. But he's wrong. And he'll throw an awful, awful fit about it.

"Yep, just like I thought," Ms Kayama wrote one last note before shutting her journal close and setting it on her desk. She stood up from her chair and straightened her skirt, "I think this was very good, I have all I need to know. It was very nice meeting you Katsuki Bakugou."

Ms Kayama held out her hand, Bakugou simply stared at her palm, he smacked her hand away. As expected.

"You think I'm some kind of joke?" Bakugou growled, looking up at Ms Kayama, "You don't _know _anything about me to say that this was good and that's everythin' you need to know. What kind of shit quack are you?"

"Well what do you presume I do?" Ms Kayama put her hands on her hips and bent down, "How can I do my job if you don't tell me anything I ask you, hmm? No one who needs help can't just come in here and expect me to do all the work. You have to do some too. How do you think Kirishima tries to better himself? Do you think he sits here while I wave a magic wand?"

"... Of course not… But I don't need this."

"Everyone needs this. If everyone could have the chance to go to therapy we wouldn't be so screwed up. Now I'm going to sit back down in my chair and we'll have a proper session, yeah?"

Bakugou's jaw was tense, he crossed his arms again and wiggled in his seat.

"Okay…"

"Very good," Ms Kayama smiled and sat back down in her chair like she said and crossed her legs, "You know why you're here today, so tell me, why did you leave that night?"

"My mom- I presume Kirishima told you."

"He told me that's probably why."

"...What else did he say about it?"

"I can't tell you that even if I wanted to. Besides, this is about you not him," Ms Kayama cupped her fingers together, "What happened to you mother?"

Bakugou chewed his cheek, he felt tense all around, he couldn't even uncurl the toes in his shoes. He hated talking about this, but he wasn't going to let some woman beat him. Somehow, in Bakugou's head, this was a competition.

"My old man called me and told me she wasn't breathin' right, like uh, like short breaths you know?" Bakugou patted his chest, "She used to do it often but this time she was shakin' all around, sweatin' like crazy… when I got to the hospital before they transferred her, a blood vessel popped in her eye. They put her on some sort of monitor and machine I don't know what it is," Bakugou stared down at the floor, "It was bad that night, we thought she might kick the fuckin' bucket this time but, we've thought that a couple times now. But the cow keeps on goin'"

"She's been sick for sometime now. I've heard it's terminal."

"Yep, just waitin'"

"What are you waiting for, Bakugou?"

"Just somethin'..."

Ms Kayama hummed and leaned back in her chair, "Are you waiting for her to die?"

Bakugou clicked his tongue, "You tryin to make me admit I'm an awful person or somethin'?"

"Do you think that's awful?"

Bakugou sighed, his shoulders slunk down as he ran his fingers through his hair. He started to feel hot but he wasn't going to take off his jacket anytime soon. That would be a defeat. He wanted to physically shake this off of him.

"No," Bakugou finally admitted, "Not for how long I've been told by doctors and Pop that she's just gonna get worse and then die."

"It's been a long time hasn't it?"

Bakugou chuckled, spitefully, "Try livin' it."

"Do you love your mother?"

"What a stupid question: I love my Ma, I just don't like her. She's always in bed and makin' my old man worried, she can't be a mom like that."

"When was the last time you thought she was being a mother then?"

Bakugou puffed out his bottom lip and lowered his eyes a bit. Thinking about the last time she peeled an orange for him, the last time she yelled at him over a math problem, the last time he was sick, and she put a damp towel over his forehead and kissed him on the cheek. But these were things he grew out of, he dug his nails in orange peels, he exceeded on all mathematical formulas, and Bakugou hadn't been sick, and he got all the kisses he would ever need from Kirishima. He was too old for those memories, but those couldn't be the last time she had been a present mother. Bakugou bit his bottom lip and softly smiled.

"In middle school, she took me out of school early. She took me to get ice cream before we went to the movies. I asked her that day, I said to her, _what are we gonna see, old woman? _She punched my arm, not as hard as she usually would, and said back _don't you ever call me old and you'll see once we get there._"

"What film was it?"

"They were doin' one of those classic movie days. Like an old film you can see in the theaters for real cheap cause they usually happen midday. We were the only ones there," Bakugou licked his lips, and smiled once again, "We saw _Bambi. _My favorite movie of all time. When I saw it up on the huge screen, my jaw hit the floor, and I looked at my Ma with big eyes and I hugged her quick before crossing my arms and thankin' her under my breath. She seemed happy with herself… that old broad. It was somethin' else, seeing it on a movie screen… I hate to admit it but I fuckin' cried when Bambi's mom died and I had seen that movie a million times and never cried. Heh, I told Kirishima I liked that movie cause all the animals fuck at the end but… what I really liked was the fact that everyone wanted to see Bambi be born and they followed this little deer through out his life and… and it's real heart warming."

Ms Kayama chuckled quietly, but once Bakugou glared at her she pretended to cough, like something was in her throat but she was choked up instead.

"What's so funny, eh?" Bakugou asked, harshly.

"It's not funny it's just… that is the sweetest thing I think I have ever heard coming from a boy your age."

"Then you shouldn't be laughing' like that if it's _sweet."_

Ms Kayama batted her hand in front of her face and sighed quietly, "You don't often say things like this do you? Where you open yourself up, talk about your memories?"

Bakugou shook his head, "No."

"How come? You're a very articulate young man, very smart. You could do some good if you talked to everyone like how you're talking to me."

Bakugou grinded his teeth together, he placed his elbow on the armchair and placed his palm on his cheek.

"After my mom took me to the movies, we went to the toy store and got a superhero action figure… we went back home and… and my mom and dad told me what was gonna happen to her," Bakugou mumbled, "Why open yourself up when all that's ever gonna happen to you in life is just gonna fuck with you in the end? It's not worth it. It just sucks."

"So you'd rather people think you're angry and intimidating all the time?"

"Yeah I do, because what in the fuck is so wrong with that?"

Ms Kayama frowned. She was getting somewhere, but the road was windy, it was cold and wet and hard to see which way to go. But she would force her way through, all for curiosity sake. Because in the end, Bakugou wasn't her patient, only a part of a client she wanted to help so badly, she'd do anything for him.

"People won't like you."

"That doesn't matter to me."

"Even if that means that one day Kirishima won't like you?"

Bakugou clicked his tongue, "I'm surprised he hasn't listened to everyone and take a step back from me."

"Katsuki-"

"Bakugou will suffice."

"Do you think you're not good enough?"

"Hey, I don't know what makes you say somethin' so idiotic like that, but no matter what anybody says or thinks, I'm the best there is."

"Then why do you think Kirishima shouldn't be with you? That he shouldn't stay with you and be your friend?"

"Cause I ain't very good at it and he deserves better than me!" Bakugou yelled and stood up.

His eyes widened and his fists curled up at his chest. He couldn't believe what he had just said out loud. That he let this woman snake her way into his head and made him say such a thing. But it was true, it was his truth. And there was no way to take it back now. Seeing Ms Kayama's eyes glimmer, as if reading a good novel and now it was on a cliffhanger, it made his stomach turn in knots. Bakugou breathed out heavily.

"We're done…" Bakugou muttered and walked towards the door.

"There's ten minutes left." Ms Kayama interjected.

"I don't give a shit, I'm out of here," Bakugou paused, he licked his lips and pointed his finger towards Ms Kayama, "And before you asked, I'm not comin' back to see you again."

"Bakugou, I think you should calm down a moment before you-"

"No! No, that might work on Kirishima and the other fucks that come in here but not on me."

"Bakugou!"

Bakugou left the room, slamming the door close and walking quickly down the stairs of the building before Ms Kayama could even think about chasing after him. He was panting hard once he was back on the street. His hair became damp, face wet with drops on his nose. He bit his bottom lip as he leaned against the brick building. He took out his pack of cigarettes, it pissed him off that his hands shook as he took one out. He lit the end and took in a deep breath, he turned around and punched the brick. He seethed and pressed his forehead to the building, Bakugou bit the filter hard. His eyes began to well, but Bakugou wasn't one for crying.

He was mad because what else could he feel? He felt cracked open, trying to scoop up all the goop that had fallen out of him. He thought he was an idiot for being played like that. But most of all, he couldn't stop thinking about how he thought he wasn't good enough for Kirishima, and that it was selfish of him for not staying away from Kirishima. He closed his eyes, the rain had started to settle on his jacket and flatten his static hair down. The worst part is, is that he would go to Kirishima's apartment tonight, and tell him nothing about what happened during the session.

They sat on Kirishima's bed together, holding hands. Kirishima's thumb was on top, rubbing on Bakugou's rough knuckles. His skin had started to scab up from earlier. Kirishima had a book in his hand, reading _Lysistrata _for class while Bakugou silently looked through his phone. Kirishima had music going on in the room since the night would be quiet.

Kirishima wasn't going to pressure Bakugou to talk about how the session went, it was something Bakugou would have to bring up. Kirishima understood how hard it was to discuss that type of thing. It wouldn't be fair to pry like that when Bakugou never did it to him. Kirishima switched the book to his other hand, making Bakugou's arm around his shoulders while he snuggled close to his side. Now holding Bakugou's other hand. Bakugou looked at the top of Kirishima's head and put his phone down, he kissed his scalp. Kirishima squeezes Bakugou's hand. He cleared his throat.

"'_Magistrate_:Don't men grow old?" Kirishima began to read, "'_Lysistrata:_Not like women. When a man comes home. Though he's grey as grief he can always get a girl. There's no second spring for a woman. can't recall it, nobody wants her, however. She squanders her time on the promise of oracles,It's no use…' What do you think that means?"

He placed the book to his chest and looked towards Bakugou. Bakugou hummed.

"It means you should pick a different line. Seriously, a sex-fuel play and you choose to read a line that talks about hags getting old?"

"I think Aristophanes wanted to bring up how it's not fair for women to get old and ugly but hey, interpret the text how you want."

Bakugou took the book from Kirishima's hand, holding it up high as he flipped through the pages.

"If you lose my spot I'm going to kill you."

"I ain't gonna mess up your spot," Bakugou said and stopped at a page, "'_Calonice_: "Well, Lysistrata dear, what exactly is this business you're calling us women together for? What's the deal? Is it a big one?" _Lysistrata_: "It's big." _Calonice_: "Not juicy as well?" _Lysistrata_: "Oh yes, it's big and juicy." _Calonice_: "Then how come we're not all here?" _Lysistrata_: "That's not what I meant!'... Now what do you think is meant by that?"

"Haha, smart ass, now give me my book back," Kirishima flipped over onto his stomach and reached up for his book, but Bakugou's arm stretched up higher, "Come on, stop playing."

"Take a break, why don't you? You were reading before I even got here," Bakugou said and put the book behind his head. His hand dipped down to Kirishima's back, "Wouldn't you rather be doin' somethin' else instead of readin' all night?"

Kirishima dropped his hand and pouted, "I think I know what you're thinking about doing," Kirishima said and put his chin on Bakugou's chest. He sighed, "I guess a break wouldn't kill me."

"Damn, when you say it like that…" Bakugou trailed.

Kirishima rolled his eyes and kissed Bakugou softly. Both their eyes closed briefly until Kirishima pulled away, he snuggled his cheek to his chest.

"Don't act like that, you know I love you." Kirishima breathed.

Bakugou swallowed, "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you gotta say that?"

"Well, because I love you."

"But how you gonna say that to me when I haven't said it back? That's a bit fucked don't you think?"

"Ugh, don't say it like that," Kirishima groaned, "You'll mess me all up and make me think about it all night."

"Well I'm serious, dummy. You gotta admit it's strange, right?"

"It's just how I feel..."

It was hard for Kirishima to say how he felt. For the longest time he didn't want anyone to know what he felt or what he was thinking because of how he thought they'd judge him over the stupidest things. And now, the person he loved was doing that exact thing. Kirishima lowered his head and darted his eyes to the side. he Bakugou lifted up Kirishima's head. He brushed away the little black strands of hair that had fallen to his cheeks. Looking into his gentle eyes, the puffiness was leaving underneath them. He ran his thumb against his cheek, Bakugou wanted to stop himself from doing so because of what he was going to say next, but there was no way to quit.

"What if it's not how I feel?"

Kirishima let out a heavy sigh and shrugged his shoulders. This wasn't the time to hold back, "It's okay… because I know that there's something in you that likes me more than anything. That it keeps you here with me and nowhere else. And if I think that's love from you then that's what it is and you don't have to say anything about it."

That feeling came back, the idea Bakugou had earlier in that office. On that stupid couch that once again, Kirishima was too good for Bakugou. And that it wasn't fair Bakugou was here with him now, in the palm of his hand for him to have as he pleased. Because Kirishima was drawn to him, Bakugou really wondered what it could have been. For both of them. Was it because Kirishima was easy? That he wanted someone who was greater than him to want him back. What did he have that Kirishima wouldn't let go of? What did Kirishima have that Bakugou couldn't let go? Bakugou felt in some way he needed to repay Kirishima, but how?

Bakugou leaned in and kissed Kirishima, holding his face in his palm as Kirishima sunk into the kiss. Bakugou grabbed Kirishima by the waist, moving him off him and laying Kirishima on his back. Kirishima smiled and bit Bakugou's bottom lip playfully. Bakugou took that as a continuation. He lifted up Kirishima's shirt and began to trail his hands down his chest, to his ribs, and down his belly. Bakugou went to Kirishima's pecks and licked around his nipple, earning a pleasurable sigh from him, he liked how his chest raised against his mouth.

"This is also why I don't mind you saying it back… If you didn't like me a whole lot, you wouldn't do this." Kirishima breathed.

That was only true for Kirishima. Love wasn't all about _this. _But Bakugou wasn't sure what was. But he wouldn't correct him, he'd continue to suck on his pink bud and rub his finger against the other. Kirishima let out a quiet moan as he moved his own hands underneath Bakugou's body. He fiddled with Bakugou's belt, undoing the button and sticking his hand down his pants. He rubbed his palm against Bakugou's cock, feeling his member tense up and slowly become hard. Kirishima grabbed Bakugou's collar and tugged on the fabric.

"I want your shirt off." Kirishima said.

"You ain't gonna ask nicely?"

"You wouldn't."

Bakugou clicked his tongue and smirked, "You're right," Bakugou sat up, cock rock hard against his underwear as he took off his shirt and tossed it to the side. He saw Kirishima eye his crotch, "You want it?"

"Of course I do."

Kirishima moved to his knees, leaning down as he snapped Bakugou's boxers. He chuckled and pulled them down, revealing his member, showing the little patch of dark blonde hair above it, all nice and trimmed. Kirishima pressed his lips to the tip. Sucking on the head as his hand stroked slowly. Bakugou let out a groan and watched as Kirishima's eyelashes flutter as his mouth would go down further and further, sucking harder and harder. Drool dripping off his lips, his hand grasping tighter around the shaft. Kirishima moaned around Bakugou's cock, Bakugou seethed and bit his bottom lip.

"Fuck…"Bakugou growled as his hips bucked forward, "Shit, shit, fuck! I'm gonna come already."

Kirishima looked up at Bakugou with glossy eyes, cheeks stained red as he bobbed his head down further, his tongue keeping up with his mouth. He gagged as Bakugou moved his hips along with Kirishima's movements. Bakugou panted as he looked down at him, feeling mightier than he ever had before. But he felt like that everytime Kirishima gave him that look. God, was Kirishima giving. Bakugou's stomach tensed up as he grit his teeth and came. He pulled away, his body winding down as he sat back on the bed, Kirishima swallowed, breathing heavily as he wiped his bottom lip. He chuckled and moved closer to Bakugou, rubbing his hands on his bare chest.

"Come on, you're not tired already are you?" Kirishima asked.

"Hell no," Bakugou said and grabbed him by the shoulders, throwing him down on his stomach and taking off his pants from behind, his dick rubbing up against Kirishima's ass as he pulled them down, "You'll get what you want too."

Kirishima sat up on his forearms as his back arched, his pants and underwear got down to the back of his knees. He kicked them off to help Bakugou so he could get lube from the drawer. Bakugou gave Kirishima's ass a nice, firm squeeze and then a gentle slap, Kirishima giggled. This was his favorite part. The childishness, the fun to it all, it really made Kirishima feel like they were a couple. All of these little motions and conversations between changes in positions. It made him feel like there was a chance between them, and that they'd be together for a long time.

Another tap came to the inside of Kirishima's thighs.

"Spread your legs."

Kirishima did so as Bakugou poured lube all over his fingers. His head lowered as he looked between his legs, viewing Bakugou's lower half and hand as a finger pressed slowly into his hole. Kirishima shortly gasped, briefly tensing up before letting out a sigh. He closed his eyes as Bakugou pressed forward. He placed his cheek to the bed and moaned as Bakugou pressed in a second finger, thrusting then inside slowly. Kirishima gripped the sheets of his bed, tugging at them as Bakugou moved faster. Bakugou kissed Kirishima's shoulder blade, he licked the back of Kirishima's neck. His skin tasted like salted caramels. Bakugou moves his lips to Kirishima's neck and sucked as his fingers began to curl inside of Kirishima. He felt looser and much easier to enter now. Moans become much more amorous with each thrust and Kirishima's legs naturally spread apart more.

"I-I'm ready, Bakugou." Kirishima muttered, parting his eyes open.

"Don't have to tell me twice," Bakugou pulled his fingers away, he poured more lube in his palm, he stroked his cock a few times, "Lift up your head. I can't see you like that."

Kirishima lifted up his head, his face tilted to the side, "You're having sex with me from behind, you can't see me that well to begin with."

"I can see you just fine like that."

Bakugou rubbed his cock up against Kirishima's crack before pressing the tip of his head in. Kirishima bit his bottom lip hard, arching his back up like a feline. Bakugou placed his hands on Kirishima's spin to try and make it dip back down. Bakugou eased all the way inside of Kirishima, pausing briefly so he'd get used to it. He felt so tight around Bakugou's member.

"Fuck." Kirishima grunted.

"Alright?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," Kirishima glanced back at Bakugou, "You can start moving, and before you ask, I'll be fine."

Bakugou let out a chuckle before he started to rock his hips forward. Very rough and slow since Kirishima was still so firm. But nice and deep so both of them would feel satisfied at the moment. Bakugou started to pant as he picked up speed in a smoother motion, his face becoming a rose color. They both felt wrapped in heat as their bodies connected, their hot breath making the room become a sauna.

Bakugou started to move faster, grabbing onto Kirishima's hips and making them snapback on his cock. Kirishima flipped his head back and moaned, his mouth stayed open. Moaning again and again as he rocked his hips back hard against Bakugou. Bakugou grabbed Kirishima's forearm and pulled it back behind him. Kirishima gasped as his body was raised partly. The angle changing made Bakugou smash deeper and rougher inside Kirishima. Kirishima began to drool as a new rush of lust came over him.

"Ho-oh fuck," Kirishima moaned, "Fuck I'm going to come, f-faster, Bakugou! Harder!"

Bakugou growled as he did what Kirishima asked. His hips were starting to get tired but no matter what, he'd make sure his pace wouldn't slow. That his pelvis wouldn't lose the strength it had. The rush of moans from Kirishima helped him stay motivated. Bakugou lifted him up more as his mouth nestled against Kirishima's neck. He bit down and began to suck. Kirishima tipped back his head and wrapped his arm around one of Bakugou's shoulders. Kirishima bucked his hips forward and with a last moan, came and began to slink back down to the bed. Shortly after Bakugou came inside of Kirishima and fell against his back.

They panted hard, Bakugou wrapped his arms around Kirishima's waist. After a while, Bakugou caught his breath in the sweaty pile they had made and closed his eyes.

"I want you to meet my parents…" Bakugou mumbled against Kirishima's ear.

"Huh?" Kirishima said, confused and still in a daze. He turned his head to peek at Bakugou, "What did you say?"

Bakugou glanced to the side, annoyed he had to repeat himself, "I said I want you to meet my parents… Maybe have dinner or somethin' like that.

Kirishima rolled over on his back and looked up at Bakugou. Kirishima wiped sweat off of Bakugou's forehead.

"Did… Did something bad happen?" Kirishima asked.

"Not any worse than usual," Bakugou rested his chin on Kirishima's chest, "Can't I just want you to see them and not be questioned about it?"

"It's just… Just strange. It's not like you is all to ask something like that-"

"Listen do you want to meet them or not?" Bakugou snapped.

"Of course."

"Good… I'll set up somethin' for Friday with the old man."

Kirishima smiled, he pressed Bakugou to his bare chest and snuggled his face in Bakugou's hair.

"Sounds nice."

Kirishima so badly wanted to say, "_What did she do to you today?"_

_So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. See you next update._


	12. Living at Home

**Hey guys, new update! It's a long one so buckle up. If you like the story give it a review, follow and/or favorite. I do not own MHA nor the characters used. Please enjoy!**

_11.30_

_I have a vivid memory. When I was eight, my father told me a story. He had just married my mother and she was five months pregnant with me. He made sure the movers put the couch in the house first thing so she could sit down while unwrapping glass cups and ceramic bowls. He told me my mom kept calling him 'Superman' as he carried in boxes one by one with his strong arms. Pop said my mom wanted to help build the crib but she didn't understand the complexity of wood and screws._

_She really wanted everything to do with you, boy._

_They didn't finish moving and unboxing everything until two weeks later. But once they did, my mother gave him the biggest 'smooch' on the lips, he then told me seeing her with child and looking so happy, that the house was truly his home. And even if he didn't always live in it, it would stay his house._

_At the time I didn't understand it, I just thought it was beautiful. But now, seeing Bakugou's house, this will not always be his home. It smells like laundry right when you walk in the household, and if Bakugou lived in a house, it would smell like stale cigarettes. There are so many open and bright colors, Bakugou's home would be covered in navy and colors that would keep heat inside. There's a coffee table book in the living room next to a candle. Bakugou's home would have a pen and pad on the table next to an old coffee mug. For a home that housed a teenage boy, it lacked dirty shoes by the door and a backpack in the kitchen chair. Bakugou must have left the idea of giving it a personal touch once his mother had gotten sick. He was already thinking of leaving, of investing in another area. This was the Bakugou household, but it wasn't for Katsuki Bakugou._

They both sat on the roof of the school, seeing the swift colors of the sunset begin to form. It was saturated in more hues of purples and blues as the weather began to become colder. Kirishima wished Bakugou would finish his cigarette sooner so they could briefly walk back into the school for warmth. His cheeks were cold, but it didn't seem to affect Bakugou that much even though he had been up here longer than Kirishima. But it seemed like Bakugou wanted to waste as much time as possible before he had to leave and take Kirishima to his house.

"Aren't you ever worried you're going to come home smelling like cigarettes?" Kirishima asked, just to make small talk.

"No. My dad smokes and my mom used to so they don't really think I smell any different. And even if they did say somethin' I wouldn't give a fuck about it. What are they gonna do? Tell me to stop? No way."

Kirishima chuckled, "So fearless," Kirishima said, "My Ma would bawl her eyes out if I even smelt like ash. She's very sensitive."

"Ah, so that's why you act like a pussy so much."

Kirishima nudged Bakugou, "Don't say that. It's a dirty word."

Bakugou rolled his eyes, Kirishima began to warm his hands between his thighs and scoot closer towards Bakugou.

"When we go to your house, how should I address your parents? Are they more of a Mr. Bakugou and Mrs. Bakugou type or more of a 'Just call me-' type?"

"I don't know, it's been a long time since I've had someone over. Can't remember what the gang called them," Bakugou tapped the ash off his cigarette, "You'll only be meeting my dad."

"I can't meet your mom? Not even to say hello?"

Bakugou shot Kirishima a look that answered the question. So he sighed and placed his head on Bakugou's shoulder.

"Would she like me?" Kirishima asked, "And if you don't want to answer that question: will your dad like me?"

Bakugou rolled his eyes and stubbed his cigarette out on the concert, setting them next to all the old butts he had smoked up there before.

"My dad likes you already. When I told him I was bringing you over, he flipped out and started askin' me all the different kinds of food you like and if you'd like wine to drink with dinner. He started cleaning up the place three days before tonight."

That made Kirishima smile, "Did you tell him I like anything and everything to do with meat?"

"He's makin' gyukatsu."

That made him smile even wider as he snuggled his face in Bakugou's neck. His skin felt warm on his cold nose.

I hope he's as good of a cook as you are," Kirishima kissed his cheek, "Did you tell them I was your boyfriend and not just your really good friend?"

"I told them you were my boyfriend when we first started dating."

"You did?"

"Why'd you say it like that? Are you surprised?"

"Well, yeah. You're not the type to open up to something like that so easily, let alone say it yourself."

"When a boy hangs out at another boy's house as much as I do at yours, I think it's safe to assume we ain't just hangin' out."

Kirishima chuckled, "You must think they thought you were already into dudes. Guys hang out with each other all the time and it's not to just hold hands and have sex."

Bakugou looked over at Kirishima, he put his arm around him and kissed his forehead.

"Guess I outed myself."

"Guess so…" Kirishima trailed, "Would your mom like me?"

"That old hag would probably stand you and much as I do."

"Then I guess she'd like me a lot."

"Guess so," For whatever reason, that didn't sound very confident, "Let's go."

It was about six o'clock when they arrived at the house. Bakugou unlocked the door with his key and pushed in like a breeze. It was a nice, average looking house from the outside. The color white and the door red with small glass windows. It smelt floral as the boys walked inside. Kirishima took off his shoes but Bakugou didn't bother with it, he walked forward to what Kirishima assumed to the kitchen, while he took in the place. The coffee table was made of glass, the bookshelf was black, the tv was flat, the end tables were brown, and the couch was plush and big. Kirishima snakes around the small room, feeling the fluffy carpet on his socks as he peeked at little pictures in frames.

One with Bakugou, young and stringy, standing next to a giant fish, Midoriya admiring his might. One classic baby picture of what seemed to be Bakugou's father sleeping while Bakugou slept on his chest. There were many childhood memories all around the room, but Kirishima couldn't take his eyes off the one that made him think it was Bakugou's mother that was set on a high shelf. It was in a small, dusty frame, taken with a Poloroid camera. The picture was taken from the side, up close to her face. There was no cigarette in the picture but Kirishima could see smoke around her little nose. She seemed deep in thought, her eyes relaxed just like her sons when they're not mad, but just were a bloody red. Her hair resembling the same puffy blonde strands, her skin very pale and looked like a very old picture. Like one that a young lover takes of you in the spur of the moment and thinks you're gorgeous. She was very beautiful, so much so Kirishima couldn't take his eyes off her. He only turned his attention away from the photo once Bakugou came back into the living room and called for him.

"Hey, stop creepin' around. Old man wants to see you."

"Oh, yeah."

Kirishima turned around and walked towards the kitchen. He heard humming and the sweet smell of cooking meat grease a pan. Bakugou's father was washing his hands in the sink, he wiped his hands on the apron and turned around, he smiled at Kirishima.

He was built well, very fit with a square face and glasses. His hair brown and spiked with a wispy mustache underneath his nose. He was very inviting and trustworthy looking. It was clear that Bakugou got a lot of features from his mother, but the very rare smile, that's what Bakugou got from his father. His confidence had to be from his mother, and his passion from this man. That's at least what Kirishima could tell and what he would believe until proven otherwise. This teddy bear had to be buried deep somewhere in Bakugou. He began to walk forward, making extra sure his hands were dry.

"Hello! You must be Kirishima, very nice to meet you finally, young man."

Kirishima grabbed his hand and shook, it was a powerful grip, "Nice to meet you too Mr. Bakugou."

He waved his hand at Kirishima, "Don't call me that, call me Masaru."

"Yes, sir."

Masaru pulled his hand away and continued to grin, "Well, dinner is going to be ready soon. You're hungry aren't you?"

"Yes, sir, very. I've been thinking about this all day."

Not because of the food, but the interaction.

"Hope you brought your appetite then. I went a bit overboard, it's been awhile since Suki has brought anyone over. It's usually just us two eating a meal together."

Kirishima briefly smiled from the cute nickname Masaru had given his son. But Bakugou had his arms crossed as he leaned on the doorframe of the kitchen entrance, he rolled his eyes at the name.

"Hey, do you like wine?" Masaru asked and pulled out a chair for Kirishima, "Heh, we're the kind of family that likes a little wine around dinner time-oh shit-shoot! Your mother wouldn't mind that would she?"

"She doesn't live with him old man, I already told you that." Bakugou piped up.

"Well, still, I wouldn't want him doing something she wouldn't like."

"She wouldn't mind." Kirishima sat down in the chair.

Masaru nodded, "Wonderful, Suki, get some glasses for your Pop, yeah? And start setting up the table, the gyukatsu is almost ready to come out of the pan."

"I'm not a damn work horse, you know?" Bakugou said but then started to gather silverware from the drawer and plates from the cupboard.

Masaru lowered the heat on the stove and started to take out slices of the breaded meat and sat them on a plate. He grabbed a bowl and scooped out big piles of white rice in it. It was funny how excited this man was to see another boy in his house other than his son. He must have been happy for Bakugou. This meant he wasn't fully gone, that he could still make relationships and that he wasn't alone like he had been for so long. Maybe he thought Bakugou was finally growing up and had forgiven his parents for this hardship. But, at this time, it was all a detour. This was good enough though, this was hopeful. Bakugou sat a plate down in front of Kirishima and sat down the utensils soon after, then a wine glass.

"I hope you like red wine," Masaru said with his head in a cupboard, holding a green wine bottle in his hand, "It's uh, the only kind we really have."

"Red is fine, sir. Thank you very much."

"Jesus, so polite, how has that not rubbed off on you, Suki?"

"Shut up, you bastard. He can't help it." Bakugou sneered.

"Oh Katsuki," Bakugou's father crept up behind him and locked his arm around his neck tightly and gave him a nuggie, "Watch your mouth or I'll make you eat a bar of soap."

"Hey! Let go of me, you old fart!" Bakugou exclaimed and grabbed Masaru's arm. Once his father thought he had enough, then he let go and smacked Bakugou's shoulder. Bakugou huffed heavily afterwards, Kirishima couldn't help but laugh at the whole situation.

Bakugou's cheeks became pink with embarrassment as he fixed his hair. It seemed like his father would play with him like that often, but no one had seen it in so long. It made Kirishima remember that Bakugou was human, with a real house, with a real father, and a real _life. _That he was filled with dynamic relationships that Kirishima wasn't able to examine before. That Bakugou was a person before Kirishima ever met him. Later, Kirishima would figure out that made him less special than he thought he was but, for the moment it was very nice. Very personal.

Bakugou finished setting up the table and Masaru took off the apron he was wearing, setting it on the kitchen counter before grabbing a corkscrew. He pulled off the top of the bottle and poured wine into Kirishima's glass first, then his own. Then Bakugou's. Masaru grabbed the food and sat it down on the table, the Bakugou men then sat down finally. Kirishima took in a great big sniff and hummed.

"It smells very good, sir," Kirishima said, "Looks good too."

"Thank you, well, go on, dig in. Guests always go first."

Kirishima nodded and grabbed a few slices of the meat and then a scoop of rice on his plate. Bakugou sat next to Kirishima, one arm under his armpit as he swirled the wine in his glass. He stared at Kirishima's legs for whatever reason as Kirishima picked at the food.

"Eat up, Suki," Masaru said after Kirishima was done getting his food. He soon began to set up his own plate, "So, Katsuki tells me you're in the writing club."

Conversation began around the dinner table. Most of it between Masaru and Kirishima. Bakugou would chirp in every-so-often out of some embarrassing comment his father said or something Kirishima had revealed. Like how when Bakugou was little he blew bubbles through a straw in his chocolate milk, Kirishima brought up how he saw him do that with a glass of orange juice one morning. Or that Bakugou sleeps with his belly out. Bakugou mostly drank and stuffed his face while Masaru and Kirishima picked at their dish. He wasn't in his element here, and especially not around his father and boyfriend together. It was strange, but Kirishima didn't mind, he expected it. For Bakugou to be distant and feel awkward, this probably was never in mind for him to actually plan.

But the thing that strikes Kirishima as the strangest thing, was Bakugou's father recalling all the things Bakugou had told him before they met. 'Katsuki says your favorite show to watch is old Red Riot cartoons', 'Katsuki says you do well in school', 'Katsuki says you like action movies. I like the only Samurai movies', 'Katsuki says... Katsuki says'... How often was he talked about at the Bakugou household? Why was he brought up so much and why would Bakugou willingly give up that kind of information? Maybe the answer was simple: because it was his father. Kirishima tried not to let it bother him too much, but he thought about it a lot throughout the dinner table talk. Not while Bakugou's hand stayed on Kirishima's thigh and would give a squeeze every now and then.

By the time Masaru and Kirishima were done eating, Bakugou had already washed his own dish. He said he was going up stairs for a little bit and to call him back down once the two were done cleaning up. He didn't want any dessert. So, there Kirishima was, sitting backwards in a kitchen chair, melting chocolate ice cream was behind him as Masaru started to clean the dishes. Kirishima asked him to tell stories of a young Bakugou while he was upstairs.

Masaru chuckled, "Then Midoriya comes running in the house with this gardener snake bite on his cheek. And he's crying like crazy, the poor little boy. While Suki is telling him 'shut up, stupid, shut up! It ain't that bad'."

"Wow, even little Bakugou was insultive."

"No, not really. He was worried that Midoriya would tell me and Katsuki's mother that they were playing in a place they shouldn't have been while catching bugs. And my god, did she give him a talking to while I helped," It sounded like Masaru had a smile on his face while he turned on the faucet to wash a dish, "Yeah, that was just like my Mitsuki…"

Kirishima crossed his arms on the back of the chair and rested his chin on them. _Mitsuki_. How nice it was to place a face with the woman he saw in the picture frame earlier. Kirishima hummed, and he wondered if in the moment of nostalgia Masaru was in, if he could get more information out of him that he always wanted to know.

"Sir...What's your wife like?" Kirishima asked.

It's always like Masaru couldn't wait to answer that question. Like it had been such a long time since someone had asked about her.

"Oh, Mitsuki. She's a beautiful woman, I don't know how a guy like me ever landed someone like her. She's very smart, quick witted, but she has a hot head. Her temper would get her into trouble 's where Bakugou gets it from. She was tough on him because she knew what Katsuki could become. But she truly is a softie," Masaru hummed, "She was a force to be reckoned with… she was someone that you wanted to fight your battles for you because she would just butt in and do it anyway. She was very passionate about the people she loved."

"How long has she been…"

"Sick? Boy, probably for about four years now. The doctors said that she had a year when they found out she was ill. Two tops. But she's stubborn as ever. I'm worried I'll kick the bucket before she does." Masaru sadly chuckled.

"That must be very hard on you. Bakugou said she recently went to the hospital and that it wasn't very good… I'm sorry."

"It's never usually very good. But you get used to it. I've accepted that better than Katsuki has."

Kirishima felt his mouth slowly become dry, he wanted to ask so many things. But how do you ask a man about his dying wife that he shares memories about and his frustrated son that doesn't hunt for bugs anymore? But he would let out things Bakugou never would. It was very selfish.

"How do you accept that though? I mean, how can you accept the fact that- I'm sorry to say this but- that there's nothing you can do about it?"

Masaru turned off the faucet. He turned around to face Kirishima and leaned back on the counter, palms wet.

"Kirishima, when you love someone so dearly. And when you've been with them for a long time, you're willing to do anything for them. When Mitsuki first got sick, it was her first real bad day. I was crying so much because it started to sink in. Mitsuki held my hand, looked me in the eyes and said 'If you ever feel sorry for me. I'm gonna kill you'. At that moment what she was really asking me to do was to accept the whole situation. So that's what I did. I'd do anything for her."

Kirishima scrunched his lips together. It was a very selfless, adult thing to say. Something only a grown up would think of. Whether he really did accept it or not, it seemed to work for Masaru. Kirishima ran his fingers through his bangs. His legs started to feel numb in the spread position but he could bear it for a little longer. He was interested in all the things the woman he never would meet had done.

"And Bakugou?"

Masaru tapped his fingers on the counter and blew air from the side of his mouth, looking up at the ceiling as if an answer was written up there. He scratched his head. He moved away and from the pocket of his shirt he grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He sat down next to Kirishima. He popped on in his mouth, guilty offering one to Kirishima. He declined. Masaru lit the end and breathed out.

"My son has changed alot since Mitsuki got sick. It's sad, really. He used to bring his friends over, used to laugh, get into trouble now and then, give his old man a little cuddle too-heh. Now… He doesn't do much of anything, unless it's with you but that's none of my concern," Masaru tapped some ash in a crystal tray, "He's… he's frustrated with all of this. I mean, this all started when he was a kid and now he's a young man still going through this. Any boy would change. I think he just wants to get it over with already. But it's still his mother though, you know? It's hard on him whether he wants to admit it or not. I wish I could do something for him… But there's no way of talking him into , just like his mother I suppose."

Kirishima chewed his cheek and tapped on the chair. He leaned forward, "Do you remember that night you called Bakugou, sir?" Masaru nodded, "He was at my house. And he wouldn't tell me what was wrong and later of course I found out about it. The hospital trip like I said but... Sir, why do you think he wouldn't tell me what was wrong?"

Kirishima asked this, because there was no wrong answer. Simply ideas that could arise from a father's mind. A father who hadn't been asked such deep questions in a very long time by any young man. It was just assumptions, and it was okay if they weren't right, but it would bring Kirishima one step closer to the truth. Masaru took a drag and breathed out heavily.

"I don't think he wants any one too close to him. He's very strong,much stronger than me. He just doesn't want anyone to take that from him," Masaru placed his elbows on his legs, "Vulnerability isn't something he wants to show… And if you know too much about something you could seriously damage him."

"Do you think I will, sir?"

"No. But that's what he thinks. Kirishima, you have to understand… He thinks that one of the people who he cared about the most let him down. It's going to be hard for him to let that happen again," The conversation was beginning to become too heavy. Masaru slapped Kirishima's leg and stood up, stubbing out his cigarette, "Enough of that. Go head up stairs. I'm sure Katsuki could use the company."

Kirishima leaned back, his shoulders relaxing. He nodded and got up, pushing the chair back into place.

"Yes, sir...Thank you for talking to me."

"You're welcome."

Kirishima walked out of the kitchen and headed up the carpeted stairs, holding tightly to the rail. Once he got to the hallway, Bakugou walked out of a room and leaned against the door as it closed. He closed his eyes broadly before rubbing his face. Bakugou turned his head and saw Kirishima. He raised an eyebrow.

"Your dad said I should come up here. Said you needed the company." Kirishima said.

"Yeah, sounds like something that old man would say," Bakugou moved away from the door and walked towards Kirishima. He wrapped his arms around his waist and gave him a hug. Kirishima patted his back, "Did you eat ice cream?"

Kirishima nodded, "Chocolate," Something felt off. About the hug. About the question, "Hey, I want a tour of your room before the night is over."

Bakugou pulled away and grabbed Kirishima's wrist. They walked further down the hall, As Bakugou led the way, Kirishima couldn't help but look at the white door behind them. He only contemplated what could be behind there. Bakugou opened the door, he walked in the dark room and plugged in a set of string lights that surrounded the room. Lighting the place up dimly while the super hero figurines looked like shadows against the dark lit wall. Kirishima looked around, seeing the black quilt on the bed, the book shelf filled with mangas and school books, the small tv in the corner, laptop on a desk, end table with an assortment of stickers on it,ashtray and little lamp next to the bed. It smelt like a firewood scented candle. Kirishima couldn't help but smile. The room fit him well for stoned nights of studying, or a little too much wine with dinner on a school night. It was a good place to hide. Not too much sensory overload during a rough night but enough to distract anyone if need be. Bakugou sat down on the bed while Kirishima looked at his shelf of All Might figures in different action poses. He touched their little hands and giggled while Bakugou lit up a cigarette.

"I like your figures. They're really good quality," Kirishina said and looked at the titles of books in the bookshelf, "And I didn't know you had the taste for 90's manga. I have to see your movie collection next."

Bakugou inhaled smoke then breathed out, it danced all around his face. He set up his phone to connect to a speaker. He set up a song. Bakugou patted his leg while he looked over at Kirishima, urging him to come over. Kirishima smiled and lingered towards Bakugou. Placing his hand on his shoulder while he sat down on Bakugou's lap, Bakugou's hand snuck onto Kirishima's hip. Bakugou lifted up his cigarette and Kirishima placed it between his fingers to take a drag.

_When there's a trap,_

_Set up for you._

_In every corner of this town. _

"You like nosing around here, huh?" Bakugou said, brushing his nose against Kirishima's neck.

Kirishima nodded and breathed out, placing the cigarette between his lips.

"Mostly because I don't think it'll happen again. Or not that often. Need to soak up all I can see."

Bakugou tapped off some ash before settling the cigarette between the teeth of the ashtray. Bakugou's other hand squeezed Kirishima's thigh out of comfort while his lips kissed his skin.

"You're right about that one," Bakugou muttered, "But my old man will probably make it hard for me to not bring you around every once in awhile. He seems to like you, bastard."

Kirishima chuckled and tipped his head back, his arms wrapping around his shoulders, "I know, I'm horrible aren't I?" Kirishima ran his fingers through Bakugou's hair, "Maybe next time… I can meet her."

"Don't push it."

_And so you know,_

_The only way to go is_

_Underground._

Bakugou moved his lips to Kirishima's, and pressed against them before Kirishima could reply back. Kirishima closed his eyes as Bakugou began to fall back on the bed with Kirishima on top. Their lips moving in rhythm with each other, very familiar with the motion by now. Bakugou's hands glided down his sides down to Kirishima's ass. Kirishima softly moaned, he pulled away and sat his hands firmly on Bakugou's chest.

"Wait, we can't do this," Kirishia breathed, his face so close to Bakugou's, "Your dad is down stairs."

"And that's where he's gonna stay. He aint gonna be bargin' up here," Bakugou pushed his hands in Kirishima's pants, "If we stay quiet, he won't hear anything over the music."

"Bakugou."

Bakugou pressed his lips to Kirishima's again to silence him. Kirishima blushed from the fact he wanted Bakugou and how schoolboy this felt. How he was having a moment many high schoolers have. Trying to hide kisses and unclothe each other without getting caught. How lustful noises from touches had to now become abysmal. This was how teenage memories were made, by trying to stay a secret. Kirishima pulled away as Bakugou's firm hands squeezed his cheeks, he buried his head in Bakugou's neck kissing over again and again. Bakugou started to shuffle off Kirishima's pants as he panted quietly against his ear. They must stay close to each other, not move too much.

Kirishima rolled up Bakugou's shirt and began to kiss his chest. Bakugou was able to lower Kirishima's pants enough for him to kick them off, Kirishima lapped his tongue over Bakugou's nipple. His warm breath moist over the tender flesh, Bakugou tipped back his head and sighed. As Kirishima sucked and licked, Bakugou rubbed his hand against Kirishima's crotch, soon shoving his hand down his boxers and stroking him. Kirishima slightly bit down to contain his noises.

"Open up the drawer over there," Bakugou grunted, "There's lube and a condom."

Kirishima licked his lips and sat up on Bakugou's hips. He opened up the drawer and grabbed the bottle of lube and condom package. He placed the items on the bed and took off his shirt, tossing it to the side as he made Bakugou do the same. He leaned down, chest to chest with Bakugou. It felt romantic.

"We should be quick about this, right?" Kirishima said.

_When there's a trap,_

_Set up for you_

_In every corner of your room._

"Probably."

Kirishima nodded and started to undo Bakugou's pants and quickly pull them down, along with his boxers.

"Then we'll be quick," Kirishima pulled his underwear off all way, "Get the condom on and lube up."

"Jesus, quick means quick to you."

"Do you need more foreplay?"

"No."

"Then stop talking and do what I just told you, please."

_And so you know,_

_The only way to go is,_

_Through the roof._

Bakugou clicked his tongue but began to follow Kirishima's instructions. He tore open the package with his teeth and rolled it on his member. He poured the lube in his hand and started to stroke his cock.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Bakugou asked.

"We've done this enough times now. I think I'll be alright. I'll be on top so I have better control. Are you ready?"

"Fuck yeah."

Kirishima didn't hesitate. He lifted up his hips and positioned himself above Bakugou's twitching cock. Kirishima looked down and started to lower down, feeling the tip enter him. Kirishima bit his lip and started to go down slowly. Filling up and feeling the pressure. Bakugou closed his eyes and put his arms under his head. Kirishima moaned after taking the full length, he put his hands on Bakugou's chest as he relaxed around looked down at Bakugou, and it was something else to see.

Bakugou's cheeks were bright red, brighter than Kirishima had ever seen before. His skin glistening with a light film of sweat, and his wet lips parted as he shortly breathed out. His eyes clenched so tightly, crinkling his face. He looked gorgeous, so fragile in this state. Kirishima had to press his palm to Bakugou's warm cheek. Bakugou's eyes opened and eyebrows narrowed.

"You gonna start moving?" Bakugou groaned.

With that, Kirishima began to move. Kirishima was so focused looking at Bakugou's fingertips tracing the structure of Bakugou's face. Watching every time his mouth opened up wider as Kirishima went down. Looking at where Bakugou's glassy eyes would focus; Kirishima's belly button, his eyebrows, a figurine on the shelf, the bed frame. How his nose would flare up when Kirishima picked up the pace and how drops of sweat would roll down his plump cheeks. Kirishima knew it was weird and he would never tell Bakugou this, but he was looking for all the parallels in Bakugou's face and comparing them to his mother.

They had sex, and afterwards relaxed, only briefly. Kirishima got fully dressed while Bakugou only changed back into his pants. Bakugou felt tired and offered Kirishima a bed to nap in with him. It was only eight at night. Kirishima would only stay as late at ten.

Kirishima stood outside the door. He was so afraid to see what was behind it but also very excited. He had to be quiet, he couldn't let Bakugou or his father know what he was doing. Kirishima's palms were sweaty, but he turned the doorknob and pushed in. He was thankful the door wasn't squeaky. The room was dark, which was best for this situation. Kirishima didn't want to know what was beeping in a corner, nor what monitor light showed off of the window next to a bed. This felt like an out of body experience. In a dark and empty-like room made him feel as if he was in another dimension. One he was never supposed to could see a shape in the room, very slim and dressed in darkness. He closed the door and saw the figure move. Make a faint whine like it had been sleeping for awhile now.

"Suki?" A faint voice said, "Two times in one day? It's late, you know I like to sleep at this time."

"I-I'm sorry ma'am but… I'm not Bakugou."

"Hmm? Then who are-oh, wait. Suki said he had some company. I didn't think he'd bring you here. And so late, I'm gonna kill that boy."

"He didn't exactly. He's asleep and Masaru is downstairs. They don't know I'm here."

"Tch. Little creep," She jokingly said, "If I could get up, I'd beat your ass for catchin' me like this. I look horrible."

"I'm sorry ma'am but… You're Bakugou's mom right?"

"Who else would it be? It is my house after all. My room. You're Ejiro Kirishima, aren't you? Suki's boyfriend?"

"Yes ma'am."

"You should have introduced yourself earlier. Didn't your mother teach you any manners?"

"I'm sorry ma'am."

She softly sighed, "Come closer. You can't talk to me so far away. That's what you want to do, right?"

Kirishima swallowed and walked forward.

"So what do you want to say?"

"Nothing but… But it's nice to finally meet you. That's all I really wanted to say."

"You're a very strange boy."

"I know, this whole thing is very strange, huh?" Kirishima nervously chuckled.

"I suppose you're right. I didn't think I'd ever meet another one of Suki's friends. Let alone a boyfriend. So… I guess it's very nice to meet you too."

"Thank you, Mitsuki."

"Ugh, you must have been raised in a barn. You call me Mrs. Bakugou."

_So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. See you next update. _


	13. Lucky You

**Hey guys! New wholesome chapter that I hope you guys will enjoy. If you like the story please review, follow, and favorite if you do. Showing support really helps. I do not own MHA nor the characters used. Enjoy!**

_12\. 5_

_I have decided that I like the writing club now. I think I've liked the writing club and what it is for a while now but I'm finally admitting it. I think I like it because it's usually empty and it's just me and Shinso in there. Discussing our past like open books, reading each other like long lost letters. I do this a lot now because I miss seeing other people than Bakugou. Kaminari is still mad at me I believe, so I think he told the others to kind of avoid me until it's all settled. Sero and Mina would easily go along with something like that and I don't think Jiro cared that much about me in the first place. But it can't be settled, Kaminari won't answer my texts and he'll barely look at me in class. He hasn't come over to my house in quite some time since Bakugou returned. It makes me sad. He's very petty, but it's to be expected by a guy like him. That's not me saying he's a bad guy- he's still very much so my friend and I know he'll get over this- it's just… he's not the brightest when it comes to a lot of things. _

_But Shinso isn't like that. He's very smart, I feel like he knows what's right and wrong and I don't believe that he thinks hanging out with me is wrong. We read aloud our responses to the writing prompts he puts up every meeting and that's what makes him think I'm a stand up guy. Because now I have the guts to say how I feel around him. And I think Shinso is great too, I just need him to talk to Kaminari for me or do anything to help me… I miss him. I miss my friend, when I didn't think I could miss anyone more than Bakugou._

The word written on the board today was _Luck. _Kirishima was using the pen Ms Kayama had given him, he only used it for the club because he was afraid of one day losing it. The few regulars who showed up stayed far apart, they scribbled in their own notebooks, probably writing something different than what was written on the board. Sometimes, after they'd leave, Shinso and Kirishima would speculate what they wrote down. The orange hair girl would write about how she was insecure about her 'man hands'. The boy with the sad look on his face and dark hair would write about how excited he was for the weekend to hang out with his best friend and maybe that friend would wrap his arm around his shoulder. The long green haired girl with the worried face would talk about how God visited her in her sleep again. Shinso really wished that some day they'd muster up the courage to say what they thought. But that wouldn't happen, he wasn't the type of guy to push things from people who didn't want to be pushed.

They all wrote in silence for about thirty minutes. Usually at the twenty minute mark people would start to leave without saying goodbye. Shinso really thought that people only came just to say they're apart of a club when they really didn't want to be.

"Alright, you ready?" Shinso asked.

"No, not yet, I still want to write a few more sentences," Kirishima said, not looking up from his paper, "You can start if you want."

"You won't listen."

"I'm a good listener, you know that. Go on. I won't be long."

Shinso rolled his eyes but picked up his journal and cleared his throat.

"_I had gotten a ninety-eight percent on the entrance exams. Ninety-eight. I knew that a score like that would definitely get me into a fancy school like UA no problem. I had studied all night, every night for a week straight before the entry exams. I had eaten breakfast every morning, and I had limited my social interactions with everyone. All of that got me a ninety-eight on those tests. When I called my mother to tell her what I scored she said to me in such a proud voice 'Luck must be on your side, baby.' And my heart sunk. My own mother, thinking that luck had something to do with it and not just me. Myself putting in all this hard work, she believed something that can never be proven did the job and not her son. Of course, all I did was just agree with her, I couldn't tell her how much that sentence devastated me. But in the end, even if luck had something to do with my test score, all it did was get me into general studies at UA. It had to be because of my background. All my hard work and all that so called 'luck' got me into the courses that everyone else took. I wasn't seen as any better than anyone else who went here. Luck isn't fair."_

Shinso put down his journal, Kirishima glances up from his notebook before clicking his pen and placing it down on the table.

"You always write about sad stuff, Shinso." Kirishima said.

"Only if I don't get a good night's sleep." That was supposed to be a joke.

Kirishima rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Okay, I'm done."

Shinso crosses his arms and leaned back in his chair, "Go on then," Shinso nudged, "Speak your truth."

He said that often. As if everything had to somehow relate to what the inner psyche would always show on a page. Only writing would reveal it. Kirishima picked up his journal and licked his lips just enough to wet them.

"_So easily, he came to me when I wasn't expecting it. Plopped himself right beside me on that bus and gave me the biggest smile I had seen in awhile. Like a little puppy on the street wanting to say hello to everyone with a long tongue and wagging tail. At first, it was worrisome. I was the one who was supposed to talk to people, assert myself for myself so I could say 'I did it'. But he came to me with open arms and a voice I couldn't say no to. I had to accept him, he had to show me into his life and let it be known that it would be good. He welcomed me, showed me around town, helped me meet friends… helped me find someone I love and doesn't demand I tell him how thankful I am for all of that. I should say thank you to him now that I think about it. At this point, he deserves it for all of his kindness...I may be someone's best friend. But Kaminari, he's mine. _And that's all I wrote down." Kirishima closed his book and looked at Shinso.

Shinso always did this thing where he would blankly state at the edge of the desk to process what he had listened to. He really made you think he cared. He sat up straight in his chair and rubbed his chin, glancing over at Kirishima.

"Hmmm… something tells me… you're missing Kaminari." That was another joke, but in Shinso's voice, it sounded more serious than a heart attack.

Kirishima sighed and placed his palm on his cheek, "Yeah,I do. It feels like forever since I've seen him."

"You saw him today. Unless he skipped class and if that happened me and him are going to have to have a talk."

"No, I saw him but… I didn't really get to _see _him. He hasn't really paid any attention to me," Kirishima rubbed his arm, "Has he said anything about me?"

Shinso chuckled and crossed his arms, "Nothing that you'd really like to know. He's still pretty upset about what you said to him while Bakugou was gone. And he's gotten more mad over the fact that you took him back afterwards," Shinso ran a hand through his hair, "I've tried asking him if he was done being mad and to just go over to your house for some drinks, but everytime he says no and leaves it at that. I wish he'd get over it already but that's just not him. He's a big baby."

Kirishima sighed and rested his chin on the desk, then his cheek, "I wish he'd get over it too. I… I just want him to at least look at me so I have a reason to walk over to him and say I'm sorry."

"Tch, why do you need that?"

"A reason? I just… I don't know, I always need some kind of reason to do something like this."

"Something like this? _This _being a conversation?"

"Yeah…"

Shinso closed his eyes and shook his head, he leaned back in his chair, lifting the front legs off the ground.

"Just talk to him. I mean, you see him as your best friend, right? Or was that just a lie?"

No. No, it wasn't a lie. It was the truth, it may have been one of Kirishima's biggest truths that he owned. Kirishima couldn't just sit there and see his best friend become so distant with him. No, he had to take action. He had to man up like he always wanted to, what he's been trying to do, and talk to him first. He already had wasted so much time for no reason. Kirishima was now wondering how he could fear an interaction from such a good friend? He wanted to be like Kaminari the first day they met. With Kaminari finding no other reason to talk to Kirishima other than the fact he wanted to. Kirishima lifted his head and turned his whole body around to face Shinso. He had a glow in his eyes, a thought in his head.

"Are you meeting Kaminari today?" Kirishima asked, suddenly.

"Well yeah, you know that." Shinso raised an eyebrow.

"Your house, right?"

"Yeah, my parents aren't home, I gave him my key earlier today, he should already be there. Why do you want to know so badly? You're weirding me out."

"Will you invite me over?"

"What?"

"Invite me over," Kirishima repeated, "If Kaminari won't come to my house, then you have to invite me over so I can see him. Then I can talk to him and apologize."

Shinso rubbed the back of his neck and averted his eyes away, "I uh-I don't know. It's kind of sudden and um-Kaminari and I already made plans-"

"Listen, I know you two have sex like rabbits and you'll want to attack each other at the door, but please, I won't even be there long. It'll be a quick visit."

Shinso chewed his cheek and sighed loudly. His eyes are still far from Kirishima's. With that straight face of his, he looked awfully worried.

"I don't want him to be mad at _me, _Kirishima. Maybe another day."

"No, it has to be now, Shinso."

Now with all this bravery in him. He had to do it before it flew away.

"Kirishima…"

Kirishima grabbed both of Shinso's hands, causing him to look at him again. And in Kirishima's eyes, he saw something that Shinso had never seen before in him: determination. Kirishima's grip was tight, his eyebrows up high, not showing any weakness nor flexibility in his choices. He had a heat to him that was shot right into Shinso's palms. And it caused Shinso to listen. And what Kirishima would say next, Shinso wouldn't be able to say no to him.

"Please, Hitoshi. Let me speak my truth to him."

Without hesitation, Shinso nodded his head, "I'll text him now and tell him we're having a visitor," Shinso pulled out his phone, "I'll make sure he's decent."

Kirishima smiled, he pulled his hand away, clenching and unclenching them. He felt like there was so much energy in him, like a ball of light was in his stomach waiting to be digested. He wanted to give Shinso a hug, but he knew that wasn't his licked his lips as he saw Shinso type out the message.

"What are you saying?"

Shinso sent the message and glanced up at Kirishima, "I told him I'm bringing a surprise guest and that he'll only be there for an hour. Get that?"

"Yeah, I got it. Thank you so much."

"Don't mention it. And if I get in trouble because of you and _my _plans don't go 're dead."

Kirishima chuckled even though Shinso was entirely serious with that threat. Kirishima's head felt empty, his heart was full of ambition. But he wasn't thinking about what he was going to say to Kaminari. For once, he wasn't overthinking, he was thinking about the present and how that made him feel. It felt good to have confidence.

The butterflies hadn't left Kirishima's chest, and that was a good thing. He didn't feel the need to back down and wait, he felt like running to Shinso's house, knocking the door down, and find Kaminari to give him a great big hug, then tell him he's sorry. But Kirishima didn't know the way to Shinso's house very well. They didn't talk that much on the bus ride and the walk there to the home. The sync was in front of them and starting to sink down in the sky. Becoming a light purple and the shadows showing on their faces as they walked. It was cold out, even with their hands in their coat pockets, it couldn't keep out the weather.

They got to the sort of the home, Kirishima breathed out deeply, the heels of his feet kept moving up and down and hands contracting into fists. Shinso looked at Kirishima, he leaned on the door frame and crossed his arms.

"You look… ready." Shinso said.

"I am ready… but you have to knock on that door."

"I do?"

"Yes. Please."

Shinso raised an eyebrow and smirked. At least now he thought that Kirishima's enthusiasm was funny and not so dangerous to his relationship now. He knocked on the door, the sound it made was like a loud beating drum to Kirishima. He stepped back from the door, he was now planning, it would be better if Kaminari saw Shinso first before himself. The two of them heard little feet run across the floor straightened up as the noise sounded closer, Kirishima hide behind him slightly. Kaminari swung the door open, grinning widely as he saw Shinso. He basically attached himself to Shinso.

"Hey babe! 'Bout time!" Kaminari said and wrapped his arms around his neck. He gave Shinso a humming kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, don't go kissing me already." Shinso pat Kaminari's back.

"Well why not-" Kaminari opened his eyes and saw Kirishima standing behind Shinso, "What's he doing here?"

"This is why I told you not to kiss me yet," Shinso pulled away and passed Kaminari. Glancing over at Kirishima, "He's our guest, Denki. Welcome him in."

Shinso went inside while Kirishima stayed outside and Kaminari in the doorway. Kaminari crossed his arms, he wasn't glaring at Kirishima, but it wasn't a pleasant look either. Kirishma gave a small smile and waved his hand.

"Hey. How's it going?" Kirishima asked.

Kaminari rolled his eyes and walked inside. If Shinso wasn't so close by, he probably would have shut the door. Kirishima lowered his hand and began to walk inside. All of a sudden, all that courage had been sucked out of him. But he couldn't let that stop him. Kirishima shut the door behind him and took off his shoes. He couldn't see the couple, but he could hear a conversation coming from the kitchen.

Kirishima sat down on the couch with his hands in his lap. It was harsh whispers he heard,it was hard to make anything out. But he hoped that Shinso was making a good case for himself and also for Kirishima. Kirishima took a deep breath and took the time to try and finally come up with what to say to Kaminari. But nothing really came to mind other than an apology, and all an apology would be was an "I'm sorry" and that wasn't much of a conversation. After a few moments, Shinso walked out of the kitchen and Kaminari leaned on the door frame. Looking frustrated with his arms crossed. Shinso clapped his hands and pointed at Kirishima.

"So, here's what's going to happen," Shinso began. Like he was telling a story, "I'm going to go down to the convenient store. Get some snacks, some drinks and stuff and you two are… just going to do your thing. Okay?"

"Uh-"

"Alright, awesome," Shinso began to walk towards the front door. Trying to leave as quickly as possible, "You want anything specific, Kirishima?"

Kirishima sighed, "You think you could snag me some cigs?"

"I'll do my best but not promises. Love you, Kaminari."

Shinso opened the front door. He didn't even wave goodbye as he left. Kirishima only assumes Shinso was running away from the house before lightning would strike it. Kirishima stared at the door briefly before licking his bottom lip and turning towards Kaminari. He smiled, only to be met with Kaminari turning his face away. Looking so mad really wasn't for him but acting like it was. Kirishima scratched his head.

"Kaminari I-"

"Look. I don't know why you thought it was a good idea to come here but it wasn't and I'm surprised you were able to let Shinso bring you here," Kaminari heavily sighed, he pinched the bridge of his nose and turned towards Kirishima, "I know why you're here but… but you should just wait til I wanted to see you."

Kirishima stood up, "I couldn't," Kirishima stepped forward, "I couldn't just let you ignore me anymore, Kaminari. I-I really missed you… And I know you have to miss me too, right?"

Kaminari bit his bottom lip, he left the kitchen door frame towards Kirishima.

"Sit back down," Kaminari said, now willing to talk. As Kirishima sat down, Kaminari got comfortable on the couch, "So, talk to me."

Kirishima relaxed his shoulders, he put his hand on Kaminari's knee. It felt strange to do so, but it wasn't something that needed to be done.

"Kaminari, I'm sorry for what I said and how I acted while Bakugou was away… I shouldn't have done that."

"_That?" _Kaminari grabbed Kirishima's hand and tossed it off his leg. But his palm stayed on Kirishima's "What is _that _exactly?"

Kirishima raised an eyebrow, "Well, you know. I was acting really sad and stuff. I was pretty depressed then and I know it made you upset and I'm sorry."

Kaminari sighed and shook his head, "You don't get it, Kirishima," Kaminari gave Kirishima a few pity pats on his hand, "I guess you deserve a '_at least you tried'_ for your apology. An apology accepted, I guess." Kaminari stood up and stretched, "I think you should get going."

In any usual conversation like this that wasn't Bakugou, Kirishima would drop it and he would leave or whatever the other person wanted to do. But this time, he didn't feel like turning on his back with his hands and feet in the air. No, the heat in his belly was still there, cooking up his heart and lungs. Kirishima stood up and Grabbed Kaminari's wrist. This was surprising, for the both of them.

"Hey, wait," Kirishima pulled, not sure what he should say next, "I don't… What… What don't I get?"

Kaminari relaxed his shoulders. His lips pierced together, his eyes looked wet, but not wet enough to cry. Just seeing that look of rare persistence in Kirishima's eyes is what got Kaminari, something that he saw so often while Kirishima looked at Bakugou, but never at him. All that weight left his chest.

"Eijiro… It hurt me a lot when you didn't want my help," Kaminari confessed, "You were so sad and… And all you wanted to do was wait for that jerk to come back. He wasn't there to help, he made you feel so awful All I wanted to do was help my friend. It's like you totally forgot about everyone, about me. And I absolutely hated that. That's why I didn't want to talk to you or have anyone else hang out with you. I did it because… Cause if the only person you want so bad is Bakugou, then that's the only person you could have. So that's why I'm mad at you."

Kirishima let go of Kaminari's wrist, "I'm… Kaminari, I didn't… I didn't want to hurt you like that. I didn't know," Kirishima swallowed, "I know sometimes I can overreact and get pretty emotional at times and I never really like to talk about myself that much."

"But why, Kirishima. _Why?_ I'm your friend. I'm supposed to know more about you so I can help you when times are tough."

Kirishima felt like he had heard this before. He had said something similar to Bakugou time and time again. Now, Kirishima was the jerk who wanted to be so distant. The worst part was that he had just now realized this. That he was still that young man who wanted to keep people away at times. That he wanted people to see a thin veil of himself and not the whole apparition. It was time to let it out. Kirishima closed his eyes, and began to spill his guts.

"Kaminari, the reason why I came here to beging with is because I tried to kill myself… And doctors thought I needed a change. So, I guess you can see why it's hard for me to let a lot of people in. … And when Bakugou left, you saw me at one of my lowest points, and I didn't do anything or say anything to prepare you for that. I've never had a relationship with anyone like you before. I've never had a best friend, Kaminari. That wasn't very fair to you, and I'm very sorry for that."

When Kirishima opened his eyes, he saw a sight he never thought he would see. Big red, blotchy cheeks with tears streaming down. Kaminari was hiccuping and gripping the color of his shirt tightly. His chin all crumpled and his nose was all stuffy. Kaminari wrapped his arms around Kirishima's and hugged him tightly. Kirishima could feel the tears and snot fall on his shoulder.

"K-Kiri I-I-I didn't k-know," Kaminari stuttered, "I didn't k-know you f-felt like that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Kirishima felt shocked. He knew bringing up his past would warrant a reaction but, not something like that. He felt like his apology was abysmal compared to Kaminari. He could feel through Kaminari's chest that it was swelling. That such a simple story coming from such a compelling friend would make him turn so easily towards him. It's like this is what Kaminari always needed from Kirishima, a big opening reveal like this. Was this what friendship was like? To feel so much empathy that you forget your own feelings. Maybe that was just Kaminari, who's heart was always going to be bigger than his mind. Kirishima was so lucky to have a friend like that. Kirishima returned the hug, he patted Kaminari's head in comfort.

"Hey, hey. Calm down," Kirishima pulled away and wiped Kaminari's tears away, "You're not supposed to be sad. It's okay, I don't feel like that anymore because I have such a good friend like you. And, and I promise you, I'm going to treat you like how a friend should, okay? So, wipe your face. You got boogers everywhere."

Kaminari sadly chuckled and wiped his eyes, "I really do accept your apology. Kirishima," Kaminari's face started to turn pale again. He gave Kirishima another hug. A much more happier one, "You're going to have to apologize to Shinso though too. There's no way were having sex tonight. You're staying over."

"Shit. He's going to kill me for that."

"I'll talk to him, he can't be mad at you once I tell him what we'll do once you leave tomorrow. I'll text him to get some beers."

Kaminari pulled away and grabbed his phone from his pocket and started the text. The two went back to the couch.

"Are we good?" Kirishima asked.

"For now, yeah. But don't think you can say something like that to tug on my heartstrings again, okay?"

"Okay."

Kaminari grinned at his screen, the smile meant for Kirishima. And such a sweet, loving smile it was.

_So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. See you next update. _


	14. You and Me

**Hello! I hope every one is healthy and safe. This one is a bit of a doozy and I hope I don't disappoint with such a long chapter. I do not own MHA nor the characters used. Enjoy!**

_12.15_

_The other night, me and Bakugou got drunk. It's not very often the both of us get drunk. It takes a lot for Bakugou to get wasted, he's young but he holds his alcohol pretty well and doesn't really drink that often in the first place. It's usually me, red cheeked, stuffy nose, and with my head resting in Bakugou's lap as he finishes a beer while I blather away about things I can't remember saying. But that night, he stole a bottle of wine from his house. He said he wanted to drink, and I said okay. We sipped on it in coffee mugs because I didn't have any wine glasses. We had on music, the soft kind, like you're in a dream. We almost smoked a whole pack of cigarettes as I laughed and told stories while Bakugou kept filling up my mug with more wine. Bakugou plays with his hair the more he drinks, wrapping the little locks around his finger before letting go, then running his hand a few times, it was mesmerizing the drunker I got. _

_After the bottle was half empty, somehow I found myself with my arms loosely wrapped around Bakugou's neck, my mug was empty as I swayed with Bakugou's hands on my waist. We drunkenly slow danced to the music, the station had completely changed because we didn't guide it anywhere. A cigarette hung out his mouth.I asked Bakugou why he wanted to drink so much while my belly hurt. _

_To forget. He said._

_Forget? What's there to remember? I asked_

_My dad and I got in an argument this morning. He said._

_I asked what about?_

_He wants me to… To come home more often. Says I can bring you over but he doesn't want me to be here all the time like I am. He stuttered a few times during this statement. That meant he was hiding a few details from me._

_And here you are. At my house completely wasted. I chuckled. I told him I wouldn't mind going over to his house more often if that would make his father happier._

_That's not the point. He said._

_Then what is?_

_Point is I don't want to be...home. He said._

_I sighed, nuzzled my face against his neck and kissed his skin. I told him I loved him. He said nothing. We drank the rest of the bottle and fell asleep on the couch. Something tells me things are going on in Bakugou's life. And like usual he doesn't want to tell me something._

Kirishima walked in Ms Kayama's office, humming softly as he closed the door. He took off the beanie he was wearing and started to unzip his jacket. He sat his bag on the ground.

"Afternoon, Ms Kayama." He said.

Ms Kayama was sitting down at her desk, smiling. Kirishima saw her wearing a different shade of lipstick and what seemed to be a nice black dress underneath her suit jacket. She wore great big, uncomfortable looking heels as well.

"Good afternoon, Kirishima," Ms Kayama pushed a disposable coffee cup towards him, "I got you a hot chocolate while I was at the coffee shop today. I thought you might need it since it's so cold."

"Thank you," Kirishima hung up his jacket and grabbed the cup, he could already smell the chocolate, "It's just what I needed. It's one hell of a walk to get here sometimes."

Ms Kayama chuckled and got up, moving to her regular chair she would sit at while Kirishima got situated. She grabbed her clipboard and pen, setting it in her lap.

"So, how are you? Good?" Ms Kayama asked.

Kirishima took a sip of his hot chocolate and nodded, "Yeah, good. Things have been very good lately."

"Oh yeah? How so?"

"Well, me and Bakugou's father have gotten closer. We have coffee every so often and I help him with cleaning the house and knew men were so dirty," Kirishima heard Ms Kayama chuck, " Bakugou and I haven't argued in some time. And Kaminari invited me to a kickback he's hosting tonight. And now, I'm the Vice President of the Writing Club."

"That's very good. How's your prescription been treating you?"

"I don't get tired anymore like I used to when I took them. I must be getting used to the dosage by now."

Ms Kayama nodded and was scribbling down whatever therapists write during these kinds of things. But Kirishima wasn't worried about it, because he knew he was doing the right thing. He kicked his feet while the hot chocolate kept his hands and thighs warm. He didn't feel so anxious, and that kind of feeling was nice. Ms Kayama clicked her pen and sat the clipboard on her desk.

"So, now that all of that's taken care of," Ms Kayama folded her fingers, "Do you have anything you want to talk about? Anything that's troubling you at all that I could help you out with?"

Kirishima hummed, "Uh-hmmm. You know, for once, I can't think of anything that's really on my mind."

Ms Kayama laughed, "I guess this'll be a short session today then, eh?"

Ms Kayama felt so proud of herself, Kirishima could see it in her eyes. She believed that she had taken this broken boy and put him right back together, every therapist's dream. But it wasn't just her, she was a small fraction but Kirishima wouldn't tell her that. He would just smile and know the truth. That it was the people around him that brought out all that strength, all that happiness that was deep inside of him. He barely knew the boy who tried to kill himself so long ago.

That young man who over thought about every little thing, causing his hands to shake and his knees to be weak. That boy who barely could speak up because he was afraid of what reaction he would get from other people. But now, he was as strong as ten men, not worried about what others would think because he had turned himself into a "stand-up-guy". What was there to worry about when Kirishima found out that he's a nice guy? That he wants to help and feel empathetic? Who wouldn't like him?

"I'll write another prescription for you to refill and I guess, you can be on your way. Unless you just want to chit-chat."

"That actually sounds kinda nice. I don't want to go back out there yet. It's too cold, I'd rather finish my hot chocolate here."

Ms Kayama grinned as she got up and found her prescription pad, "That's fine by me. Next patient isn't in until an hour from now."

Ms Kayama bent over the table. Kirishima looked down her dress, peaking out was a red lacy brazier. The material looked thin, so he assumed her breasts would be visible if she was topless. Kirishima was thinking about an older woman in her underwear, it seemed juvenile. Kirishima sipped his hot chocolate, then licked his lips.

"You look very nice today, Ms Kayama." Kirishima said.

"Oh! Thank you very much," Ms Kayama ripped the page out of the pad and walked over towards Kirishima and handed him the note. She smoothed out her dress at the hips, "It's not… too much right?"

"Well, I guess that would depend. What's the occasion?"

A light chuckle came from Ms Kayama. Her cheeks became a light pink. Kirishima had never seen a grown woman blush before.

"I um… I have a date tonight after work. We're going to a ritzy restaurant, a really nice place."

"I think you're dressed just fine then," Kirishima smiled, "Oh, that reminds me… Well, don't think this is strange, okay?"

Kirishima sat his drink on the table before getting up to grab his bag. Ms Kayama tilted her head and sat back down in her chair. Kirishima rustled around in his bag before pulling out a small white box with a gold ribbon wrapped around it. He walked over to Ms Kayama and held out the box for her. She raised an eyebrow and took it slowly.

"What's this all about?" Ms Kayama asked.

"It's an early Christmas gift. You got me a birthday one, so I thought it would only make sense to get you a present too," Kirishima explained, "But, I didn't really get it, so I asked my Ma to find you something nice and send it to me. She's a little older than you are but, I think she did a good job."

Ms Kayama pulled off the ribbon and set it to the side. She opened up the box, her eyes lit up. It was a necklace on a long silver chain with a crescent moon pendant that shined in the light. She lifted up her head and looked at Kirishima.

"Eijiro…"

"Don't worry, it wasn't expensive or anything," Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck, "It's alright, right?"

"It's wonderful!" Ms Kayama exclaimed as she took the necklace out of the box. She held it to her chest and kicked her feet, she acted like a happy teenager, "Oh, it'll be perfect for tonight, thank you!"

Ms Kayama put all of her hair over one shoulder and clipped the necklace around her neck. It hung low around her chest. Kirishima smiled softly, it felt good to make someone feel so happy.

"It looks very nice. It's silver so it won't turn your neck green or anything."

Ms Kayama stood up and leaned down to give Kirishima a hug. Her arms tight around his back as his cheek was against her squishy breasts. Kirishima patted her back, signaling for her to let go and she did. She looked at Kirishima with shining eyes, like diamonds. She was so proud of him. Kirishima would never do anything like this before, too nervous of making a wrong impression. She teased Kirishima's hair.

"I'll have to think of something to get you for Christmas now. I'll have to outdo you." Ms Kayama winked.

"No, no, you don't have to," Kirishima waved his hands, "You already got me a birthday gift, I don't need another one for you. Thanks anyway."

Ms Kayama hummed, "Nah, I'll do it anyway," Ms Kayama stood up straight and put her hands on her hips, "Tell your mom she did a good job picking out the necklace."

"I will," Kirishima picked up his hot chocolate. It was starting to become lukewarm, "So… this date of yours… tall, dark, and handsome?"

Ms Kayama chuckled, "I sure hope so. It's a blind date my friend set up."

Kirishima and Ms Kayama kept having a conversation until Kirishima's hot chocolate was cold and finished. It was nice, to for once feel like they were talking to each other and not try to sort through one another's minds.

Kirishima let himself into Kaminari's house. The lights were dim, Kaminari did this thing where he'd change the light bulbs with blue and purple ones. It would help everyone's eyes the more wasted and high they got. Kirishima took off his shoes while a band he didn't know was slowly singing. It must have been Jiro's doing, she would often play music no one knew. The house smelt like a burnt skunk as he took off his shoes. He saw Jiro sitting next to Yaoyorozu, enjoying a glass of wine as Mina sat on the arm rest. Sero was on the ground, sitting next to Tokoyami. They were playing _Mario Kart 64. _Sero really liked retro games at parties, and Tokoyami loved winning them, but his face never really showed it. He was the strong silent type. Never really going out with many people, he would rarely be at a party, only at times like this where it was a small hang out with friends. He had black hair, black clothes, black nails: slender frame, slant black eyes. He was good looking, but he never cared too much about that.

Mina spotted Kirishima and gasped.

"Guys! Kirishima is here!" She yelled as she hopped off the rest and walked over to Kirishima. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, "You always take too long to get anywhere."

"Son of a bitch!" Sero exclaimed as he threw the controller to the ground. Tokoyami passed the joint to him.

"Rematch?" Tokoyami asked.

"Screw that… I'm sick and tired of you winning all the damn time. I wanna play against Yaoyorozu."

"You just want to win against someone you know you can beat."

"Hey, don't say that about Yaoyorozu." Jiro interrupted with her phone in her hand, looking for another song to play.

"Oh my." Yaoyorozu said with her lips on her wine glass.

"Guys, hello? Kiri is here." Mina reminded.

"Hey guys." Kirishima waved.

Sero threw up his hand, "Oi, Kirishima! What's going on. You wanna play a round with me?"

"Hey, I still wanted to play." Tokoyami said.

"Nah, I'm good for right now. I may play a little later with you guys though," Kirishima looked at Mina. Her arms still around his neck and his hands on her waist, "Where's Kaminari And Shinso at?"

"Oh, in the kitchen I'm pretty sure. Hey! They were supposed to get us snacks. They've been in there so long and I was watching Sero and Tokoyami play their game I totally forgot- ugh, now I'm so hungry."

Kirishima pulled away, "What did you want?"

"Peanut butter crackers." Mina groaned.

Kirishima chuckled and patted her head, "Well, if they didn't grab it for you, I'll get it for you."

"Nice!" Mina grinned, "Oh, get yourself a drink in there too. Tokoyami made the mix and it's bomb."

"I'll get myself a glass then."

"Oh!" Mina reached across the two girls on the couch and grabbed a cup, "Fill up mine too please!"

"Sure, no problem."

Kirishima took the cup and moved across the room, trying not to block the television as the next round started. He walked into the kitchen. He saw the punch bowl on the kitchen table next to a few bags of assorted chips and a box of peanut butter crackers. He stepped through the door frame, now noticing Kaminari on the counter by the cupboards. His legs wrapped around Shinso's back and his arms draped around his shoulders as he held a solo cup. They were kissing, and it looked like they were doing it for quite sometime now. Their cheeks looked so warm, their hands must have been sweaty by now. Kirishima shifted his eyes a few times, hoping they would figure out someone was in the room with them. He put his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat. Shinso moved his hand up Kaminari's thigh, so Kirishima threw Mina's plastic cup on the tile, it made a louder noise and caused the two to jump.

"Kiri!" Kaminari exclaimed, shoving Shinso off of him and hopping off the counter. He gave Kirishima a great big hug. He smelt of alcohol, "Ugh, you're always late."

"Hey-yeah, I know, I know," Kirishima rubbed Kaminari's back, "Hey, Shinso"

"Yo." Shinso sighed and scratched the back of his neck.

Kirishima smiled and pulled away slightly from a grinning Kaminari. He was so funny drunk, such a lightweight. Always clinging to someone and always smiling. That little ray of sunshine.

"You two were having a fun time, huh?" Kirishima said.

Kaminari hummed, "Yeah, they should have never asked us to get snacks- oh shit! The snacks, Shinso, take those to the living room," Kaminari pointed, "Mina is sooooo hungry."

"Yeah, yeah," Shinso walked over to the table and picked up the items on the table. He walked over to Kirishima and leaned in towards his ear, "Kaminari was only supposed to be getting food. Not the both of us."

Shinso walked out of the kitchen, and Kirishima hoped he wasn't mad at him for interrupting such an intimate moment. It was always so hard to tell. But Kirishima wasn't going to worry about it too much. He patted Kaminari's back, telling him to pull away.

"You want something to drink? Your cup looks empty."

"Oh! Yeah, that would be good. Thanks."

Kirishima took the cup and went over to the punch bowl. He lifted the spoon out of the bowl and filled up the cup, seeing little fruits as he poured. Kaminari hopped back up on the counter before Kirishima passed him his cup.

"Where's Bakugou at?" Kaminari asked.

"I told you he couldn't make it tonight, remember?"

Kaminari chuckled as he swirled his drink, "Oh yeah. I totally forgot. Why was that again?"

"He's just… spending time with his dad I suppose. I didn't really ask, he has his reasons."

"Ooo, how big of you," Kaminari meant that in a sincere way but it just didn't come out like that, "You need some quality time with the boys anyway."

"Kaminari, the girls are here too. Like, a good amount."

"Well duh! But they're part of _the boys,_ you know?"

Kirishima chuckled and filled up his own empty cup. He took a sip, it was a mix of black cherries and vodka. It was delicious as alcohol could be.

"Yeah, I know," Kirishima leaned back on the table, "Hop down from there. Come next to me."

Kaminari got off the counter. He swayed towards Kirishima and stood next to him. He put his arm over Kaminari's shoulder. Kirishima could tell the contact made a drunk Kaminari happy.

"You know you're my best friend, right?" Kirishima asked.

Kaminari blew a raspberry, "Well of course I know that. You're my best friend too, Kiri." Kaminari pulled himself against Kirishima's side and wrapped his arms around his waist. Kirishima took a sip of his drink before setting it behind him.

"I love you, you know?" Kirishima whispered.

Kaminari smiled sweetly and squeezed Kirishima's side, "Awww, Kirishima! I love you too buddy! Where did that come from?"

"I don't know…" Kirishima was surprised with how fast Kaminari responded, "I guess I'm feeling a little sentimental tonight. I just wanted to open up a little."

Kaminari hummed and nuzzled his head against Kirishima's chest, "You're a big sweetie," Kaminari patted Kirishima's chest and pulled away. He grabbed his own drink and began to stumble away, "We better get outta here before Shinso thinks we're making out or something."

Kirishima chuckled, "Yeah, I'll be out in a second."

"Whatever," Kaminari sang as he walked out, "Shinso, did you get us a spot on the couch?!"

"The lesbians are on it, they're too tough." Kirishima heard Shinso respond back.

"Whoa, Ojiro when did you get here?! Gimme a hug!"

Kirishima ran his fingers through his hair as he began to block out the noise. He dug his hand in his pocket and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his phone until he reached Bakugou's contact. He gave it to him after Bakugou returned home. He began to type out a message.

_Having a good night in?_ He sent.

He kept his lips on the rim of the cup, taking a few sips here and there until he saw three little dots in a bubble.

_Good isn't the word. I'm bored, I guess. How's your night out?_

_So far so good. I'm having a drink in the kitchen.I miss you though. _

_Tell that to the old man then. _

_You aren't going to say you miss me back?_

It took awhile for Bakugou to message back, but that wasn't abbnormal.

_I do miss ya, shitty hair._

Kirishima smiled.

_I love you _

_Get back to your party. I'm sure dummy is going to be yelling for you any minute now. _

"Kiri get in here! Mina wants to play _Mario Kart _with you!" Kaminari shouted.

"I'm gonna kick your butt!"

"She said she's gonna kick your butt!"

"And bring in my drink!"

"Bring in her drink!"

"I heard her, Kaminari," Kirishima replied and put his phone back in his pocket. He grabbed Mina's cup and started to leave the kitchen, "I want to play as Bowser."

He went into the living room, surrounded by friends who would easily say back to him, _I love you too. _So why was it, at this most stable part in Kirishima's time being here, why wouldn't Bakugou say it back?

The kickback had been going on now for two hours, so at this point everyone had settled in. Subdued in alcohol and numerous joints had been passed, smoked, and rolled again and again. The gang was watching a movie now, snuggled up together to fit the most amount of people on the couch. Jiro, Yaoyorozu, Sero, Tokoyami, and Ojiro were able to huddle on the couch together. Mina and Kirishima sat on the ground, blanket around their shoulders. Mina was fast asleep and Kirishima on his phone..By this time, Kaminari and Shinso felt guilt free being a host and leaving to go to his room. The two of them did this often when either one of them hosted a party… and when they went to them.

It must have just been the energy a party gave off, the liquor, the music, the connection with friends, it flowed into Kaminari like a bolt of lighting. And that flash would go into Shinso the long Kaminari clung on to him. It could keep him going for days. For Shinso, Kaminari was like two shots of espresso and a smack in the mouth. That's what he loved the most about him.

They had been making out on the bed for sometime, kissing was probably their favorite thing to do, just like how Kirishima and Bakugou loved to hold hands. Their lips smacked together as Kaminari was on top of Shinso, running his fingers through his hair.

"Oo, I think I felt a tangle." Kaminari muttered, "Did you get some sleep last night?"

"Not much. Just a quick three hour nap."

"That's better than nothing, eh?"

Shinso licked Kaminari's bottom lip before going in and kissing him again. Shinso placed a hand on the back of Kaminari's neck before kissing his jaw, he let out a moan as he lifted his head back. Kaminari spread his legs slightly for Shinso's knee to come through and rub up against his crotch. Kaminari loved situations like this, and Shinso knew it too. That's why his knee rubbed up against Kaminari, and why his tongue licked down to his neck.

"Hitoshi?" Kaminari muttered as he pulled on Shinso's shirt.

"Denki." How could he sound so serious? It made Kaminari chuckle.

"Do you love me?"

"I love you more than anything, you know that baby." Shinso's hands started to sneak around to his back and then to Kaminari's ass.

"I know."

"Then where did that come from?"

"My mind," Kaminari said and kissed Shinso's nose, "Now get that shirt off. I wanna see your muscles."

"You have bigger muscles than I do," Shinso poked Kaminari's stomach, "Guess that means you should take off your shirt too."

"Heh, guess so."

Kaminari sat up on Shinso's hips and took off his shirt. Kaminari began to roll up Shinso's shirt, Shinso raised up his arms as Kaminari pulled off his shirt. His hands scanned Shinso's pale skin, going over his chest to his ribs. Soon feeling the creases of his abs to the shape of his hip bones. Kaminari smirked and licked his lips, looking at Shinso like he was something to eat. Shinso put one arm behind his head and looked up and down Kaminari's body.

"Come closer, I have to get my hands on that body of yours."

Kaminari squealed and scooted closer to Shinso, he sat up and placed his hand on Kaminari's lower back. Kaminari instantly wrapped his arms around Shinso's neck while Shinso started to work Kaminari's body. He started by kissing his shoulder, then biting as his hand wandered down Kaminari's spine. His lips moved to Kaminari's pecs, giving little kisses before circling around to Kaminari's nipple. He flicked his tongue over the tender skin, his warm mouth causing Kaminari to moan. Shinso licked his lips around Kaminari's nipple and began to suck harshly as his hands dipped into Kaminari's jeans, squeezing his ass gently. Kaminari pressed his chest up against Shinso's mouth, burying his nose in Shinso's hair as he pleasurably hummed.

"Mmm, you treat me too good."

"Like I said, anything for you," Shinso muttered before lightly biting down on Kaminari's nipple, "I love you."

"Hmm, I love you too," Kaminari said, lowering his hand to Shinso's crotch. Already feeling how tense he was through his jeans, "Lemme give you some lovin' baby."

Kaminari smiled as he started to slump down onto his knees. He popped off Shinso's pants button and started to tug them down. Shinso started to relax and ran his fingers through Kaminari's bangs to get a nice look at his face. Kaminari stared up at Shinso from between his legs, he batted his eyelashes.

"Do I look pretty from down here?"

"Drop dead gorgeous."

Kaminari giggled, he sneaked his hand over Shinso's crotch and began to rub, making his cock swell up and get harder. Shinso breathed out and tipped his head back, he felt Kaminari's knuckles on his stomach as he slowly started to lower Shinso's boxers.

Kirishima slammed open the door, "Kaminari, Shinso, I need your help-oh Jesus!" Kirishima shouted.

"Kirishima!" Kaminari exclaimed and got off of Shinso. Picking up his shirt and holding it close to his chest, blushing brightly.

"What the fuck," Shinso growled as he fumbled to pull up his pants and button them, "We're a little busy here."

"I-I'm sorry," Kirishima turned his head, briefly once he knew that they were unclothed from the waist up, "Shinso, you brought your parents' car with you tonight right?"

"Yeah, I did. Now get out, thanks."

"Shinso, don't be so mean," Kaminari said and put his hand on Shinso's shoulder, "Kirishima, what do you need?"

"I… I need a ride."

"A _ride. _Ask someone else, I wasn't the only one who drove here." Shinso said and put his shirt back on.

"No ones sober enough and I don't want them to know what's going on and- and I really need to go right now," Kirishima looked over at Kaminari, "Please… it's Bakugou. His dad called me and told me I needed to go to the hospital."

"The hospital, oh no," Kaminari said, sympathy dripping from his voice, he put on his shirt, "Shinso will give you a ride."

"I will?"

"Yes, Shinso, _you _will," Kaminari enforced, "Let me get a jacket and we'll get going. What's the address?"

"Bakugou's dad texted it to me, I can give directions," Kirishima looked at Shinso, "Thank you."

Shinso rolled his eyes and got up, "Yeah, don't mention it," Shinso mumbled, "What are we going to tell everyone else?"

"I trust them, they'll probably just fall asleep or something. We'll just say we're taking Kirishima home. I'm not really worried about them." Kaminari said and zipped up his hoodie. He walked over towards Kirishima and patted his back.

"Come on, let's get going."

"Right."

"I need to get my keys, you dummies."

They later left the room. Shinso got his keys. A very sleepy Mina asked where they were going. They told her the story Kaminari came up with, she and everyone else who was still up believed it and started another movie to watch. The boys got into the car. Kirishima texted Kaminari the directions on the phone as he sat in the back. He sent a message to Bakugou, saying he would be there as soon as possible. Kirishima stayed calm in the car. Hoping it was one of these little emergencies Bakugou's mother had faced frequently. Bakugou never responded. He never even read the message.

The hospital ride was quick, and quiet. It was strange, Kaminari asked if they should go along with him but Kirishima said no. He would be fine. But of course, he wouldn't be fine. He had never done anything close to this before with Bakugou. But this must have meant growth if Bakugou's father asked him to come to the hospital for once. Or maybe it meant something worse. But Kirishima walked inside, you could tell it was late by how quiet the hospital was. Hearing little nurse shoes walking on the tile, the small number of people in the waiting area. Yes, it was quite late. Kirishima walked to the front desk and cleared his voice.

"Um, hello?" Kirishima said to the older woman at the front desk.

"Hi, What can I help you with tonight, young man?"

"I was asked by Bakugou Masaru to come here?"

"Oh yes, yes, Mr. Bakugou said you'd be showing up soon when he left. His son should be there," The woman pulled out a clipboard, "Here, fill this out. The room is…. On the third floor, room number 370. Oh, jeez."

"Something wrong?"

"O-oh, nothing young man it just, that's quite a walk." She wasn't telling the truth.

"Thank you ma'am."

"No problem."

Kirishima filled out the form. Giving his name, writing the date, putting what room number he'd be visiting and then went off. He walked to the elevator and pressed the third button. Hearing the mechanical noises the elevator hummed as it went up. Kirishima kept fidgeting. His feet going side to side and hands overlapping one another constantly until the elevator dinged and opened its doors. Kirishima walked down the semi-empty halls. A few nurses doing their rounds, nodding their heads at Kirishima as a greeting. Kirishima would shyly wave. The air smelt sterile.

Kirishima soon found the room, staring down the doorknob like he was taking deadly aim. He swallowed and knocked on the door. No response. He raised an eyebrow and then knocked again.

"Jesus, I thought you were leavin' old man," Bakugou opened up the door and looked surprised. His eyes wide, puffy and pink and mouth slightly gapped, "What the fuck are you doin' here?"

Kirishima stepped back slightly, "Your dad called me and told me I should come here as soon as possible," Kirishima said, "I-um- I texted you about it."

"That stupid, stupid old man." Bakugou grumbled, "Leave."

Bakugou was about to close the door but Kirishima shoves his foot in the way. Looking at Bakugou through the crack, "I just got here. I was invited."

"And now I'm telling you to get out of here. So. Go." Bakugou growled.

"Your dad told me I need to be here so I'm here. Now let me in."

"This doesn't involve you."

"Yes it does!" Kirishima exclaimed, "You can't just keep doing this. I know too much about you now. I know it's about your mom and I'm here to-"

"Help?"

Bakugou rolled his tongue in his mouth. Anger just boiling up inside of him. He was going to do something terrible, and he wasn't going to care what happened.

"Here, come in and see what you can help with."

Bakugou grabbed Kirishima's wrist, tightly and rough.

"Bakugou-"

Kirishima was anticipating the worst. He was imagining ventilators, loud monitors beeping frequently, IV drips at work. Seeing a family overwhelmed with emotions and a woman too weak to move her head. He wanted to act as a rock once he was there with his new-found strength. He didn't want to be surprised once he got in that room but, he couldn't anticipate what he would actually see once he was there.

The room was completely empty, the hospital bed was made with a fresh pillow and blue sheets. There wasn't even a cup of water on a tray, the room was silent, nothing was going off or brightening the room with a mechanical light. No horrible chart on the end of the bed. But a couch that was full of blankets. They had been staying here, but it looked like no one was here for them to visit. Kirishima was confused, his eyes narrowed as he turned to look at Bakugou.

"Bakugou, what is this?" Kirishima asked.

"She died," Bakugou said coldly, "About an hour ago."

"What?"

"_Died. _She's dead. I was goin' to stay here for the night. That stupid old man," Bakugou clicked his tongue, "It was a mistake for you to come here. You should leave."

"I can't leave you, not now. There's no way," Kirishima walked over towards Bakugou, his hand moving to Bakugou's cheek, "Bakugou, I'm so sorry."

Bakugou batted his hand away, "I don't need you feelin' sorry for me. If you want to make me feel better you'll leave me alone."

"Come on, don't do this tough guy, stubborn asshole act now. Your mother-"

"I know what happened, you just got here. I don't need you to be here," Bakugou raised his voice. He turned his back towards Kirishima, "I just want to be alone."

"Bakugou you… you can't mean that, not now," Kirishima chuckled out of how ridiculous Bakugou sounded, "I'm just here for you. I'm your boyfriend, I-I want you to feel better, not be angry or upset. Bakugou, I love you."

"Stop saying that!" Bakugou faced Kirishima and charged towards him. Grabbing his wrists, "Stop saying you love me. And- and stop hoping I'm going to say it back to you."

Well. This conversation took a turn. And why wouldn't it? A boy had lost his mother and would rather talk about anything else other than that thought. Bakugou pushed Kirishima against the wall. He gripped his wrists tight, causing Kirishima to seeth.

"Bakugou, stop, you're hurting me." Kirishima breathed out.

"When have you cared about that? I hurt you all the fuckin' time and you won't leave me alone," Bakugou grunted, "I don't know why you do this to yourself."

"Bakugou, this isn't something we need to talk about."

"Says you. You always are askin' me dumb questions and for once I'm going to do it," Bakugou bit his lip, "Maybe you like to get hurt. Maybe you want to stay damaged… or maybe you want someone you think is more screwed up than you to help."

"Where is this coming from, Bakugou, I-I don't like it."

That must be what it is. You like me actin' like a dick so you can _help _me. You're shit at it.

"Bakugou, knock it off. This isn't-"

"Guess what," Bakugou leaned in close to Kirishima's face, "I don't need you. I never needed you, you were something to do. I only wanted you… and now I don't."

Bakugou let go of Kirishima's wrists. Bakugou punched the wall by Kirishima's head before pulling away. Kirishima felt paralyzed, but not sure with what. If it was fear, sadness, anger, or confusion but he knew something had struck him. As Bakugou walked away from Kirishima, he began to sink down to the ground. Kirishima's bottom lip trembled, he hugged himself as he saw Bakugou standing above him. Looking down with his lips tight and arms crossed like he had just crushed a bug. He stood his ground, not showing a bit of weakness, that there were no cracks in his skin.

"Go." Bakugou said.

Kirishima rubbed his watering eyes and quickly got up from the ground. He walked over to the door, Bakugou was watching him like a hawk. But Kirishima couldn't let this go easily, just like always with Bakugou. And now, more than ever he would try to conversate.

"That's not true… what you said?"

"You were somethin' to do. You were a new person at school who knew nothin' about me. I wanted it to stay that way… But you ruined everything."

Kirishima bit his lip. He turned around, his hands on the door behind him, "You love me… I know you do. You're just upset right now."

"You don't know what I am. You never have. I let you in when it needed to happen. You should have never liked me in the first place and that's your fault."

Kirishima mustered up the courage to walk towards him, he placed his hands on Bakugou's cheeks. Tears were streaming down Kirishima's face as his hands shook. Bakugou's face was like a stone.

"I can't believe that everything we've done together, everything we've said to each other, that all of it meant nothing to you? You kissing me at that party, coming back to me when you left, inviting me to your house… You wanting a relationship with me. All of that was just because I was simply something to do?" Kirishima was trembling, his thumb grazed Bakugou's skin. He was looking for a tell. That everything he was saying was false. But there was none, "If you don't love me… I-if you can honestly say I meant nothing to you then I'll leave. I won't call you. I won't even look your way in class if you can truly and honestly say you don't love me."

Bakugou didn't take a deep breath. His nostrils didn't flare, his eyes didn't twitch. He looked Kirishima in the eyes, they were so icey. Like nothing was behind them. Bakugou had turned back into that intimidating boy Kirishima had first met. The one that wouldn't talk, who had such a tough exterior. Bakugou had reverted.

"I don't love you."

"Katsuki…"

"I don't love you."

Kirishima dropped his hands to his side. His tears fell from his chin. His face looked like a mess. He felt destroyed from the inside-out in such a short time. He turned around and opened up the door. Feeling so lonely, he entered the hallway and closed the door. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and began to walk to the elevator slowly. He wanted Bakugou to rush out of that room and go to him. He wanted Bakugou to wrap his arms around him and cry with him. He wanted Bakugou so badly to talk about what he was feeling since his mother had died. That the outburst wasn't real. Bakugou would invite him back into the room and they would hold each other for the rest of the night on that couch. But soon, Kirishima faced the steel elevator, and there was no Bakugou coming to him. And that was the ugliest truth he had ever faced.

_So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. See you next update._


	15. What to do With You

**Hey guys! Hope you're doing alright. I'm very glad to see the reviews and new followers for the story. It helps me out a lot so if you're liking the story, leave a review and a follow. I do not own MHA nor character used. Enjoy.**

_1.4_

_I threw away most of his things which wasn't much to begin with. Kaminari said that would help me. I threw away his pipe, the notebook he left, half a pack of cigarettes, stuff like that. But his clothes are what I'm having a hard time getting rid of. I know that those should probably be the first things to go but… they smell so much like him. That sweet-nasty smell he always had that was so distinct. I tried throwing away one of his shirts last night. I had my garbage bag already to go, but I buried my nose in it and all I smelt was him. The mixture of cigarettes and syrup… but also me. I smell of strong oak wood, of nature. I smell that shirt and it brings me back. It brings me back to hearing the nervousness in his voice when he first kissed me. I think of the time he held my hand, rubbed my knuckles as we studied. Or the time he blushed so brightly when he admitted his favorite movie… we never watched it together… I think about the cigarettes we shared. One time, he took a drag, told me to lean in and open my mouth, and he blew the smoke into my mouth. It was poetic to me._

_All of this came from the same guy who said he didn't love me. But if actions spoke louder than words then why does this hurt so bad? I can't miss him now because I know that he doesn't miss me because he told me he doesn't love me. _

_I wish I could ask him so many questions… now I admit to myself that some questions I asked were dumb and that I should have saved them for this moment. I wish I could ask him if he's okay. That's all I really want to know if he's alright. Christmas break ends tomorrow and I already know that he won't show up for class. I need to ask Mr Aizawa if I can change seats. I hope he asks me why, so I can tell him. Maybe so another person can understand with me then. That shirt is in my dresser drawer._

Kirishima was handling this much better than he thought he ever would. Of course, this hurt more than anything else but, he was doing a good job with distracting himself from the pain in a healthy way for once. He started by going to the Writing Club. What actually happened was Shinso canceled the meeting, and the two boys went to the school roof instead. When asked why Shinso canceled, he said:

"I'm just not in the mood to be dissapointed today."

Shinso lit the cigarette in his mouth and took a drag. Something he wasn't used to but acted as if he was a half a pack smoker like what Kirishima had turned into. Kirishima tapped the ash off of his cigarette.

"Maybe you should join another club," Kirishima suggested, "I think you'd do well in the academic club. Or maybe track, you have long legs."

"No. No, I'd rather have been a founder of a failing club and it's president rather than join another club."

Kirishima chuckled, shaking his head before taking another drag, "You're so prideful," Kirishima sighed, "All you ever do is complain about that fucking club."

"Thank you, Vice President."

There was something in his eyes today. Shinso seemed to stare far. They looked so sensitive. Maybe the smoke was making them so delicate.

"Shinso… can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Why do you waste your time with that club? I mean, really. No one in that club ever does what you want them to do, they stay quiet and up and leave whenever they want. Come on, have you ever had a successful club meeting before I came here?"

Ouch, that hurt. Kirishima did his best to word his question in the least painful way possible but it still came out bad. Rough around the edges and such. But Shinso kept his face as straight as an arrow.

"No. I haven't. It's always been small and… I think it's always going to be small. I've never been one for promotion."

"I'm willing to help you, you know? I think maybe if we put up some flyers around school and make some announcements then-"

"No thanks. We're on the list of available clubs. If someone wants to come, they're welcome to it."

"But that's the point, Shinso. No new people come. It's always the same people and they don't even show up every time. You can't just hope that one day the club will be full and they'll write something you wrote on the board. You have to do something."

Shinso rubbed his eye and sighed. He covered his chin with his hand and shook his head. It was already starting to get dark out, Shinso hated that. When days became so short and nights seemed to go on for so much longer than they should.

"I guess I'm trying a new strategy," Shinso stood up from the concrete ground and walked closer towards the edge of the building. Kirishima raised an eyebrow but stayed seated, "To get anything I ever wanted in life, I had to work harder than anyone else. And even then, I still wouldn't truly get what I want. Maybe not giving a crap will help."

"But that's not working either."

"Yeah, both strategies are bad. No matter what I do. I bet if we put up those flyers or whatever no one would show up still. Guess my self esteem is pretty low."

Kirishima shook his head, a breeze blew by. He ran his fingers through his hair.

"What to do with you." Kirishima muttered

"Just deal with me I guess. But enough about me and the club already," Shinso licked his lips and turned to face Kirishima, "How's it going? With the whole Bakugou thing or whatever?"

"Well you know, Bakugou is just being…" Kirishima trailed.

"Bakugou?"

Kirishima snickered and brought his knees into his chest, "Yeah just Bakugou. But I'm doing okay."

Shinso breathed out his nose and stubbed out his cigarette and flicked it off the building, "You're such a shit liar when you need to be."

Kirishima tilted his head as Shinso held his hand out and curled it a few times. Asking Kirishima for another cigarette. Chain smoking, Shinso must have felt heavy too. Kirishima handed him the pack and a lighter.

"What do you mean? I'm fine, I mean, you've definitely seen me when I'm not alright at all."

"Yeah, I have. But when he left, you were sad because of Bakugou," Shinso put the cigarette in his mouth and lit the end as he inhaled a few times. He looked like a cowboy, "And now, you've broken up with him and you expect me to believe you're doing just fine? You must think I'm an idiot if you could say that."

Kirishima sighed. He must have thought he was an idiot himself if he was just going to say he was fine. Shinso was so good at dragging out this truth in people. Maybe it was his voice and how he could pull a conversation out of you. The look in his eye always seeing past someone like he had some gift. Kirishima put his thumb on his lip, dragging the skin of his mouth to the side.

"I guess _fine _wouldn't be the word then." Kirishima muttered.

"Then how would you say you feel?"

"Heartbroken."

"Yeah, that's way different than fine," Shinso stood up and walked closer to the edge of the building, "So what are you doing with this heartbreak?"

"Jesus Christ, I don't know, I guess I'm slowly spiraling, is that what you want me to say?"  
"If that's true, yes."

"What are we doing here, really, Shinso?" Kirishima asked, avoiding any more questions that would come his way, "Why are we smoking on this roof instead of a club meeting right now?"

"I thought I told you why already."

"You did… but that's not true either, is it?"

Shinso chewed the inside of his cheek. It was easy to tell he was getting frustrated, if there was an emotion that none of us could hide, it was anger. His hands curled up into fists. He stood up and dropped the cigarette, crushing it with his foot on the ground. His hands were in his pockets as he walked towards the edge.

"This is what you do, huh? To get your way? You turn questions on the other person just so you don't have to answer them. God, you're smarter than you look," he despised Kirishima for that, in the moment anyway, "But you can't talk about how you feel about breaking up with some… some asshole jerk? That's unbelievable."

As Shinso kept speaking, Kirishima's mouth became dry. His jaw all tensed up and eyes narrowed as Shinso like a knife to the throat. He talks like he was writing a paragraph, and the word on the board was _annoyance._

"I mean, the guy told you he used you, all for a distraction as his mother died. He never loved you, he never even liked you and all I want to do is be a friend and let you talk about that. But no, you'd rather ask me why the fuck I don't want to go to Writing Club all so you can be silent and defend the jerk who you meant nothing to him."

Shinso closed his eyes, which wasn't the brightest thing to do on a roof. Kirishima got up, slowly inching towards Shinso, he put his hand on Shinso's shoulder and jerked it quickly so Shinso would face him and punched him in the nose. Shinso fell to the left of the roof from the wind of the punch. He held his nose as he sat up on the ground. His face stung as he groaned, Kirishima got on Shinso's hips and raised his fist again to go for another blow, this time getting his right cheek.

"You don't know anything, Shinso!" Kirishima yelled, grabbing Shinso's collar, "He wasn't always like that m, not to me. He did love me, I know he did, he probably loved me more than anyone else in the whole- goddamn- world so don't try to tell me to show any ill-will towards him."

Kirishima raised his fist again, but Shinso was quick to react this time. He punched under Kirishima's jaw, making him bite his lip, before pushing on his chest and causing Kirishima to land on the ground. A loud thud was made as Kirishima fell, Shinso pinned his arms to the ground. His nose was bleeding, his breathing was heavy.

"You should hate him for what he did to you… because he doesn't feel bad at all about hurting you, Kirishima," Shinso breathed, "Why can't you admit it? Why is it so hard for you to say anything about Bakugou?"

"Because I love him, alright!? Don't you get it?!" Kirishima growled as he struggled under Shinso, "I love him, I know him better than any of you have in these months I've been here and I know…" his eyes started to water. He clenched then tightly, "I know he loves me back. I know that he's going to say sorry, and come back and-and all this pain will be o-over."

Shinso let up a little bit as Kirishima started to cry. He wiped his nose with his sleeve, smearing blood on his cheek. Shinso got off of him and sat to the side as Kirishima laid on the ground and sobbed. He was in the first stage of grief, and that was denial. He had just shown the second stage with Shinso, and that was anger. Kirishima rolled on his side as he hiccuped and wiped his eyes, his uniform was dirty. Shinso patted Kirishima's head. If he wanted to act like a friend, he still would do this after an emotional assault. Because really, who was hurting more in this situation?

"I'm… I'm sorry… about what I said back there," Shinso muttered, "It wasn't my intention to make you so upset."

Kirishima continued to sob. But now, he was clinging to Shinso's pants leg while he stroked his head. Shinso sighed softly as he watched the sky turn orange and purple so soon.

"The reason why I canceled today was because I didn't want to be a failure," Shinso tangled his fingers in Kirishima's hair, Kirishima cried quieter now, "I didn't want to walk into that classroom, see no one there and know that once again, I've failed."

Kirishima sat up, looking at Shinso with great big waterfalls in his eyes. His jaw was starting to bruise up already. His bottom lip was bleeding. Kirishima wiped his nose and then buried his head in Shinso's chest. Clinging to his wrinkled shirt as he cried. Shinso gave him a hug and rubbed his back.

"I know I should give up… but it's hard." Kirishima muttered.

"I know it is," Shinso said, "It's going to be alright."

"How do you know?"

"Things just work themselves out. Maybe not the way we want it to, but they do."

"Kaminari is going to be mad at me for punching you."

"I'll tell him it was my fault. He'll be more upset that I actually punched you back."

"Do you… do you think I could actually hang out with you guys?" Kirishima asked.

"Thought you never were going to ask. We're going out tonight. A whole big group of us are going to a bar. We already got you a fake ID."

"You guys are too good to me."

At the club, Kaminari and Kirishima sat themselves at the bar for the night. Kaminari was in the mood to drink and not dance. And Kirishima was in the mood to stay with company he knew would be best. Everyone was in pairs it seemed. Sero and Mina danced closely, hips rubbing against one another, Shinso and Tokoyami sitting in a booth, smoking and talking about how awful the choice in music was, and Jiro and Yaoyorozu kissing for the first time in the bathroom as a few examples. Kaminari enjoyed a hard lemonade in a short glass, and Kirishima chose to have a glass of white wine. It tasted just as awful as red but that made him think of home. This was their second drink. For some reason, he got a third when his glass wasn't even half empty.

"From the young blonde man across the bar." The bartender said before leaving and turning back to his job.

Kirishima stared at the glass, Kaminari bit his bottom lip and slapped Kirishima's thigh. His cheeks were becoming a rose color, and so was Kirishima's from the drink.

"Hey hey! Look at that," Kaminari said, "You got yourself a drink, handsome!"

"Yeah… Weird."

Kaminari looked over Kirishima's shoulder to see the person who bought Kirishima another glass of wine. He whistled, it seemed like a good one and not one of those weary ones that meant bad news.

"Aren't you going to take a look at him? He's kind of hot." Kaminari said.

Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck, "Probably not. I don't think it's really a good idea."

"Is it a bad one? Just take a look," Kaminari kept obnoxiously and obviously looking at the man, "He bought you a drink, you can at least look at the guy."

"Kaminari-"

"You should do it before he takes it back."

Kirishima rolled his eyes, he spun around in the bar stool and looked over. He was rather tall, he had the body of a grown man, that was forsure. Messy blonde hair, dark, more of a honey color than pale. He wore joggers and a hoodie, and with a glass in his hand, he raised it and smiled over at Kirishima. Kirishima hesitated to smile back, but he lifted up his glass and turned back. The man's hands looked so big, Kirishima wondered how he could be alone. And why he would buy someone like him a drink. Kirishima turned away and sighed.

"Happy?" Kirishima asked.

Kaminari hummed, "Mmm, no, not really. Not until you go over and say 'thank you' to him."

"Excuse me?"

"Get the wax outta your ears, Kiri," Kaminari wiggled his finger in Kirishima's ear before Kirishima batted his hand away, "I think you should go and talk to him."

"Kaminari, what are you thinking? Did someone spike your drink with something?"

"Come on, he looks friendly. He might be interesting. And a guy just doesn't buy you a drink for fun you know? Like I said, he's cute too-"

"I'm not looking for a rebound," Kirishima quickly said, "Talking to him would be a bad idea."

"Kiri," Kamianri said this as seriously as he could. He grabbed Kirishima's hand, "You just got out of a relationship. I think that this is a chance for you to talk to other people. Not in a 'I want to fuck you' kind of way but just… Personally, you know? You never really got to do that when you were with Bakugou. I think this is a time to be open, and openness starts with a simple thank you."

"And that openness begins with a grown man?"

Kaminari chuckled. He gave Kirishima a look that just said _trust me_. It's hard to shake a look like that, it's soft, squishy, and willing to be wrong if something goes wrong. It's a look that's hard to argue because of how innocent it acts. Kaminari was just saying what he thought was best. What would be helpful during the painful process of heartbreak. Kirishima rolled his eyes and groaned. He looked at the man one more time who wasn't even looking at Kirishima anymore. He finished what he had in his wine glass before grabbing the other one.

"If he's a pervert, I'm killing you." Kirishima said as he stood up.

Kaminari squealed and kicked his feet, "Go get 'em, tiger!"

Kirishima walked over toward the young man, he cleared his throat to get his attention and then pointed to the empty seat next to him.

"Is… Is this seat taken?" Kirishima asked.

The man smirked, "Help yourself," He said, "Took you long to get here. Your friend is awfully loud, if I were you I would have been here sooner."

Kirishima sat down and kept his glass in his lap, along with his hands, "Thank you for the drink."

"It's not a problem, I just wanted to see if they would actually serve it to you. Since you're definitely not old enough to be here."

Kirishima groaned and rubbed his face, "Christ, you're not a cop too, are you?"

"I am, actually," He said that a little too cheerfully, "But right now, I'm off duty so I won't rat you out. We're only young once and all that jazz."

"Thanks, I guess… You know, there's other people who shouldn't be here that you could offer them a drink instead of me."

"Yeah, I know. But you seem a little sad. I thought another drink would make you feel better," The man held out his hand, "I'm Toyomitsu."

Kirishima grabbed his hand and shook it, "Kirishima."

Toyomitsu nodded and gave him a smile, "Nice to meet you. Stay for a minute, will you? I ordered some cheese sticks and would love for someone to share with me."

"That's very nice of you sir but-"

"Ugh, don't call me sir. I'm not an old man yet. Just Toyomitsu will be alright."

"Okay… Toyomitsu, but… I'm not… You know?"

"Lactose intolerant?"

"N-no, like...Um…"

Kirishima tapped on his glass with his finger as his cheeks became brighter. Toyomitsu was much better looking up close. Toyomitsu started to laugh loudly and gave Kirishima a great big slap on the back.

"I'm not lookin' to marry ya, kid. I just don't want to eat a lot. Gotta watch my figure you know?" Totomitsu chuckled.

Kirishima rubbed his lower back as the man pulled his hand away. He looked up, Toyomitsu looked like he had good intentions. Kirishima swallowed and nodded.

"I can stay for a bit, my friend is waiting for me."

"Oh, the blonde with a streak in his hair?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"He's making out with some purple haired guy behind you."

Kirishima sighed and closed his eyes. He placed his wine glass down and propped his elbow on the table. Rubbing his head.

"Yep, you know, not actually surprised by that at all," Kirishima took a sip of his wine, "Any minute now they'll probably leave and go to the bathroom for a blowjob."

Toyomitsu whistled, "Jesus, is that what you kids are doing nowadays? Maybe I should offer them a condom."

"They have them, believe me. And it's not a good look when you're talking to a guy who has 'no intentions' of a hook up has condoms on them," Kirishima chewed his cheek, "I'm seventeen you know."

"Seventeen, eh? Jeez, what are they putting in your school milk boxes?" Toyomitsu joked. He moved his hand slowly to Kirishima's bangs and brushed them out of his face. It was sweet, "You look older. Maybe you just act mature is all. You're too young to look like you're having a crisis."

That got a sad laugh out of Kirishima. He shook his head, "Is it that obvious?"

"It's pretty bad when a seventeen year old is ordering wine at a bar," The bartender dropped off the cheese sticks in front of Toytomitsu. He took one and bit into it, "You want to talk about it? Ain't nothin' better than getting something off your chest by talking to a stranger in a bar."

Kirishima clicked his tongue. He took a much larger drink of wine this time and sighed out afterwards. A confession. Maybe that was what Kirishima needed.

"I just got out of a relationship."

"Ah-young heartbreak. Nothing hurts more than that. First relationship?"

"Yeah."

"Oof, even worse," Toyomitsu was already on his second cheese stick, "What happened?"

"He… His… He lost his mother. And I met him after it happened and he just got mad at me for being there. Then he told me he didn't love me and I haven't talked to him since."

"Damn, what a real dick."

Kirishima sighed heavily and put his lips on the rim of his glass, "Yeah, that's what lots of people are saying," Kirishima muttered, "I wish I would have listened to everyone in the beginning when they told me that. Would have saved me from a lot of shit."

"Well, you can't say that," Kirishima lifted his head, "There must have been good times. There always is."

Kirishima licked his lips. He leaned forward towards Toyomitsu. Like he was about to spill his guts about a secret he had been holding on to. There was something about Toyomitsu that was starting to grow on Kirishima in this short time. It could have been his cotton voice, or his unkempt blonde locks, or the fact that he was acting like he cared about Kirishima.

"He'd kill me for even saying this but. One night, Bakugou- that's his name," Toyomitsu nodded as he chewed, "Bakugou and I were walking back from a Kaminari's house because the trains weren't running this late. My feet were hurting so bad so I wasn't walking very fast. Bakugou said 'Get on my back. If we keep walking so slow, we'll be at your house when the sun rises'. And he hiked me up on his back. He put his jacket around me and let me sleep on his back while he walked to my house."

"That was very sweet of him to do."

Kirishima smiled. Finally, someone who agreed with him about Bakugou. He nodded, "Yeah, he would do all kinds of little things like that when no one was around. When it was just the two of us… It was like we were the last people on Earth or something. Heh… So stupid for me to ever think that."

"Hey, that's not stupid," Toyomitsu placed his hand on Kirishima's thigh, "You felt a certain way. No one can tell you that you're wrong to not be sad about this guy who left you with so many moments you cherish. You'll remember those moments for a long time. You don't forget your first love, but you do forgive them. See what I'm saying?"

Kirishima looked at Toyomistu's hand. Those great big grabbers that looked perfect for holding small objects with care. Kirishima didn't even notice that he had finished his glass of wine by now and quickly. His body was starting to feel all warm and fuzzy. He wanted Toyomitsu's hand to squeeze his leg. These were the kindest words Kirishima had heard in a while, they were something he desperately had wanted. He was defenseless to something like this. Kirishima's eyes fluttered, he leaned forward, placing his hand on top of Toyomitsu's. He moved his mouth to Toyomitsu's ear.

"If you kissed me right now, I wouldn't pull away." Kirishima whispered.

Toyomistu pulled his hand away and laughed, "I appreciate that but I'm not going to kiss you anytime soon. Maybe when you're eighteen. It may be legal here, but it's just a principle you know? Besides, you should do something more courageous than kiss a stranger ten years older than you."

"Like what?"

"You know, when I was in high school. I was chubby, and when I gave this love letter to a girl I liked. She rejected me. I was so hurt that I just wanted to do something so crazy and guess what I did?"

"My offer is still on the table."

"I lost weight. Now look at me, I'm super buff and a detective. That bitch can shove it," Toyomitsu flexed his arm, "You're pretty fit looking to begin with… Hmm," Toyomitsu snapped his fingers, "I've got it. How would you like to come home with me?"

"That sounds pretty good to me." Kirishima put his hand on Toyomitsu's chest.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." Kirishima said as he had his head in the tub.

"You needed something courageous to do after a break up and this is it, kiddo." Toyomitsu said before turning on the facet. The water rushed down on Kirishima's head.

"To think, I was going to let you kiss me."

"I know, I should tell your mother that. She probably wouldn't be too happy about that."

"Just wash this stuff out of my hair already."

Toyomitsu ran his fingers through Kirishima's hair. Washing it out with shampoo and conditioner until the water turned clear. He turned off the faucet and handed Kirishima a towel. Kirishima lifted up his head and dried his hair off with a towel.

"You ready for the big reveal?" Toyomitsu asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

Kirishima walked to the little mirror in the bathroom. His eyes widened as he looked at his new hair. It was bright red, candied apple color. Toyomitsu put his hands on Kirishima's shoulders.

"You look good as a redhead. You picked a good color I think."

"I look… Different."

"Different is good,kiddo.

Kirishima stared at himself longer. Kirishima nodded, "Different is good."

_So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	16. Today

**Hey guys! Hope you're doing well and enjoying the story so far. Please review, follo and favorit if you do. This kind of deals with some heavy stuff in this chapter, so you've been warned. I do not own MHA nor characters used. Enjoy!**

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_ 1.26  
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_I hate sleeping now. I try to stay up as late as I possibly can but...It's too hard. I dream terribly. I dream about him and that makes me awfully sad. Last night, I dreamt that I was in a hospital bed. The room was dark and I couldn't move. Suddenly, the door opened and… There he was. This bright orange glow around him like he was some spirit. He walked towards me, got on top of my hips, burning my flesh as his hands snaked around my neck. My skin sizzled but I felt like I had no need to scream so I didn't. He squeezed my throat, looked me in the eyes with such silence, I wanted to wrap my hands around his wrists just so I could feel him. His eyes looked so red, like little flames. I had the taste of aspirin in my mouth and I started to die. The most awful thing about that was that it felt good. To die, seeing him, feeling his aura as the light in my eyes began to fade. I wasn't scared, I was joyous… That's why my dreams worry me. _

_But my phone began to ring, and I woke up. It was Toyomitsu, calling me while he was on a late shift. I sounded mad, but it was probably just because I was so tired. Or maybe I hate the fact that this man is too grown, and seems to have everything together. But I talked to him longer than I should have on a school night. I've been shaking my pill bottle at night. Thinking about how many are in there just by the noise (twenty-seven), and how many it would take to kill me. To feel that sweet heat in my throat. I'm going to rip this page out before I see Ms Kayama. I don't want to talk about it. I want to sleep and not dream. I want a lot of things but, I don't think I'll get them while I'm here. I think coming to this town was a mistake._

This happened. This happened today and Kirishima couldn't believe it. That he found himself here once again. He stared at himself, shirtless in the mirror, frowning at his reflection. Going over his mouth, nose, eyes, the new color in his hair. God, what a stupid idea. The smell of copper running into the sink. He looked so tired and pale. Knowing that all that strength that he had mustered, all that work he had put into himself was never real. That all those fears and anxieties he had were real and would always be rooted in his reality. And that lastly, he would always be the pathetic coward he started off as. It started like how most things started for Kirishima. After school.

Bakugou had given Kirishima a note without saying anything to him. Without even looking at him. Bakugou just sat it on Kirishima's desk as he left the classroom like some sort of phantom. When Kirishima quickly put it in his lap before anyone could question him about it. He went to the school bathroom and sat on a toilet in the stall. He opened the note, he was sad to admit his heart skipped a beat.

_I'll be at your house tonight at six. Keep the door unlocked if you want me to come by. _

He knew it would be a bad idea if he let Bakugou come over. But that quiet gesture, and the way he wrote the note. In those nice cursive letters that swooped and swirled in black ink. A short message the Bakugou would hand out. It all made Kirishima's heart beat faster, like a schoolgirl. How he missed Bakugou as well. Not seeing his feet propped on the coffee table, to smell the ash from his cigarettes, to feel those large arms drape around Kirishima's shoulders. If this note meant getting all of that back in some way then he'd follow the instructions. So Kirishima went home. He changed his clothes, washed his face, and sat on the couch as he watched the time. Waiting for six o'clock to roll around. It was agonizing. But once he heard that doorknob turn, he turned off the television, he hopped up, brushed his bangs out of his eyes and put his hands behind his back.

Bakugou opened the door like he had never left. The look he gave was so familiar. The brows furrowed, the lips downward, and no crinkles in the face. Perfectly smooth. It took Kirishima's breath away. That gorgeous look kept him silent. The both of them were quiet for sometime, staring each other down awkwardly. Bakugou didn't take off his shoes. He rubbed the back of his neck and turned his head to the side. Bakugou pointed at him. Kirishima's eyes glowed.

"Your hair… it's… different." Bakugou muttered.

"It's been different for awhile now. I think it looks alright." Kirishima said, twisting his locks between his fingers.

"Right."

"... It's nice to see you. You look good. I can never get a good look at you now at my new desk."

"Right…"

Kirishima fidgeted with his hands and breathed out deeply. The small talk wouldn't cut it. Not while Kirishima's heart was racing. Kirishima nervously chuckled and scratched his cheek.

"Do you want to sit down? Talk for a little bit?"

"No, no. Not really." Bakugou said and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Then why did you even want to come here if you didn't want to talk?" Kirishima asked and took a step forward towards Bakugou. Bakugou stepped back. That worried Kirishima, "Bakugou…"

"I just want to stop by to give you this."

Bakugou pulled his hand out of his pocket and held out a key. Kirishima tilted his head and walked forward. His eyebrows raised.

"That's… that's my house key," Kirishima muttered, "Why are you giving this to me?"

"So you know I'm serious about this situation. Here, take it." Bakugou nudged his hand, but now Kirishima stepped back. Scared. This wasn't going as expected.

Kirishima shook his head slowly, "No."

"I'm not keeping it, Kirishima. You either take it or I just drop it off here, but it's not coming home with me."

"I said no."

"Kirishima, I'm not coming back here again-"

"Why?!" Kirishima gripped the collar of his shirt tightly, "You used to come here all the time. You loved coming here. Didn't you?"

"Kirishima-"

"You liked stopping by after school. You liked spending the night here… we did everything here."

"Kiri-"

"Stop! Stop saying my name like that. Don't tell me that's all you wanted to do here? Was to drop off a stupid key? Are you kidding me? Sometimes I think you're the dumbest guy on Earth," Kirishima bit his lip, "Don't you want to say you're sorry to me for what you said?"

Bakugou curled his hand around the key. He sighed, he seemed so different now. Like he had told himself all day long that he would be calm, that he wouldn't let his ego get in the way or yell and call names. He was going to repeat Kirishima's name as often as he could to remind Kirishima that he was human. That he would get to the point and have it be just that. But that was never him, and it wasn't what Kirishima was used to, it wasn't what he knew. The change was frightening. He put the key on an end table near the door. He walked towards Kirishima and put his hands on his shoulders. Kirishima felt like his soul could leave his body now. What Bakugou would say though would make his body feel heavy like a rock.

"No. I'm not goin' to apologize," Bakugou said, looking down on Kirishima. He turned his head, but of course Bakugou had to grip Kirishima's chin. Kirishima's stomach was in knots,"Kirishima, I'm dropping off that key and then I'm goin' to do everything in my power to make sure you never see me. And that's how it is."

Kirishima shook his head quickly and wriggled out of Bakugou's grasp on him. Why was he like this? That's what upset Kirishima the most, that he finally got him to be in his home again. Have him talking to him, looking at him. All so Bakugou could act like someone else. Kirishima lowered his head. He didn't want Bakugou to see him cry. He wanted his tears to roll back into his head.

"But I don't want that, Bakugou," Kirishima breathed, "I-I thought that note meant you'd finally come to your senses… that you'd want to try again… that you didn't mean all those things you said."

Bakugou ran his fingers through his hair, "I know. I knew you'd think somethin' stupid like that. But I didn't know how else to do this," Bakugou licked his lips. He seemed so serious. A real seriousness that Kirishima had never seen before in a single person, "Kirishima, I've realized since my mom died that the best thing I could do for you after telling you how I felt is by staying away from you."

Kirishima angrily chuckled and crossed his arms, "That's a dumb idea. Such an idiotic, moronic, idea. I still love you."

"And that's why I can't be with you. That's why you can't be around me," Bakugou again went for Kirishima's shoulders, "All I would do is hurt you again and again. Kirishima… I'm not going to love you back the same way you love me.That's just the guy I am… and you don't deserve that anymore."

"But I love you for who you are," Kirishima presses his hands to Bakugou's chest. Being so close to him, giving him such a pitiful look. He had missed that body, "I want to make it work, I want to make you feel better."

"Kirishima, I'm always going to be fine. As long as you've known me, I'm always going to be fine. But you, you won't be. Not while I'm around. You have to understand."

"But I don't," Kirishima's eyes started to water, pulling at Bakugou's shirt, wanting to get a piece of him, "I'm willing to do anything for you."

"Then why won't you let me go?"

Where did all this insight come from? What happened to the old Bakugou when his mother died? Did he leave and another person took his place? Or did Bakugou simply evolve and grow out of that angst-filled skin he occupied.Kirishima wouldn't know that part of the story, especially now. This was all an act, Bakugou knew he had to do this right. As properly as he thought he could do. Kirishima had the right to be properly broken up with, and Bakugou couldn't hurt him one last time. It wouldn't be fair. But it wasn't fair to leave Kirishima confused and left to his own devices.

Bakugou patted Kirishima's back. Giving it a nice up and down rub. He let Kirishima stay buried in his chest. But Bakugou had to stay on his ground and continue as he stabbed daggers in Kirishima's chest.

"If you call. I won't answer the phone. I have no problem losing our friends. They like you better anyway so I won't be around them. I asked if I could move to an advanced class because of my grades. I'll probably be out by the end of the week. Shinso will probably be able to be in 1-A finally now because of that," He wanted to say something that might make Kirishima happy, but that wasn't going to happen, "Kirishima, you have to move on from me. And I'm goin' to do everything in my power so that happens. I won't be any good to you."

"You're talking out of your ass right now," Kirishima muttered, he kept his head on Bakugou's chest,but then lightly punched it, "You're talking as if you're sacrificing yourself for me. But you're being selfish and trying to dress this up in pretty words. I could have been just fine if you just never talked to me again instead of doing this."

"No, you wouldn't," Bakugou played with Kirishima's hair. Probably a bad move on his part but it could be helped, "You'd be miserable."

"And you don't think I'm miserable right now?"

"You've been miserable your whole life. You've been an overthinking, anxious mess. You don't need someone like me in your life," Bakugou put his hands on Kirishima's cheeks, lifting up his head, "You deserve someone better than me. Someone so much better than me."

But who was better than Bakugou Katsuki? Truely, who was as abrasive as him, who was as strong and smart as him? Who had their own little world and would let Kirishima into it? The look in Bakugou's eyes of pure passion and ecstasy. Who would take whatever they want and not care about the damage they'd cause. Who had these qualities that Kirishima looked up to like a God? No one, as far as Kirishima knew. Kirishima closed his eyes tightly. He gripped the sides of Bakugou's head and kissed him deeply. The kiss didn't seem to surprise Bakugou at all, he must have expected that this could happen as a last-ditch effort.

Bakugou was now pressed against the door, as Kirishima raked his fingers through Bakugou's hair. Bakugou's eyes simply lowered, if he closed his eyes completely, his plan would be ruined. The connection of kissing felt good for the both of them. Kirishima pulled away, giving little kisses to his lips frequently as tears started to roll down his cheeks. His hands moved down to cup Bakugou's jaw. Hoping somehow the emotions he was feeling would flow into Bakugou.

"Please tell me this is all a lie," Kirishima said through wet lips, now moving to Bakugou's sweet neck, "Tell me that you've grown and this was your way of showing it. Admit to me that you've loved me and you want to try it again. Please… please."

Bakugou tore Kirishima's hands off of him. Holding on to his wrists as Kirishima waited for an answer. Bakugou sighed, he ran his thumb under Kirishima's eye. Looking into his pupils, seeing all of the damage he had caused for once and coming to terms with it. He was seeing all of his destructiveness in Kirishima's looks. He brushed hair out of Kirishima's face before pulling away. He turned the knob to the door and opened it. He didn't smile. That would just be mocking Kirishima at this point.

"You're gonna be good...Yeah, you'll be good."

"Bakugou!"

He left. And he left in a hurry and without saying goodbye. It would be foolish for Kirishima to go after him now. Not with the taste of Bakugou's lips in his mouth. Kirishima closed his eyes tightly for a moment before wiping his eyes. He stopped crying rather quickly after he left. Because Bakugou didn't leave Kirishima with sadness or anger. He left him feeling nothing. Absolutely numb. He had lost him, that was perfectly clear to Kirishima. And Bakugou would never let him get him back now. That was forsure. His brain was turning off.

So Kirishima went to the bathroom. Shedding off his shirt on the way and unbuttoning his pants. He started water in the bathtub and turned the faucet all the way to the left. His mother always said everything felt better after a hot bath, and this would be scorching hot. This is where he saw himself in the mirror now. Just, looking and looking and looking. Wondering where the bad part was on his face that made such an awful creature.

He hadn't taken his pants off yet, the water in the tub was starting to fill up, and he hadn't noticed the pill bottle in his hand. Not that he began to open it, the water was just too loud for him to hear the top pop off. He didn't even notice how he was crunching one pill after another with his teeth. The chalky taste lacing his tongue as he stared deeply in his eyes in the reflection. Wanting to purge out that little beast that made him so unlovable. His eyes began to water and turn red. His mouth felt dry as he ate another, and another, and another. His hand reaching into the bottle and then his mouth like a robotic gesture. The acid taste of the opioid caused Kirishima to gag, but he kept going. Steam from the tub started to appear. And in all that noise, his phone began to buzz in his sagging pants.

Kirishima picked it up, holding the phone to his ear.

"Yeah." Kirishima breathed.

"Yo, Kirishima," Toyomitsu greeted, sounding like he had a mouthful of food in his mouth. Maybe a donut, "I'm taking a ten and I thought I'd see what you're-"

"Hey uh… You know you should come to my house as soon as possible."

"Oh yeah? And why's that?"

"Cause I just did something horrible." Kirishima's voice was shaky. Toyomitsu's voice realized what he had just done. What he was doing.

"What do you mean? You didn't kill somebody did you?" The gravity of the situation had yet to hit Toyomitsu.

"I just ate twelve-no, no fourteen- fourteen of the twenty-seven Prozac I have."

"Excuse me?"

"You better hurry."

"Whoa, Kirishima. What the hell are you talking about?"

His nose began to bleed, the lights in the bathroom started to become to white. His mouth trembled. His heart beats were accelerating at a fast rate. His stomach began twisting and turning. The tub began to overflow.

"Kirishima? Kirishima, are you still there? Kirishima, answer me! Damn it! What the fuck?!"

Kirishima dropped his phone, and along with his phone, his whole body fell to the floor. Collapsing as one would after so many pills. The linoleum felt cool on his hot cheek. It was comforting: soothing. Kirishima's eyes began to drift, slowly closing. His head was empty. And he was asleep with no dreams, just like he wrote.

This happened. This all happened today.

* * *

As Kirishima began to wake up, he realized he was no longer in the bathroom, but in his bedroom. All snuggled up in his sheets, head resting on his familiar pillow. He groaned and stretched his arms above his head before noticing Kaminari was next to his bedside, sitting on a kitchen chair. He must have brought it in.

Kirishima blinked a few times. His head was killing him. Kaminari was breathing rather hard, he must have been looking at him ever since he got here.His hands tightly between his thighs. His eyes looked puffy and pink. Kirishima started to slowly sit up.

"What time is it?" Kirishima looked out his window, "Looks dark out. Maybe, ten? Eleven?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kaminari muttered, his look becoming more aggressive.

Kirishima rubbed his face, "It's good to see you too, Kaminari. When did you get here?"

"That guy… from the bar that one night-"

"Toyomitsu. Yeah, I remember now, he called me. Must have shown up if I'm here now. He called you?"

"He said he found you on the ground in your bathroom with all this water around you and- and all these pills-"

Kirishima placed his hand on his forehead and seethed, "Ouch, I banged my head pretty hard, huh?"

"He made you throw up all he could. He didn't know how long ago you took them."

"It's going to leave a mark."

"He was forsure you were going to die."

"Well, is there a bruise on my head or a cut? I don't want another scar."

"Will you shut the fuck up about pointless things and talk to me about what matters," Kaminari went straight to the point. Why were all these men getting to the point all of a sudden? "Why did you do this?"

Kirishima pulled his knees to his chest and tucked hair behind his ear. He licked his bottom lip, he couldn't taste Bakugou anymore. Kirishima ran his fingers through his hair and started to laugh, Kaminari didn't enjoy that. He didn't think this was such a laughing matter.

"Would you believe me if I told you I was tired?"

"No." Kaminari quickly said.

Kirishima sighed, "Yeah, I thought you'd say that,"He looked down at his bed sheets. He needed to wash them,"I was upset."

"So upset you tried to kill yourself? Are you kidding me?"

"Obviously not."

"Just tell me, Eijiro. Tell me why the fuck I got a call tonight because you tried kill yourself? What is going on that is so horrible in your life that you can't tell me about?"

Kirishima was glad he didn't let anyone know Bakugou passed him that note. It was much easier because there was nothing he had to tell him. But it would be much easier to have something to blame. And at this point, nothing was coming to Kirishima's mind that would be a good excuse. If he told Kaminari what Bakugou had said to him earlier, maybe Kirishima would get a hug from him. Maybe Kaminari would even cry with him as they blamed Bakugou for being an asshole once again. But what would be the point of that? While Bakugou was trying to be the good guy, the better man as Kirishima went on to ruin everything again. So Kirishima lied instead.

"I don't know, Kaminari, I just- my body reacted and I… I don't know, okay? I'm… I'm just not sure about anything anymore."

Kaminari couldn't accept that answer and Kirishima knew that. But he didn't want to burst out and scream at Kirishima. Tell him how much that attempt hurt him, hurt their relationship. Kaminari wouldn't tell him how he was going to miss Kirishima if he would have actually died. That he was crying as he washed vomit out of his hair and put him in a new set of clothes. Not while his friend, at this moment, was missing. Kaminari stood up.

"Yeah, I'm not sure about anything either." Kaminari grumbled as he walked out of the room and slammed the door shut. Causing Kirishima to jump.

He tasted blood in his mouth. He had tasted it before, when he was still living at home. At least home wasn't as complicated as this. No, if a girl waved at him now, Kirishima wouldn't bat an eye about it. Kirishima had ruined another thing in his life and he just would hope Kaminari or Toyomitsu would say anything about it to anyone. He had been selfish. He had been thinking about himself often. How others thought of him, how his friends thought of him, how his lover thought of him. But he never asked himself how he made others feel, just analyzing what they did once he noticed them feeling… something. That was his greatest fault. Kirishima took a lot of work, he should have known that some people couldn't take care of him.

Kirishima turned his head to the end table. He picked up his phone, there was a crack in the corner of it. He sighed and looked through his contacts. He put the phone to his ear and started to hear the rings.

"Baby?" Kirishima's mother's voice sounded sleepy, "Honey, you know not to call me so late."

"Hey, Ma… How are you doing?"

"I was just having a lovely dream. I was eating a whole stack of pancakes."

Kirishima laughed, "Yeah, yeah that sounds like a good dream."

"Baby, what's wrong? You sound sad."

"Nah, I'm not sad, Ma. Don't worry about me. Just a little tired. I just… I just wanted to call you to talk."

"Can't that wait till morning?"

"No, I need to talk to you now," Kirishima touches his finger tip to his bottom lip, "Ma, I think it's time I come home."

This happened. All of this, just happened today

* * *

_So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. See you next update._


	17. ASeaOfFishes

**Hey guys! New chapter, I really appreciate the new reviews and follows for the story. It's awesome and helps me out a lot so make sure you leave me a comment and a favorite. I do not own MHA not the characters used. Enjoy!**

* * *

_2.3_

_I've been reading my journal lately. I just want to revisit the memories I've made here until I go home. It makes me wish that instead of writing about dreams and my feelings that I would have taken more pictures. I could be looking at a photo of me and Kaminari the first day we met on the bus. I knew he would have like that. Or on my birthday I could have taken a picture of all of us at Jiro's parents club and see the drunk look on our sweaty faces. A classic high school experience that I would like to hold on to for many years. I could have taken a picture of Ms Kayama on that day we went out for coffee. She looked lovely that day. I'd love to have a picture of me and Shinso in an empty Creative Writing Club room, some space between the two of us like a yearbook picture. That would be poetic I think. I want a picture of me kissing Toyomitsu's cheek. I think we both would get a good laugh out of that._

_And of course I could have taken a picture of me and Bakugou just… doing anything and I'd be happy with that._

_I'm going to miss everyone once I'm gone. God, why did I have to meet such amazing people? Why did they have to like and care about me so much? Why couldn't my mother pick a much more mediocre town with average people? I could have lived such a quiet life here for the rest of my days if it was like that. So, what will life be like… After Bakugou Katsuki?_

It was another long day of packing for Kirishima. He and others had been slowly helping him gather up his things for a week. But two days before his mother would show up with a moving truck, it was going to have to be much faster. Everyone always thinks they have more time before the due date, but that's a lie all procrastinators tell themselves. Especially when it's something they don't particularly want to do. This was no exception.

Kirishima and Kaminari were in the bedroom, boxing up all his knick-knacks and clothes while Toyomitsu and Shinso boxed up items in the kitchen. They sat on Kirishima's bed as they folded away clothes. Kaminari sighed, holding one of Kirishima's pants in his lap.

"Do you remember that day on the train? When we first met?" Kaminari asked.

"Of course I do. I think about that day often. Feeling nostalgic all of a sudden,eh?" Kirishima asked as he pulled down a Crimson Riot poster from above his bed.

"Well, yeah, I am. Packing up all your stuff brings it up," Kaminari said, sadly. But he smiled anyway, "I think of that day a lot too. It felt like it was going to be such an ordinary morning. When I saw a boy my age wearing a UA uniform, I was so excited. I just knew you'd be a good train buddy and then once you told me you were in 1-A-Boy! Was I happy to know I had made a new friend like you."

Kirishima chuckled as he rolled up the poster and put a rubber band around it, "Really? You just knew we would be friends? See, I thought you'd totally think I was lame and wouldn't want to talk to me again after I went- 'I'm Kirishima Eijiro, nice to meet you!'" Kirishima reacted like that day and held his hand out. He got a laugh from Kaminari who grabbed his hand.

"No, that's when I knew I liked you. So awkward, it was funny. I could tell you were nervous and needed someone like me around you."

Kaminari was completely right in thinking that. If Kaminari was an animal, he'd be a dog. Maybe a Labrador because of how loyal he was. Kaminari was weirdly patient with people. He showed his loyalty by packing up all of Kirishima's things after a suicide attempt. That was unconditional love for sure. Kaminari must like trying to take broken things and trying to show them it's alright to not be perfect. That's why Kirishima was his best friend. That's why Kaminari had a boyfriend who never slept and wanted to be an overachiever and an underachiever at the same time. If Kirishima was an animal, he'd be a sheep. Kirishima gave Kaminari's hand a squeeze.

"I'm going to miss you." Kirishima whispered.

"Ah, don't go on saying things like that. It's not like you're never going to see me again," Kaminari said, "You're going to visit at least once every few months and when it's summertime you're going to bunk with me. Just like we promised. Right?"

"Right, but that doesn't mean I'm going to miss you any less," Kirishima ran his thumb over Kaminari's knuckle, "It's hard… leaving such a good friend like you."

"Oh stop, you'll make me cry again," Kaminari pulled Kirishima in for a hug, rubbing his back, "If you don't want to leave so bad then… why won't you stay?"

Kirishima sighed and closed his eyes. The reason was so obvious, wasn't it?

"There's nothing left for me here, Kaminari. I've told you that already."

"I know, but that doesn't make it hurt any less," The truth never usually did.Kaminari gripped the back of Kirishima's shirt tightly, "You're the type of friend that I thought was going to be around for years… maybe we'll meet again closely like this… maybe I'll somehow be smart enough to get into the university you choose. Maybe we'll bunk in the same dorm."

"It would be hard being your roommate. You're noisy," That got a laugh out of Kaminari, "...Maybe we'd take a few of the same classes."

"Yeah… I just… I thought we'd have more time together before we'd have to act like adults like that,you know? I wish we could be teenagers longer."

Kirishima swallowed, Kaminari's grip was so tight on him he couldn't pull away even if he wanted to. Kirishima ran his hand through Kaminari's hair. Kaminari smelt like rain after a thunderstorm. Crisp and light. They held each other close for a long time, not getting any work done. Kaminari all curled up in Kirishima's lap, feeling tiny and Kirishima big. Kaminari started to cry from thinking about all the memories they could have made together if Kirishima just stayed a little bit longer. All these fantasies running through his head. Kirishima felt bad for putting someone through this type of pain, this type of loneliness that he too had felt before.

"Do you really need to go all because of one guy?" Kaminari asked, quietly, "You could get over that, I just know it."

"It's not just one guy… it's Bakugou, Kaminari."

"I-I know… I know…"

"I love you."

"I-I love you too it's just… it's just going to be tough… not seeing that seat filled on the train in the morning."

* * *

At this time, everything was pretty much packed away except for the major items that Kirishima's mother would help put away once she got here. At this time, two in the morning, Kaminari and Shinso were sleeping in Kirishima's empty room. Cuddled closely together after their bellies were filled with pizza and beer and for packing so many ceramic bowls and shirts. Shinso playing with Kaminari's hair late at night while Kaminari drooled on him. It was quite emotional for everyone that day, it took a lot of energy out of the group. Toyomitsu and Kirishima sat on the ground of the living room. Still eating while watching late-night television and listening to music quietly. Tuning out both. Toyomitsu was on his fourth slice of pepperoni pizza, Kirishima had finished his two slices and was now smoking a cigarette. He tapped ash into a solo cup.

"I should quit smoking soon," Kirishima sighed, "My mom would be upset if I did it around her."

"You're a mama's boy, aren't you, Kirishima?" Toyomitsu said before swallowing.

"Don't talk with your mouthful. It's not polite and it's gross. My dad used to smoke all the time and I could tell it bothered her," Kirishima inhaled, "But he looked so grown up doing it… I think I'm just a 'parent boy'. I like my parents a lot."

Toyomitsu chuckled. He shook his head, "You're a good kid, you know?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's what every adult says to me. It gets annoying sometimes," Kirishima looked over at Toyomitsu, "Do you think… If I was a little older, you'd treat me… Differently?"

"Differently… Hmm… No, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I'd treat you how I've been treating you. Do you not like how I treat you?"

"I wasn't saying that," Kirishima said and stubbed out his cigarette, "...Well, maybe it is what I'm saying."

"Oh yeah?" Toyomitsu smirked, "How would you like me to treat you then?"

Kirishima clicked his tongue and placed his hand on his cheek, tilting his head, "Like you're interested in me…"

"There ain't too many people I'd help move just to get a pizza to myself."

"I highly doubt that."

"Good observation, kid."

Kirishima smiles and shook his head, "I just wish I lived a little more while I was here. I should have gone to more events Kaminari invited me to. I should have waited longer to be in a relationship… maybe then I wouldn't be so heartbroken and have to leave so soon. I wish I would have met someone like you sooner."

"You know, for someone like you," Toyomitsu wiped his hands on his pants and scooted beside Kirishima. He was so much broader than Kirishima, "I bet if you called your mom right now, and told her you changed your mind about moving. I bet you she would let you do that. You wanna try? I'll tell you what to say to make it easier."

"That's a funny joke."

"I'm being serious."

"Youwe not very good at acting seriously."

"Try it."

"No, I have to go."

"No, you don't."

Toyomitsu grabbed Kirishima by the shoulders. Gently, not in a get-yourself-together kind of way. Where the grip is harsh and hands are shaky.

"You have to go because you say you have to," Toyomitsu leaned in close, eye level with Kirishima, "Kirishima, I saw you do something terrible to yourself. And the fact that you still have friends close to you, who still want to know you after something like that means that there's a place for you here. That you have a much higher calling than you think you do."

"Toyomitsu…" Kirishima slowly crept his hand on Toyomitsu's thigh without him noticing.

Kirishima bit his bottom lip. Watching as Toyomitsu continued to speak. How his blonde strands would sway as his big mouth would open and close. He had such white teeth. He truly did wish that there was some way he could have known Toyomitsu earlier. Maybe somehow Kirishima would be able to grind him down and have some short lived, pleasant relationship together and afterwards a friendship. Kirishima pulled on Toyomitsu's pant leg until his conversation ended.

"But you say you have to leave because of Bakugou. This high school guy that you'll probably laugh about someday from feeling like this. Kirishima I think you're making a big mistake here."

Kirishima swallowed and turned his head to the side. No one got Bakugou like how Kirishima did. That was the hardest part about explaining this sudden leave.

"Yeah, well… if it is then I just have to live with that mistake for once and try not to kill myself over it." Kirishima chuckled.

"That's not funny."

"I know."

Toyomitsu sighed and pulled his hands away from Kirishima's shoulders. He grabbed for Kirishima's pack of cigarettes and popped on into his mouth. He lit it and afterwards put his arm around Kirishima's lower back. Why did he have to do things like that? Was it funny for him to casually flirt with someone he didn't want to be with like that? It was a lovely annoyance in Kirishima's life. Toyomitsu exhaled heavily.

"You know, there's this vast ocean. And in that ocean are many many fish. So many fish that we haven't even discovered every species in the ocean as human beings," Toyomitsu's hand extended in front of him, visually trying to show Kirishima the sea cliche, "And if you catch one of those fishes and they just get away, guess what? There's so many more to choose from! They'll come and go but one day, you find a fish that wants to be caught. And that'll be your fish."

Kirishima rolled his eyes and moved into Toyomitsu's side. Toyomitsu pulled him in. What an awful man he wasn't trying to be.

"Guess I like fish that aren't that into me," Kirishima said and moved his hand up Toyomitsu's thigh, unnoticed, "Toyomitsu, did you not want to kiss me because you just really didn't like me that way?"

"I told you, a man like me has morals to stick to."

What a shit job he was doing at that. But when you're a grown up you can be a hypocrite.

"Tell me the truth… stop talking to me like I'm a baby. Stop telling me all these speeches and shit and just talk to me like I'm a man too," Kirishima's brows furrowed as he looked at Toyomitsu, "Just tell me what you were really thinking that night you saw me. And how that made you be here right now."

Toyomitsu's face lowered from his jolly look to one of somber. Because he knew that now he was in trouble. And if he didn't say what needed to be said, nothing good would come from this night. Not with someone like Kirishima. He took another drag of the cigarette and readjusted himself on the ground.

"You looked sad. I saw how Kaminari was talking your ear off and how you just didn't care. When you get to be my age, you realize when people are talking to others and not listening it's because they're thinking about something else. And my god, you looked like you were thinking hard," Toyomitsu chuckled as he tapped off the ash. His voice sounded like molasses, "I told the bartender to order you another drink on me… honestly I didn't get a good look at you until you turned around and that's when I knew you were so young."

"And? Once I sat next to you, what were you thinking?"

"Heh! I think this will get a tickle out of you. Once I saw you I kept telling myself 'Jesus Christ he's just a boy!' Over and over in my head while you sat by me."

Kirishima huffed, "Why would that make me laugh?"

"Because I was telling myself that so I wouldn't get too handsy with you," Toyomitsu smiled and rubbed the back of his neck as he stubbed out his cigarette, "I liked talking with you that night. I liked that you wanted to kiss me. I liked how you let me dye your hair and that you fell asleep with me on my couch after we drank more. I do like you, Kirishima. That's why it's kind of hard to know you're leaving. I just met you… I wish I would have seen more of you… and I hope somehow you'll change your mind," Toyomitsu stretched his arms above his head, "But you're old enough to know what to do. And you're so damn stubborn anyway-"

In this moment of weakness, Kirishima put his hands on Toyomitsu's chest. Getting in his lap and pressing his lips to Toyomitsu's. It surprised him, so Toyomitsu didn't push him off straight away, but his eyes stayed wide open as Kirishima pulled on the collar of his plain shirt. Kirishima's cheeks weren't pink, that's how he knew he was into the idea of being with someone like Toyomitsu. But that person would never make him feel like how Bakugou made him feel. He liked how rough Toyomitsu's lips were, how they had been kissed many times so one more wouldn't hurt. Finally, Toyomitsu pulled Kirishima away from him, the two lightly breathing out.

"I had to do that. I had to kiss another person before I go." Kirishima muttered.

"Okay…" Toyomitsu felt almost speechless.

"I want to do it again."

"Oh-uh!"

Kirishima places his hands on Toyomitsu's jawline. For once he felt like the predator, and he had just caught his prey. This was how it felt to grow up, to take control over things that weren't for yourself but for other people. It was to change others. But Kirishima was better than an adult, because he could look at himself and others around him. Kirishima kissed him again. He pushed Toyomitsu's to the ground which wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. At this point, Toyomitsu was like marshmallow fluff. He kept his hands hovering by Kirishima's hips which aggravated the boy something fierce. Kirishima moved his lips to Toyomitsu's neck and left little kisses on his skin. He rubbed his hands over Toyomitsu's chest and down his stomach.

"It feels good, right?"

"K-Kirishima-"

"Aren't you mad at yourself that you didn't do it first? I know I am."

"Kirishima, we need to stop."

"Or what?" Kirishima asked, now feeling Toyomitsu's hands on his hips, "You might enjoy yourself? I used to do the same thing. Stop your good guy act already and give in. You said you liked me, right?"

Kirishima pressed his body against Toyomitsu's, the blonde grunted. He felt ashamed that he did so, but he wasn't doing much to make Kirishima stop. Kirishima rocked his hips against Toyomitsu's.The size difference of his bulge against Kirishima's felt unimaginable, but he only had one other person to compare to. Toyomitsu arched his back as Kirishima nibbled on his collar bone, slowly moving his hand down Toyomitsu's stomach to his sweatpants. Toyomitsu grabbed Kirishima's wrist quickly and caught his breath.

"Doing this with me won't make you stay." Toyomitsu breathes out.

Kirishima stopped moving and blinked his eyes, "I… I know that, that's not why-"

Toyomitsu began to sit up, keeping his hands around Kirishima's waist. It's like Kirishima didn't have any muscle and that he weighed nothing to Toyomitu. He looked deeply into Kirishima's eyes. There was no way of getting out of this by kissing him again. Nothing would be fixed by kisses like Kirishima thought.

"It's not going to change any of the choices that you've made before."

"Hey stop-"

Toyomitsu put his hand on Kirishima's cheek.

"And it's not going to make you forget about him, Eijiro."

Kirishima breathed out heavily through his nose a few times. He didn't know if he wanted to punch Toyomitsu and yell at him because of his rejection. Or if he wanted to sob and spill his guts. That all seemed like too much energy. Kirishima closed his eyes and buried his head in Toyomitu's chest. He let out an odor of pizza grease and left over cologne.

"You're right… you are too old for me. I hate how you know just what to say."

"It's not like I haven't been in a situation like this before."

"If I were you- if I were anyone who knew me- I would never know what to do with me."

Toyomitsu rubbed Kirishima's back in a soothing motion, then soon pulling him in for a well needed hug. Kirishima wrapped his arms around him and gripped his shirt tightly.

"You're a good kid, that's why," Toyomitsu said, "You sure you don't want to give your mom a call? Tell her you're staying? I'll let you kiss me again if you do."

Kirishima laughed at Toyomitsu's joke and punched his stomach.

"Shut up. You're so stupid."

"And you're mean. Saying something like that after attacking me."

"You didn't put up much of a fight."

"Yeah, I guess that makes us both mean."

"Stop talking and just hold me like I'm leaving tomorrow."

"You practically are."

"Stop. Talking."

Toyomitsu chuckled, "Aye, aye, kiddo."

* * *

_So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow and favorite if you did. See you next update._


	18. Someday

**Hey guys! Hope you're doing well and staying healthy. Hopefully you're like the story. Please review and follow if you do. I don't own MHA nor the characters used. Enjoy!**  


* * *

_2.4_

_ To whom it may concern,_

_ No, I'm not dead, I just didn't want to write more than I had to today. But I know I have to do it or else none of you will be satisfied. To begin, I would like to address Kaminari._

_ Kaminari, you were the first person I met and everyday I am grateful for that. I don't know what I was thinking when you just gravitate towards me. I just should have known like you did that we were destined to know each other. That fate needed us to be friends. You will be the person I miss the most. Don't change, someone else like me might come around and need you just as much as I did. I love you as much as God loves this green Earth._

_ To Mina, Sero, and Jiro. Mina, tell Sero everything you told me. Tell him how you want to kiss him, hold hands with him, and all the other things I'm not willing to write in this letter. You must say them. He will be kind to you, and I know he won't reject you. And those will be the only words of wisdom I'll tell you. Sero, remember those long conversations we had on couches and in kitchens with no one around. I know I always will. I won't repeat anything we said, that between me and you. And Jiro, please listen to that band I told you about. I know that there will be a song you like and it'll bring you back to a time when I was there. Even if you don't care that much, others will._

_ Shinso, you were always the best to me and that's the truth. No one else could treat me as good as you did. You made me say things that I was always too chicken-shit to say and I thank you for that. I'm glad you made that stupid club because without it who knows how many things I'd keep bottled up inside of me. I'm glad I could know your memories and you mine. No one else would be able to handle them as well as you could. I think the next word you should write on the board is Happiness. I never got to hear many happy things from you. Sleep tight, Hitoshi._

_ Toyomitsu… stick around, will yeah?_

_ And to Bakugou… to you, I'll tell you later. But know that I **will** be telling you._

_ Sincerely, Kirishima Eijiro._

Today was different going to Ms Kayama's office today. Instead of having a last session, they instead went to get a cup of coffee. It was Ms Kayama's treat, a going away type of deal. She mostly didn't want her last day with her favorite client to be in her stuffy office. She'd rather it be in a cafe with clean air and the aroma of coffee beans and warm pastries. Kirishima came straight from school to the cafe address Ms Kayama texted him. He was wearing his school clothes and his bag strap close to his chest. Ms Kayama wore a black pencil skirt that went to her knees and a long sleeve striped button up. The cafe was warm and cozy. As Kirishima was opening up sugar packets, Ms Kayama's was digging out a few things from her pocket book.

"So, here's a few recommendations I have for therapists in your area that I want you to give to your mother" She said, passing over papers to Kirishima, "And there's a prescription I've written up for you until you find another therapist. And lastly, I got you a new journal since your old one is probably full by now."

Kirishima grabbed the papers and the journal, setting them near the edge of the table for now. The journal was blue and hardcover instead of the flimsy grey one he had before.

"Thanks. I wrote my last page today."

"May I read it?"

"Um… no, I'd rather you not. This one means a lot to me. I'd rather keep it private. I can keep the journal, right? You don't need it for anything do you? I'm not sure how stuff like this works."

Ms Kayama batted her hand and took a sip of her coffee, "You can keep it. I don't have any use for it since you're not my patient anymore. The only reason why I had you write in was just so I could grasp were you were emotionally."

"What a rollercoaster that was, huh?"

Ms Kayama smiled softly, "I suppose, for you more so than me. I would have liked to keep it as something to remember you by but it's alright."

Kirishima chuckled and stirred his coffee, "Heh, that would be weird to have a teenagers journal on your bookshelf."

Ms Kayama giggled,rethinking what she just said, "Yeah, it would be a bit funny. But I like how you write. It's rather dreamy sometimes. Maybe when you go to college you can be a writer or something. Make a book."

"Yeah, I'll write a self help book. Title it 'I don't know what the fuck I'm doing either'."

That made them both laugh for a while until rolling into a pleasant sigh. Ms Kayama extended her hand towards Kirishima. Touch was usually a good way to get a point across in some way or another. A very persuasive technique. Her hand looked so young and small as she squeezed.

"Do you still think leaving is the best thing for you?" Ms Kayama asked, "I mean, I know you've already told me why you want to go but, is it really going to help, you think?"

"I do. But you're the therapist here so maybe I should ask you. Do you think I should go?"

"Well, I think since you've gotten here you've done well with building up relationships with others. You've changed emotionally and even physically with your new hair color so that's usually a good sign. The emotional change not the hair dying. Unstable people usually do that," That was a joke that fell flat, "But that means things are going alright with you. This is a good environment for you to expand and learn more about yourself."

Very professional. Using terms such as 'emotional' and 'relationship building'. These were all good responses since Ms Kayama was unaware of the fact that Kirishima tried to kill himself. But this was to mask that Ms Kayama was going to miss him. That's why she was in a cafe instead of her office, and why she was holding Kirishima's hand instead of keeping distance from him. She had a somewhat unhealthy relationship between her and a patient, her motives are more personal based. Kirishima knew all of this but he simply nodded and gave her hand a small pat before pulling away.

"Are you going to miss me?" Kirishima asked.

"Duh, of course I'm going to miss you, is that even a question?" Her voice sounded so certain, "You were different, that's for sure. I'll miss all of our little talks."

"Sessions."

"... Sessions. Right."

"I will too. I hope one of these therapists will be as good as you were."

"I'm sure they will, they had to learn all the same stuff that I did."

Kirishima hummed, "Are you still seeing that guy?"

Ms Kayama blushed softly, "Oh, yeah, I am actually. We're actually going out tonight, he's taking me to a dancing class even though I told him I'm a terrible dancer."

"I guess that's why he's taking you to a class then."

"Maybe you're right," Ms Kayama put her hand under her chin, "Have you… talked to Bakugou at all?"

"Heh, no. He left 1-A and if I try to call him it just goes straight to voicemail," Kirishima took a sip of his coffee and ran his fingers through his hair, "But that even happens when Kaminari or someone else tries to call him. So… I don't know what's up with him."

"Does he even know you're leaving?"

"I think somehow he does. Word does get around, you know? I'm sure it got to him one way or another."

"And he still hasn't said anything to you? How strange."

Was it? Bakugou seemed pretty serious when promising Kirishima he was going to stay far far away from him. And it's not like at this point Kirishima was going to go out of his way to meet Bakugou. Not with everything that had happened between them. Kirishima wouldn't even know what to do if somehow they set something up to see each other. Not yet anyway. Kirishima shrugged and ripped up an empty sugar packet.

Kirishima's phone buzzed in his pocket, he checked it and clicked his tongue, "I hope you don't mind but I have to get going. Sorry to be abrupt but. I have to get on the next train. It's scheduled a little earlier than I thought. I have plans, Kaminari and Shinso are having a going away party for me. Something small, you know?"

Ms Kayama nodded, "That's alright, no worries. I assumed you'd have something going on since it's your last day here. I'm just glad I was able to see you."

Kirishima started to put away the papers and journal Ms Kayama had given him in his bag.

"I actually have something for you."

"It's not another necklace is it?"

"No, no. It's not really a gift or anything like that," Kirishima pulled out a plain envelope and held it out for Ms Kayama, "I guess you can think of it as something to remember me by."

Ms Kayama took the envelope, she started pulling at the crease slowly but Kirishima began to wave his hands.

"Don't read it yet. Wait till I leave, I don't want to be embarrassed." Kirishima said as he zipped his bag.

"It's not a love note is it?" Me Kayama asked and began to fan herself with the envelope.

"You're not really my type," Kirishima finished the rest of his coffee and excused himself from the table, "Bye Ms Kayama."

He put his hand on her shoulder briefly before walking away. Ms Kayama looked behind her and watched as Kirishima left the cafe before turning to the envelope. She ran her nail along the seam and opened it up. Inside was a folded up piece of paper, she pulled it out and straightened out the creases. She pushed up her glasses and began to read the letter.

_ Dear Ms Kayama,_

_ I thought I'd dedicate some time to write you a letter before I leave. You're someone who I truly think deserved their own letter for dealing with all of my shit this whole time. I just wanted to let you know that for me, I probably should have switched therapists early on when I got here. It's not that you're bad at your job or anything but for me… I know you treated me extremely differently for whatever reason. Maybe you saw yourself as a mother figure for a boy living on his own in a new place. But I already have a mother, and what I needed was a doctor. I'm not saying that's your fault, I'm not saying you weren't helpful, you really were. But things between us were too personal. And sometimes, I think our sessions were more for you than for me some days. That's okay though, sometimes we all need help. You should know that more than anyone._

_ This isn't a letter about how you should have been a better therapist even if it's coming off like that. I do want to thank you. Thank you for making me say and do new things, realizing that my emotions will not be the end of me if someone sees, and that it's okay that I'm a mess because even a well put together adult like you is also a mess. A sweet, awfully beautiful mess. Maybe someday I can see myself as beautiful as you are. Someday. You did the best job as you could trying to see yourself as someone I could look up to. Thank you for your advice. Some of which I actually took here and there and some that I'll still use as I go home._

_ I love you, Ms Kayama. I don't want to leave on any secrets, but some I'm too ashamed to tell you in person. I tried to kill myself not too long ago. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I was afraid you'd say something to make me want to stay. _

_ You achieved what you wanted as being my friend. I hope you'll get married one day. Your internal clock isn't ticking anytime soon. Thank you. For everything. I'm not whole, but I'm no longer broken because of people like you._

_ Goodbye, Ms Kayama._

_ Kirishima Eijiro._

Ms Kayama swallowed. She put the letter in her lap and quickly took a drink of her coffee. Wishing it was still scolding hot and not luke warm. She licked her bottom lip, reflecting on all the times she was with Kirishima. From the first time she shook his hand to this very moment. Was she doing this all on purpose when she knew some of her methods weren't to help Kirishima, but more so to know who he was as a young man? The letter began to crumple in her palms, she didn't mean it but it just was on instinct. Her eyes began to well up but she quickly wiped them before anyone saw her. She looked down at the paper and began to reread it. She smiled, even at the sad parts she smiled. There wasn't much she could do now for him.

"My god," she muttered to herself, only loud enough so she could hear it. Kirishima at this point had made it to the train station on time, "I'm going to miss that boy like crazy."

* * *

There was a going away party to go to. But that wouldn't be until much later. That's why Kirishima was at the front door of the Bakugou household. The sun was setting, and it was starting to turn cold. Kirishima made a fist and knocked on the door. He put his hands to the side, waiting for a response to come soon. The door opened like it had no weight to it. Bakugou's father opened the door. He looked just the same but his eyes. His eyes seemed like they hadn't seen a dream in some time, like they hadn't been able to take a break in weeks.

"Kirishima?" Masaru said, surprised, "What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Mr. Bakugou," Kirishima smiled and raised his hand, "Bakugou isn't home, is he?"

"Bakugou? Oh, no. Suki hasn't come home yet. He usually doesn't until much later," Masaru opened the door wider, "Would you like to come in?"

Kirishima nodded, "Yes sir, thank you."

"My goodness, what did you do to your hair?"

Kirishima laughed, "What? Don't like it? I think I look like Crimson Riot now."

"No, you look very nice. It's just very surprising. At first I didn't know who was at my front door."

Masaru made room for Kirishima to walk inside and then shut the door. The house looked much more minimalistic at this point. Kirishima took off his shoes.

"It's been awhile since I've seen you. I know you and Bakugou hit a rough patch but I thought you might still give me a call. Would you like some tea? I was just making some before you showed up."

"Yeah, that sounds nice. Thank you."

"Make yourself comfortable on the couch. I'll bring it out."

Kirishima sat down on the couch as Masaru went to the kitchen. Kirishima saw an ash tray that he hadn't seen before sitting on the clear coffee table. Kirishima took out his pack of cigarettes, taking one out. Masaru returned rather quickly with two cups of hot tea and passed one to Kirishima. He pulled out a lighter and put in on the coffee table. Kirishima took it and lit the end.

"Me and Bakugou didn't hit a rough patch. We broke up, sir." Kirishima said.

"Yes, I know all about that. His little scheme of staying away from you and such. I don't think it'll last forever though."

"It'll be awhile," Kirishima blew on the hot liquid, "I'm leaving to go back home tomorrow."

Masaru lifted up his head and smiled, "Oh… huh, is that so? Well, I appreciate the visit. Now I wish Bakugou came home sooner."

"I don't. That's why I came the time I did. I knew he wouldn't be here yet," Kirishima took a sip of his tea, "I mostly came to see you."

"Oh yeah? And why's that?"

Kirishima took a drag of his cigarette, "Because I have a few things to say to you."

"Well then," Masaru sunk into the seat, "Say whatever you'd like."

"To start… how have you been lately?"

Masaru chuckled and scratched the back of his head, "You mean since my wife died, right?"

"I didn't say that. But if you want to talk about it you can."

Masaru clicked his tongue, "I've been managing. The first week was the worst week of my whole entire life. I miss her everyday but it's gotten better. Can't sleep worth shit though. It's like my body is just waiting for her to call out in the night for me but… that of course never happens. But it gets better… it gets better."

He just repeated that three times. Better. What part could possibly be getting better? The brain? The heart? It looked like Masaru still aches all over.

"Strangely enough, I think her dying helped Bakugou a lot… which now that I say it out loud sounds so sad." Masaru chuckled.

"No, not really. I don't mean for this to come off badly but you should know... He was ready for her to die."

"Yeah… Yeah I know," Masaru put his head in his palm briefly and rubbed his face, "God I'm awful for agreeing with that aren't I?"

Kirishima rubbed Masaru's shoulder and shook his head, "No, you're just realizing the truth is all."

Masaru breathed out through his nose, "It's been so long since you've been here I almost forgot how all of our conversations got so deep so quickly."

That was because Kirishima always wanted information from Masaru since his son would very rarely give him a proper answer. Masaru was a keeper of knowledge for everything Kirishima wanted to know and he would give it easily if that's what it took to have Bakugou's friend in the house. Kirishima did feel bad about this, using Bakugou's father in some ways. But that wouldn't stop him from learning everything he wanted to know. Kirishima chuckled and tapped the ash off of his cigarette. He motioned his pack towards Masaru but he kindly declined.

"So. Going back home, huh? I didn't think you living here was going to be a temporary thing." Masaru said.

"Yeah, not many people did. I didn't even think I was going back home anytime soon but… things change."

"It wouldn't have to do with my son would it?"

Yes. But Kirishima wouldn't tell him that.

"No, no. It was my decision to go home," Masaru began to chuckle. Kirishima tilted his head, "What's so funny?"

"You keep saying _home_ like you don't have one here. You have your own little apartment. With your own coffee table and your own bed. With all your action figures set up."

"Hey, how do you know about my figurines?"

"Bakugou talked about your house a lot. He'd tell me when you bought a new book or another poster. He'd talk about all sorts of stuff he did with you there. He knew every nook and cranny in your house. I'm sure he'd be sad to know that all those things won't be there anymore. I think he felt that your house was just as much as his."

"...Yeah… I guess so."

Kirishima took another drag. He knew that Bakugou knew he was leaving somehow. So the isolation and the move had to weigh heavily on him. Bakugou did love the safe haven dictated at Kirishima's apartment.

"Sir, where does Bakugou go when he's not home?" Kirishima asked.

Masaru bit his cheek and laughed, "He keeps his location on, so I know where he's at so I don't have to worry if he comes home late. Since he broke up with you, he's been hanging out at the train station a lot. He'll go to the coffee shop they have there and watch trains come and go all day long. Sometimes until it gets dark," Masaru tan his fingers through his hair, "Heh, sometimes I think one day he's going to get a train ticket to somewhere I don't know and never come back home."

"That's irrational don't you think? He's not just going to get up one day and leave forever."

"Oh yeah? You don't think so? Then what does it mean when a young man stays at a train station all day long if it wasn't because he wanted to go somewhere?"

"Well… uh…"

"I gotcha there with that one huh?"

"Ah, whatever. But let's say that that is what he plans on doing. Hypothetically-"

"It's not hypothetical, Kirishima, he'll do it one day. Probably in the same vein of how you chose to leave. He'll pick a date and then up and go."

"I'm not just up and going, I've been planning this.I'm leaving because there isn't anything left for me here."

"Same goes for Suki."

Kirishima tapped his fingers on his mug, "Doesn't that scare you?"

"No. Not at all."

"None? No fear whatsoever?"

"Nope."

"Not a one. That your son won't come home and that he never will again. That doesn't scare you in the slightest? My Ma would kill you if she heard you say that."

"Kirishima, I know that you know my son well but I will always know him better," Masaru said this with such confidence. The kind that couldn't be knocked down, "When my wife got sick, he never cared for this place but he couldn't go anywhere too far because his mother is dying in the next room… Katsuki was meaner than hell but he would never leave his family like that. He sacrificed a lot for us, more than any teenager should. I'd feel horrible if he didn't think that now that she's gone he has to stay here."

Kirishima was unsettled by the thought of Bakugou leaving to some place where he couldn't go and see him if he wanted to. And maybe that's how everyone else felt about him leaving. That he was running away and that the aching feeling of missing someone would not bring them back. This place wasn't right for either of them. Kirishima wished that now, the two of them could run away together but they were going in two different directions now. And that they would never meet up at the same place after all of this was over. But he finally understood that heavy feeling and that he should apologize to many of his friends. Kirishima stubbed out his cigarette and finished the rest of his tea.

"He would be a good drifter I suppose," Kirishima joked, "Maybe he'll run away to Paris and learn how to curse in French."

Masaru smiled, "No, he'd never get that far. Europeans would kick him out of their country before he could even say, _Je_ _m'appelle_."

The both of them chuckled. Masaru seemed glad to be having a conversation with someone his son's age. A former lover. Someonewho knew him well.

"Would you like another cup or do you have to go?"

"I have a lot of time to talk before I have anything to do. I'd love another cup."

"Wonderful," Masaru stood up and went into the kitchen, "I've been thinking about getting a dog soon. I need the company."

"A dog? Cats are much easier animals to take care of."

"Yes, but they're never much fun."

"Hey, I'm going to use the bathroom quickly. I'll be a minute."

"Sure thing."

Kirishima got up from his seat and headed upstairs. There was one he could use down stairs, but if Masaru would say something about it he'd just say he forgot about it. Masaru wouldn't believe it but he would accept it. Kirishima didn't have to use the bathroom, he wanted to go to Bakugou's room. It wasn't right to go in there while Bakugou wasn't around but this might have been the last time he would see it again. He opened up the door and turned on the light. It was messy, like he hadn't been around long enough to clean it. The bed wasn't made, clothes on the floor scattered, and an ashtray full of cigarette butts. The stench… the smell of Bakugou filled Kirishima's nostrils and brought him back to a head space he wanted to remember for sometime now. He shut the door behind him and began to wander around the small room. Kirishima sat down on the edge of the bed and looked around the room. Finding familiarities he once recognized. He ran his hand on the sheets, straightening them out a bit before laying down on the bed. Kirishima closed his eyes and sighed.

He imagined the conversations him and Bakugou once had. How his little pale lips would part gently before his sharp teeth would show because something set him off. They never talked about the future that often. Only about the past and present. Must have been because Bakugou never saw such a far future with Kirishima. That made Kirishima chew his cheek. Kirishima rolled over on his side and cuddled up with Bakugou's pillow. He had already been up here for too long. But this place made his stomach feel warm and his heartbeat faster.

Kirishima thought about how clammy Bakugou's hand was when he held it. His grip around Kirishima would always be so strong when he held him. How his lips would move against Kirishima's, always acting like it was a way to assert dominance. Their noses would rub against one another's, the closeness of their breathes radiated their skin. Kirishima could feel that passion between them.

Kirishima opened his eyes and realized how much he still loved Bakugou and that all of this was ridiculous. To be in this position, pretending like they still had some sort of relationship. Kirishima got off of the bed and sighed. He would see him again. That much he knew, and his room would not be the last memory Kirishima had of him.

* * *

_So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. See you next update._  



	19. Goodbye

**Hey guys! Hope you're all doing well. Thank you guys for all of your support for the story. I hope you've enjoyed and if you did, please review, follow and favorite. I do not own MHA nor the characters used. Enjoy!**

* * *

_2.5_

_ So this is it. This is the end of a chapter in my life. I'm sad to see it close but that's just how these things go. They end as quickly as they began. But I have loved this life I've made here and I know those things won't end because I'm not here. Here is where I would love to be… it's just too close to him… and he was here first so I can't take that away from him on my mistakes. He was right, I got too close when all the red flags were up and now here I am, hurt and confused on why it wouldn't work out for us. I asked too many things when I should have just enjoyed the time we had together just like he had. I regret that. It's just how I think. I hope he can become happy again when I'm not here. Maybe he'll be able to strengthen those old relationships he once had. Be friends again with Midoriya, with Shinso, and Kaminari. Not just find another stranger and break their heart because he may not mean it but that's just what will happen. I think he's over that anyway. I want him to grow more, just as I have. And hopefully not wilt, like I have. So I guess this is goodbye. How terrifying all of this is. To go back to a place that sent me here. Once again, I will be alone and afraid._

So things were packed, all gone in little boxes and away in a truck that wouldn't be coming back anytime soon. The sofa with beer stains and cherry burn marks now curled up in the back of a haul along with all the other "too-big" items. Kaminari, Kirishima, and his mother put away all the cardboard boxes, fitting all the squares perfectly while Shinso and Toyomitsu hauled away the bigger things like mattresses and tables. It was all a lot of work. In the cool breeze of things they all felt extremely warm. But everyone was willing to help until the last moment they could.

"My goodness, you guys have been a big help. You sure I can't do anything for you boys? Give you some money for your time or any thing?" Kirishima's mother asked, wiping sweat from her forehead.

"No, ma'am. We just wanted to help Kirishima out is all." Kaminari said, placing a box in the truck.

"Such sweet boys. Thank you for helping me and my boy."

"We should have ordered something earlier, I'm starving." Kirishima groaned and stacked a box on top of another.

"Your father is making a big dinner for us when you come back. He told me to make sure you brought your appetite."

"Was that why he didn't come to help with all the heavy lifting?" Kirishima asked as he shoved the last box that was on the ground into the back.

She laughed and gave her son a big slap on the shoulder, "You know he has a bad back and with all these young men around he'd want to show off. Can't have him throwing out his back just to impress your friends with how strong he is."

"Yeah yeah, I know," Kirishima worked out his shoulder, "It's a bit strange how he's moved back in though."

"Well, I needed company while you were gone… I don't know it just sort of happened and it's working out well. Don't think you're going to hear any wedding bells soon though, baby."

Kaminari chuckled, and put the jacket that was around his waist back on his arms, "I think it's cute how you've gotten back together with him, Ms. Kirishima."

"Ah, you have a good head on your shoulders, Kaminari. I like you."

That made Kaminari happy as he and Shinso pulled down the back of the haul. Kirishima's mother had an athletic build with short black hair that went to her shoulders. She was smaller than her son and the same set of chompers he had. So Kaminari could only assume what his father looked like. Kirishima must have gotten his height from him and how broad he was. His mother had blue eyes so that must have meant the bright red irises came from Kirishima's father and his deep voice from him as well. Maybe he too was just as sensitive and easily overwhelmed.

"I'm not mad about it. I'm actually pretty happy to see him more often now. I've missed Pops." Kirishima said.

"Well, if we leave soon you'll have plenty of time to see him tonight. And the day after that and the day after that, " She grinned and gave her son a sudden hug, "It'll be good to see you often again too you know?"

"Alright, everything all loaded and ready to go," Shinso said and put his hands on his hips, "Good thing we got done sooner than we thought. Kaminari and I still have some alone time till my parents get home."

"Heh, you pervert." Kirishima said.

"Yeah, we should get going," Kaminari looked over at Kirishima and swallowed, "You… better get going."

"I guess this is goodbye now, eh Eijiro?" Shinso said

Shinso held out his hand. Kirishima moved away from his mother and took his hand, shaking it tightly. Yes, Shinso was going to miss Kirishima deeply.

"Yeah… yeah I guess this is," Kirishima muttered, "I have something for you."

Kirishima went over to the steps of his apartment building and picked up his journal. He made sure to leave it out, a long with his school bag and opened it to the last page. Ripping it out and folding it over multiple times before handing it to Shinso.

"Don't read it until I go, okay? Make sure everyone sees it though."

"Will do, Vice President. God, now I'm going to have to find another Vice President. Damn, I'm so mad that that's suddenly hitting me now."

"I know you can do it, you just have to put your back into it," he pat Shinso on the shoulder before looking over at Kaminari who's eyes looked wet. Kirishima opened his arms towards him, "Come on."

Kaminari raced over towards Kirishima and hugged him like he wasn't going to let go. Gripping the back of his shirt and nuzzling in the open part of his neck. Both of their eyes closed as they held each other.

"I'll miss you," Kaminari whispered, "Please come by as often as you can."

"I will, I will. Don't forget, I'm staying with you in the summer, airhead."

Kaminari chuckled sadly and nodded, "I won't. I remember."

Kirishima hummed and took a good look at his friend as he pulled away and how hard it was going to be to come across another Kaminari. This truly was a good area for friends. The couple waved. Said goodbye to Kirishima's mother. They wished they could have met her sooner, and on a different basis, she seemed like a lovely woman. They left in Shinso's mothers car, sending last goodbyes and kisses to Kirishima as they drove off. Toyomitsu was away from the fleeting group. He tried not to make too much conversation while Kirishima's mother was around. It was strange enough to be a grown man amongst teenagers, it would be worse if somehow the mother of one of those teenagers knew that they had kissed. And that both of them enjoyed that. Kirishima lingered away from his mother toward him. She went to the truck, pretending to do some last minute things so Kirishima would be able to privately say goodbye to his friend. Kirishima had his hands behind his back as he looked at Toyomitsu, smiling. Toyomitsu rubbed the back of his neck and nervously giggled at the way he was being eyed.

"What?" He asked

"Nothing. What about you?"

"... Nothing?"

"No goodbye kiss?" Kirishima suddenly said.

"Ha-what?! No way!" Toyomitsu said, flustered and made an X out of his fingers, "Not in fro-"

Kirishima laughed and waved his hand, "I'm kidding, just kidding. I wouldn't kiss you while my mother is here. But a hug would be just as nice."

Toyomitsu calmed down and slowly started to laugh at the joke. He held out his arms as Kirishima walked into the hug. He smelt fresh, but like dirt after a thunderstorm and was just as mushy as mud.

"You still got a chance. I'll even stay so you can unpack your stuff once you tell her." Toyomitsu whispered.

"Sorry, my mind is made up," Kirishima looked up at Toyomitsu, putting his hands on his face and squeezing his cheeks. "You'll come visit me when I'm here, right?"

"Of course," Toyomitsu said, muffled, "And when you're eighteen, boy are you really gonna see me then. We'll go out and people could speculate if I'm your dad or your boyfriend."

That was a joke, but it seemed real enough to make Kirishima smile and bury his head in his chest. Toyomitsu teased Kirishima's hair and remembered how his bathtub was still stained with red dye. He wanted to know him better, but that would take forever now. Now Toyomitsu would just be known as the older guy he had a crush on for a teenage boy and nothing else.

"You stay good, alright, kid?"

"I'll be good."

Kirishima pulled away, he reached up and gave Toyomitsu a kiss on the cheek. Before Toyomitsu's face turned red and sweaty, he was already off of him. He began to walk away from the area Toyomitsu had claimed earlier.

"Gah, I gotta let you stop doing stuff like that. You'll get me in trouble, kid!"

"You're a cop, how much trouble will you ever be in?" Kirishima said and waved, "Get outta here anyway, don't you have some crime to stop or something?"

Toyomitsu batted his hand before stuffing them into his pockets.

"It was good to meet you Ms. Kirishima!" He shouted as he walked towards his car.

"I told you that you can call me- ah forget it. Not like we'll see each other often, eh baby?"

"He knows your name, he's just being respectful."

"I know but it makes me sound old when a guy his age is calling me that. Ugh, he messed up your hair. Oh, I miss your black hair..."

Kirishima's mother started to fix Kirishima's messy hair. Getting a good look at his face, "You sure you want to take the train still? Wouldn't you want a little company with your old Ma on such a trip?"

"Mama, I already told you this. I got one last thing to do here."

"I know but did it really need to be this last minute? Haven't you said all your goodbyes already?"

Kirishima grabbed his mother's fiddling hands and held them with care. It was strange to have hands bigger than your mother's.

"I know you're worried about me but I have to do it, Ma. This one is really important to me, so please. Let me do this," Kirishima gave her a kiss on the cheek, "I'll be home before dinner. I promise. Okay?"

Kirishima's mother gave him a half smile before sighing.

"When did I get such a young man?" She patted Kirishima's cheek, "If you aren't home by dinner, you'll have to explain it to your father, not me."

"I know. I'll see you."

Kirishima's mother nodded before hopping into the truck. She began to drive away and Kirishima watched until the unloading truck had become a small spot in the distance. Kirishima grabbed his bag off of the stoop and breathed out deeply and began to walk to the bus stop that would take him to the train station. He took out his pack of cigarettes and took out the last one. Lighting it up as he walked down to the stop. He felt no fear this time, more determined than anything he has done here before. Because he had made a promise to himself that he wouldn't break.

* * *

Bakugou watched as another train left the station. He was sitting down on the ground against a cement pillar as he saw people hustling and bustling around the station. Going to their next train or leaving from one. All seeming like they had no time to lounge around like him. He was just finishing up a cigarette before he disposed of it in the butts bin before taking the next one out of the pack. He frequently liked to get a coffee and then chain smoke until his drink got cold. Sometimes he'd bring his headphones and sit in a cafe to catch up on shows. Some days he'd sit out in the station on metal benches and read the paper like some grown man. But on days like today, he wanted to people watch, and wonder where the trains would take them next. As he lit his cigarette, he noticed a figure looking down on him, he grumbled.

"Can't I get a little space? It's a whole train station," Bakugou snapped before lifting his head up. His eyes widened slightly as he placed the cigarette between his fingers, "What are you doing here?"

Kirishima had his hands in his pockets, and he had to admit, it felt good to be the one looking down on someone.

"I could ask you the same thing. But if you should know, I have a train ticket," Kirishima said, pulling out the ticket and waving it, "You don't seem like you're going anywhere any time soon."

"You're taking the train home?" Bakugou asked. He rubbed out the small bit of ash and saved the cigarette on the ground for later. He stood up.

"Ah, so you did know I was leaving."

"Well yeah, everyone did. 1-A has a loud mouth you know? I just wasn't sure when and then my dad told me you were leaving today."

"And no goodbye, I wasn't expecting any less from you," Kirishima chuckled, "Your dad told me you'd be here so… I had to come to you."

"I don't know what you're expecting me to do here, Kirishima. I thought I made it very clear I wasn't going to be involved with you anymore."

"Even when I'm leaving? And you won't see me for awhile?"

"I already wasn't seeing you."

He sounded so cold. It was a good persona. To try and keep Kirishima away, but today he was determined. Nothing was going to stop Kirishima from saying what he wanted to say. His train wasn't coming till the next half hour. He had all the time he needed with Bakugou to make his peace in those thirty minutes. And Bakugou better let Kirishima say it.

"Look, you better-"

"I kissed someone today," Kirishima interrupted. Standing tall even though Bakugou was up now, "It was just on the cheek but I've kissed him before. His lips are soft and I really like him. I met him before you came over that day. I flirted with him."

Bakugou raised an eyebrow and then narrowed them. He turned his head to the side, "Tch...Why are you telling me this?"

"I just wanted to see how you'd react. You're balling up your hands. That has to mean something right?"

"You see me for five minutes and you're already trying to analyze me." Bakugou said, shaking his hands a bit.

"You still have feelings for me is what it means. If you didn't care about me then you wouldn't have shown it just then."

Bakugou rolled his eyes and then crossed his arms, "Is that why you came here? To tell me about some guy you're trying to get with and see if that would piss me off?"

"And does it?"

"Yeah, it does. We done here?"

"No, this is just the beginning of this," Kirishima took a step towards Bakugou, "I have a lot to say to you. And I deserve an answer before I go. Then…if nothing changes between us... me and you can go back to not talking. I promise."

Bakugou rolled his tongue in his mouth before sighing and putting his arms to his side. It was what he wanted in the end. If a last conversation is what that meant then Bakugou would agree.

"Go on then. Say whatever you want."

"You have to promise me you're going to listen. And that you're going to answer everything I ask truthfully."

"Fine, fine. Just start talkin'."

Kirishima breathed in and moved his face in Bakugou's bubble. Bakugou tried to avert his eyes but that wouldn't have done him any good.

"I'm leaving because of you," Kirishima whispered. Something he had yet to say out loud, "I tried to kill myself because you can't admit how you really feel about me and you want to run from me instead."

"That was stupid of you."

That was the reaction Kirishima was expecting.

"Yeah, you're right it was. But it's your fault," Kirishima pressed his finger against Bakugou's chest, "Now I know you did it so you could become someone else once your mom died and I get how horrible and frustrating that is for you. But that never meant that you had to just… leave me."

"I told you all you were to me was just something to keep my mind off of things."

"You had plenty of things to keep your mind off of your home life and your mom before I got here. But I was different. Just admit it. That you were scared and you didn't know what to do about me anymore."

"Why should I say something like that when it seems like you already have that dumb idea in your head?"

"Because I know that's what it is. So say it already you coward."

"Hey! Don't you say that about me!"

"Then day it about yourself." Kirishima gritted.

Bakugou rested the back of his head against the pillar and looked up. Everything in his being was telling him just to leave and have this all be over. His fists were shaking, his whole body tensing up. But it felt like Kirishima was holding him against that pillar with just his pointer finger, telling him 'the truth will set you free'. He relaxed his hands, and got a clear view of Kirishima's face.

"...I was scared… I was angry and upset… I was a fucking hurricane of emotions and-fuck." Bakugou shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair.

"And what?"

"And I didn't want to hurt you, okay?! Yes, I care a fuckton about you. And yeah, I do miss you sometimes. You started off as a distraction and then you became more than that. And then I realized I was just going to ruin you if I stayed around you any longer and I couldn't live with myself if that happened. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"No. Right now I'm wishing you had the guts to say that way earlier," Kirishima chewed his cheek but he also felt relieved that Bakugou finally admitted how he really felt, "You've already ruined me. And I've ruined you back. I should have taken more time with you… but you're like no one I've ever met before. So… I'm sorry for that."

Bakugou chuckled, "Apology accepted I guess. Don't you have some train to get on by now?"

"Not yet," Kirishima said. He tugged on Bakugou's sleeve as he began to sit down on the ground, "Do you know how hard this is for me? Forcing myself to get away from you?"

Bakugou sat down next to Kirishima, "I didn't ask you to do that. I didn't ask for you to make this huge gesture so you can screw what you have here."

"No, all you did was let me love you… and then told me to stop. It's not fair what you did to me. It's not fair when I know how you feel."

Bakugou pouted, having his hand on his cheek as he looked to the side. Kirishima breathed out through his nose. He needed to lay off, just for a moment.

"You know, with you spending so much time here, your dad thinks you're going to run away. Is that true?"

Bakugou sighed, "I think about it every time I'm here. I'll just buy the cheapest ticket to who-knows-where and just leaving. But I haven't gotten anywhere close to actually doin' it. I guess I've been hating the fact that you're here and I'm not going to be around you..."

"And now I'm leaving. So how are you feeling about that?"

"That if you waited a little longer I would have gotten a ticket and left and you could stay here. You're shit at making decisions."

"You're one to talk," Kirishima nudged him, "Like I said. It's all your fault."

Bakugou looked at the ground. Finding stepped on gum to keep him focused and seeing others walk over the candy constantly on their way as Kirishima took a break from talking. Kirishima's words were floating all around in his mind. Making his brain work overtime in making sense of his actions and his past. Something he frequently tried to avoid because too much pain rested in the past. But now, being forced to recognize these things,he was piecing events with feelings. Realizing now that Kirishima made him usually feel pretty good. That his touch was graceful and his voice meaningful. Kirishima was probably the only person who had really loved him, no matter who he was. And now, with this conversation, it would be the last time he would have this again. What an idiot he was.

You never know how good you have something until it's up and leaving. As Bakugou's mother was dying, he tried so hard to never show how he felt. And that was moronic to think of now. Now because he always had someone who wouldn't mind the fits. The angry outbursts or days of isolation. Kirishima would have stayed all the way. But Bakugou has thrown that away. He was too defensive.

"Yeah. It is my fault…All of this," Bakugou turned his head towards Kirishima. His gaze was gentle and understanding, "I'm… I'm sorry, Kirishima."

Kirishima didn't say anything. He simply leaned his face against Bakugou's neck and closed his eyes. His nose up against Bakugou's showing skin. He placed his hand on the back of Bakugou's head and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You're a bonehead."

"You know… I'm just realizing that this moment…" Bakugou wrapped one of his arms slowly around Kirishima's back and began to rub.

"That's all I ever needed. Just an apology from you," Kirishima muttered, "If I had heard that earlier, we wouldn't be here."

Bakugou blinked a few times and gripped Kirishima's jacket tightly. He nodded.

"You're right… God, I'm such a fucking moron," Bakugou wrapped his other arm around Kirishima. Holding him like a prized possession, "I'm sorry but… I don't know what to do about this now."

"You don't need to do anything. I'm just glad that you actually talked to me."

Kirishima pulled away from Bakugou and started to get up from the ground with a groan. He held out his hand and pulled Bakugou up. Smiling at him. A train rolled up rushing down the tracks before there was a screeching halt. The numbers matching with the one on his ticket.

"That's my train. If I don't start boarding now then I won't have a seat left."

"So, this is it? We had one of the best talks we've ever had and… you still have to leave?"

Kirishima sadly laughed and brushed his bangs out of his face, "Yeah. Funny, huh?"

"No, it's horrible. It's not fair…" Bakugou held Kirishima's hand, and ran his thumb over his knuckles, "I feel like all of this is cleared up. And we could…"

"Have something again?"

"Yeah…"

Kirishima lowered his head and bit his bottom lip. He quietly chuckled. He placed his hand on Bakugou's cheek. For once, it didn't look like Bakugou had anger on his face. But instead it was sadness.

"Time is strange. It only moves forward and you and me have been living in the past. We have to stay in the present and look towards the future."

"That's a crock of shit." Bakugou breathed out and shook his head, "I want to be with you. I want to be with you this instant. Now you're tellin' me I can't?"

"You know, maybe someday. When the two of us know what we want at the same time. I might come back and stay… and maybe try again."

Bakugou swallowed and lowered his head, his brow crinkled and lips were pressed together. He shook his head in frustration as Kirishima's fingers started to work through his hair.

"I want to pick you up and take you away. I hate this. I hate all of this, why did you have to come here?"

"I had to see you. I had to know how you felt. And now I know and… and I love you more than I ever had before. But now, I have to make this about me… you should do the same."

Kirishima leaned in and kissed Bakugou deeply. His eyes fluttering closed and Bakugou's doing the same. Bakugou held Kirishima closely to him as he parted his lips more. All the noise in the busy train station started to fade. No more sounds of shoes clicking on the ground, no gears working up and leaving down the rail way. It was all quiet as they kissed, almost like a dream or if time stopped. The hairs on their arms stood up as their lips moved. They looked like a statue of long lost lovers being reunited, just so they could leave and not see each other once again. The train started to signal it was leaving soon. Kirishima pulled away and rested his forehead against Bakugou's. He sniffled, but he wasn't going to cry.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

Kirishima pulled away and walked to the open doors of the train. Bakugou followed him until he was on. Kirishima smiled sadly but it was a smile no less. The doors started to shut.

"I love you." Kirishima said before the doors closed. He waved as he walked down the aisle to find a seat.

As the train began to leave the station, Bakugou watched it go. Seeing the one person he cared so much about leaving now. Wondering how he couldn't have seen this before.

"I love you too." Bakugou whispered to himself.

* * *

_I hope you enjoyed. Review and favorite if you did. See you next time._


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